covid Elopement and celebration later?

Hey Victoria!

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you My husband and I were supposed to have our wedding on May 23rd, but we had to postpone, so October 23rd is our new date - hopefully, that works out!

We ended up having a very small, short ceremony with our immediate family and pastor in my parent's backyard. It was important to us to still be married, but we both very much wanted to have the ceremony with everyone present- not just have a reception. The small ceremony was still emotional and very meaningful, but we decided to save a lot of the big components for October when we can hopefully have everyone there. For instance, we're writing our own vows- so we didn't do that in May, and our pastor (who is my husband's Godfather and very close to his family) didn't give his full sermon/speech to us because we knew we'd both be very emotional and we wanted to share that with everyone. I wore a different short white dress and saved my wedding dress for the big wedding. We want to do a first look and have our photographers capture it.

I'm SO glad we decided to do all this- it was such a sweet and special day, and being married makes everything worth it! Everyone knows we're married, but it doesn't diminish any of the anticipation of the wedding in October since we explained that the big ceremony was postponed.

This is just my opinion so feel free to disregard this, but I think you should share with your guests that you did decide to get married! Of course, this is COMPLETELY your decision and I support you big time either way (team COVID bride!), but being married to your favorite person is so exciting and I think you shouldn't hold yourself back from sharing that! Your friends, family, and guests are still going to be so excited for your big day, regardless of if you're already technically married! The way you label your day is completely up to you, so semantics with "vow renewal" vs "wedding day" is pretty arbitrary, especially during these extremely crazy times. Will our wedding in October technically be a vow renewal since we're already married? I guess! But we're still calling it our wedding day because in our eyes that's what is - our wedding! And since we postponed everything, to most (if not all) of our guests it's still our wedding as well.

Good luck to you with everything!! It's going to all work out

Following this thread. I’m in the same boat but in PA. With the uncertainty of COVID and the climbing cases, we decided to ditch the large wedding and reception this year. We would like to get married 10/24/20 (small ceremony) and have the reception next year on 10/22/21. We head out for our honeymoon on 10/23/21 so it kinda works out. It’s important to us that we don’t delay our marriage for other people.

If we have to postpone, we will get married on our original date and have a vow renewal next year on our anniversary. At this point things are looking okay for our 9/12/20 wedding. We had to revert to our original guest list to keep under 50 (we had added a few friends that brought it up to 56), and some of the restrictions caught us a little by surprise (no mingling during our outdoor social hour), but we’re not doing a big traditional reception anyways since it’s sunrise and breakfast.
The uncertainty is the worst! I don’t think either plan is bad, I would just be weary that if Covid is causing closures/major restrictions in October it will do so throughout the rest of this year and probably into next year. Good luck! Hope October will work out for you!

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Thank you! Your words mean so much. And you are SO right, it will still be our wedding day regardless- especially to the guests. thank you so much for your input, what you did is basically what I was thinking and couldn't put into words!

I hope both of our big days in October can go off without an issue! And, you're right, everything is going to work out

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Thank you! That's our worry as well. Shortening the guest list is a hard stop for us- it's all family with only a few of my friends (that are like a second family, literally)- so removing anyone is not going to happen.

Ours is a morning Brunch wedding- it was supposed to be served buffet style and our venue hasn't mentioned anything about how that is supposed to work. I have some ideas that I plan to suggest- but ultimately it comes down to what they can accommodate.

Ugh, it's all up in the air- and I agree the uncertainty is the WORST. If we have to postpone it will probably be until next October because, as you noted as well, the restrictions will probably carry over into the New Year.

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Same! We don't want to delay our marriage, and FH and I are in complete agreement on that. We're just trying to figure out the celebration aspect. I'm leaning towards postponing the ceremony/reception until next October if we have to. It definitely sucks, but, there isn't much else that we can do!!

So we were scheduled for 4/4 in Dallas, Texas, and of course everything was on lockdown by that point. We postponed two days after WHO declared it a pandemic, knowing we didn't want people travelling, but then we thought we would be clear by August. That being said, we decided we wanted to be married on our date. None of our family lives here, but my husband's best friend got himself ordained and came over on the fourth to marry us while he stood in the hallway. I wore what was supposed to be my exit dress, and we both have terrible pictures because lighting was bad but we didn't want to risk ourselves by going anywhere. That being said, I treasure being married. We missed our family but felt like this was an affirmation we needed. And I get to call him husband!


