covid postponement and elopement

I think it would just depend on how your parents are. What have they done to be so toxic if you don’t mind me asking? I understand not wanting negative energy but I think having your child uninvite you to their own wedding would be really hard for them. Is their any way you/FH could have a conversation with them to fix things? Sorry you’re having to go through this!

Hi Victoria,

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with unsupportive family members in the midst of creating a back-up plan for your wedding. It's a hard enough time for you right now without toxic people.

From my perspective, you have every right to plan the elopement experience in Tahoe that makes your heart happy. That being said, I do think that excluding them from the elopement wedding trip is likely to start more drama. Obviously, I don't know the details of your specific situation or any background information beyond how critical they've been during your planning to date. Is there a way to express your feelings honestly and directly to them? Maybe discussing your plan B could be a good reset on the whole situation? Is it possible they don't realize how unpleasant they've been? You would know best.

What if you involve them more heavily in the big wedding plan (later) after things cool down? I'm a big believer in setting boundaries and managing expectations from the get-go, so you could decide exactly what level of involvement you're comfortable with. There are some ideas in this article (not sure if your family is local/nearby): 7 Ways to Keep Your Family Involved with Wedding Planning if You're Not Able to See Each Other .

I hope you can find a healthy balance between doing exactly what you want and allowing your family to support you, assuming they're willing to do so.