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Dedicated August 2021

covid Postponement Etiquette and Change Questions

Nicole, on September 11, 2020 at 1:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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We announced late July postponing our wedding again into August of next year. With the economical impact of everything going on, a lot of my wants have changed and I want to be more realistic. Fiancé is optimistic that we have a whole year to figure out and pay for the wedding, but I am still wanting to trim the fat and not be so worried and stressed about paying for something so big that doesn’t feel like it’s worth the hassle anymore.

What do you do if you have been engaged for over two years at the time of the most recent postponed date and some of the invitees you don’t really talk to anymore? Do you uninvite them?
Did anybody feel the need to reconfirm bridal party again? What is a fair and reasonable amount of time to give them? I felt like I should wait until after the holidays and send another email out the beginning of next year and give them a few weeks to think about it. Thoughts?
I have an old coworker who is a florist and has been really nice and helpful, but I have yet to get a contract or written out proposal for anything from her. We have been talking about stuff for about a year. It sounded like she would try to work with a $3K budget for us, but I’m starting to worry that we could go over that or maybe I should DIY or find other alternatives to save. I am not sure how to handle this and not burn a bridge.
I’m also lost with planning bachelorette and bridal shower stuff. At this point, I don’t think it’s a focus for anybody (understandably) and I don’t know why it has me so down, but it does.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Susan, on October 6, 2020 at 9:46 PM

Master October 2020
Yasmine · on September 11, 2020 at 2:25 PM
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Well the good thing is you definitely have a while to figure things out. Are you cutting your guest list? If you are, then obviously you have to uninvite some people but to just change your mind about people, idk lol. As far as your bridal party I would just keep them up to speed with details about your plans and ask if they still want to be a part of your big day.

For bachelorette and bridal party are you planning it yourself? Normally someone else plans it. I hope you figure it all out!
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Master October 2022
Jana · on September 11, 2020 at 2:48 PM
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The etiquette that I have read from Miss Manners /Emily Post etc on how to properly conduct a postponement is to treat it like you are cancelling the event entirely. Never uninvite anyone as that is very rude and hurtful. Cancel your first wedding. Start over from scratch with your new plans.
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on September 11, 2020 at 2:57 PM
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Did you consult with your wedding party when picking the new date? Have they already purchased or rented their attire? Are you trying to reduce people from your wedding party or is there some reason other than availability that you think people would step down? I’m a little thrown by the idea of trimming the fat from the wedding party, yet perhaps I’m misunderstanding. Unless you guys are considering having none at all (still a bit unusual, but at least you don’t have some people sitting on the sidelines wondering why they were removed and others were not).
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Just Said Yes October 2021
Rissmunoz · on September 11, 2020 at 4:35 PM
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Thank you for posting! I literally asked a similar question myself in a discussion about this.

I also want to cut our guest list from 55 people to just our immediate family, best friends and plus ones (so, to 22) because of COVID and the uncertainty regarding whether if anyone could afford to go to our wedding next year October 2021 since we are having a destination wedding in Maui! My concerns stem from the pandemic and the challenges it has caused us financially. It seems like the stigma around changes to wedding dates, party sizes, and venues has become become less of a burden on brides since the pandemic. Part of me feels like our initial wedding guest list would understand if we had to retract on the numbers because of COVID times, but then part of me feels still ashamed for switching it up.
I’ve also decided I could save by purchasing bulks of flowers from Costco and vases off Amazon and making arrangements myself. Maybe you can do the same instead of spending $3000 on flower decorations?
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Super October 2020
Eri · on September 11, 2020 at 5:41 PM
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How much are you wanting to change about the event apart from the guests? Is it still the same venue and everything? I can tell you that even with downsizing from 130 to 30, our wedding is still extremely expensive because we're keeping pretty much everything else.
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Dedicated August 2021
Nicole · on October 6, 2020 at 5:27 PM
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I need to talk to my fiancé on options, but for every 10 people that we cut, we are estimating $1600 in savings minimum (table floral, decor, food/bev)
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Devoted October 2021
Susan · on October 6, 2020 at 9:46 PM
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We went from May this year to October this year to October next year I feel your pain...
At first I was totally bummed. But I decided to see it as an opportunity to really jazz up the wedding. Like your fiance, I guess, I realized we have extra time to save extra money and do it up better than we had planned. I'm cutting the guest list almost in half, but making the wedding so much nicer for the folks who are coming. I've already asked the bridal party to stick with it, and they've all agreed.

We've also got a plan B, so if this time next year, it's still not safe, we will elope.
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