We still plan on having a ceremony and reception, and I obviously saved my dress for that future date whenever it will be. We want to celebrate with our family and know that we might be waiting awhile. For us we're becoming ok with that. I think there's going to be a turn for weddings to be more family focused for awhile, and maybe that's ok. I think you should do what feels good for you guys - we didn't want to wait to be married anymore but we couldn't put family in danger. Good luck girl! We all support you in whatever you decide to do.

View Quoted Comment I totally get not being able to cut the guest list. One venue we looked at had a max of 35 including us, and while we loved it we just couldn’t imagine not having everyone with us.
We are having a buffet as well and our event coordinator told us that it will be a one sided buffet with servers on the other side and guests must wear masks in line (and anytime they aren’t at their assigned tables). I’m sure your venue has or will come up with a plan.

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Thank you! I agree- we do not want to put family at risk. My family is coming from GA, which has had an influx in cases since reopening (doesn't help that my family is going to water parks like COVID doesn't exist -_- )

I think rescheduling until next year is likely going to be what happens. We'll still get married on our original date- because we are not interested in postponing our marriage that long. I would see if my dad (lives in CT) would like to be the witness, as NY requires one, and then I would feel a bit better because at least part of my family would be there to witness me actually get married haha.

Of course, it isn't optimal, but it's just going to have to be something that we're okay with! Thank you so much! I'm feeling a lot better knowing that others are handling this so well and with such grace.

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Thank you! That plan actually makes perfect sense and is way better than what I came up with haha. I'll have to see if that's the plan for my venue has well.

Honestly, for a bit I was upset about the masks needing to be worn and being in all the pictures. But...at least it'll be an interesting/funny story to tell the grandkids one day! haha.

View Quoted Comment Pffft I wouldn't say handling it with grace per say....I cried a lot in April because my mother couldn't be here, but we facetimed while I did my makeup and she sent me some of her jewelry to wear. It wasn't ideal, but we realized that was the reality of our situation.


Yeah, people in Texas were acting like it was all good and just doing whatever. Now its biting all of us. Masks are required, and we're rapidly heading for a lockdown. Even with Texas being super conservative though, people are changing their tunes. Its really a kick in the teeth that is waking people up sadly.
I bought another dress, and that honestly helped me compartmentalize a bit. It's just a matter of love persisting no matter what happens. It's what really matters.

View Quoted Comment It will definitely be a story! I haven’t embraced it to the extent of getting a fancy lace bridal mask, but we’re ready to be married now after 7 1/2 years of dating and a 19 month engagement and this is the requirement.
I’m just grateful we don’t have to have everyone in masks during the outdoor ceremony, of course I don’t mind if people want to wear them, but we can socially distance outside.

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Even in NY we're seeing a few more cases. Many from restaurants reopening, but it doesn't look like the Gov is going to close them back down anytime soon. It's just so frustrating. We anticipate these day since we're little and then a worldwide pandemic hits....it's not funny, but also absolutely ridiculous to the point it almost is funny!

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Exactly! I also wanted to touch base with our venue about moving to an outdoor ceremony/reception if that would be necessary- since everything was supposed to be indoors originally.

Honestly, I won't be okay with wearing a mask during my ceremony, at all. And if that's required then we'll definitely be postponing. We'd still get married on our original date- but there's some things I'm not comfortable compromising on- and that's one of them!

I am having a small ceremony in 19 days. Only 10 people will be there my parents and his and siblings. I was able to get a full catered meal and cake and basically I’m having a mini wedding. I loved my 200 + wedding reception to next year 🙃 and to be honest with you I’m scared about 2021 because the virus seems like it will be here for awhile. I’m not to sure what to do with the 2021 reception.... if I should pull the plug or move forward even if the venue says 50 ppl which I don’t know maybe then I would just not have it because cutting my guest list kind of hurts

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Thank you so much!! I'm so glad I could help - we gotta stick together during these crazy times!

Hi Victoria,


My husband and I got married on our original date May 2, 2020. We had an intimate ceremony at our home. We decided to have the formal wedding ceremony and reception May 1, 2021. Like a one year celebration/ vow renewal.