T
Just Said Yes December 2021

covid - Don't know what to do

Tessa, on August 19, 2021 at 12:46 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
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Firstly I just wanted to say I AM SO SORRY you are having to plan a wedding through covid. I know how stressful this is.

So I am from Australia, but I can’t find a forum and I REALLY need some advice from people who are going through the same thing as us.

This is our third attempt at getting married because of COVID, we are fed up and we want our wedding to go ahead.

WE just don’t know what to do. 40% of our guests live locally, so that’s not a problem. 30% live in another state, and 30% live in another state again. We are only shutting borders to states with an outbreak, so if one state can’t come, the other state can. Our biggest concern is my partners parents live interstate, so if covid hits that state, and we reschedule the other state has already booked their flights and accommodation. I don’t think it’s fair. But nothing is fair for us, or anyone involved right now.

1st Question.

Is it fair if we ask my partners parents to book 14 days before the wedding, and be prepared to isolate, at our cost not theirs.

2. Should we reschedule the wedding if his parents choose not to isolate and make everyone else change their flights and accommodation AGAIN if an outbreak hits?

Ideally, we would love for our wedding to go ahead no matter what, and throw a party for the state/s that can’t attend if that happens.

Please no mean answers L We haven’t made any decisions, this is why we are asking for help.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Crystal, on August 19, 2021 at 12:10 PM
  • Cynthia
    Savvy September 2021
    Cynthia ·
    • Flag
    That is such a tough decision. I am in a similar boat. We postponed from last September, everything was looking great until the past week. I’m in Chicago, so it is still unknown what will occur in the next few weeks. I feel like you and your partner should ask yourself how important is it for his parents to be there. And come up with two plans- 1) that they agree to your first proposition, and 2) if they do not, how to incorporate them into the ceremony, in the event that they Cannot come. I wish you the best in finding the best solution. Unfortunately with the ever changing status of covid, our weddings will not be what we dreamed. It is sad, frustrating and annoying to say the least. Think about what are the important aspects of your wedding, and how you can have that or at least close to it.
    • Reply
  • Janet
    Devoted October 2018
    Janet ·
    • Flag

    Follow-up question. Are yours and his parents able to quarantine for the 14 days? No time off from jobs, can work remotely, will groceries be available, no other responsibilities that they need to be present for, etc.? This is quite a big ask anyway, but who knows they may be able to swing it.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I think the accommodations you propose to invite your partner’s parents are very reasonable and may provide them relief as well. If they work remotely or are retired, even better! I imagine they want to move forward to and be at the wedding. Postponing our wedding once was heartbreaking, can’t imagine doing it more than once. But for what it’s worth, we loved our smaller, redesigned wedding better than our original plan! I wish a safe, happy wedding for you ❤️
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the PPs! If your partner's parents can reasonably travel to your state for 14 days prior to the event, on your dime, that would be ideal. I'll echo Janet about the work, groceries, responsibilities, etc. - maybe brainstorm some solutions to these things and proactively bring them up when you talk to your partner's parents. You guys seem to be approaching this in a super considerate way, so I have no doubt that it'll be received well. That's my answer to your first question, but I can't really give an answer to your second because it's such a personal thing. I wish you lots of luck that your first plan works well and that your partner's parents will be able to attend Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    I think it is worthwhile to have a conversation with them about their willingness to do so (different than straight up requesting that they do it)— and work through it from there. It’s something I would be *willing* to do for family fundamentally, but realistically might not be able accommodate due to work schedule, pet care etc. But an open conversation to consider it and see if any challenges can be over come or not I’d totally fair
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    I don't have any suggestions, but I wanted to give you a virtual hug and say how sorry I am you are dealing with this. We have close family in AU and they are SO frustrated by the constant lock downs and the ever changing rules & regulations.... I'm thinking good thoughts for you! Smiley heart

    Also, there is a user on this forum, MrsWinterisComing, who is also in AU and has had to change her plans many times. She may know of other forums/groups from AU who can relate and support you!

    • Reply
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    I'm not sure about Australia, but I know many places require a negative test before you can get on a plane. Could they just take a test right before or right after they travel? If both are negative then a quarantine is unnecessary.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Dedicated August 2021
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I definitely think, like many others have said, that your first proposal is a great idea if they can swing it & quite generous if you can swing it! I am hoping that works out for you. It is 100% worth a discussion & truly shows great effort in ensuring they are included & their presence is wanted.

    Worst comes to worst, rather than rescheduling again, have you looked into possibly doing a live stream? Our videographer offers livestream services & although it was tempting, we didn't necessarily have a need for it.

    Lots of love Smiley heart we get married in 7 days from today & we are crawling to finish line hoping no wrenches are thrown in our plans, too!

    • Reply
  • Crystal
    Devoted September 2021
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    This is such a hard decision, I know cause I’ve been in it too. This is our third and final attempt at a planned wedding I said to my FH “whoever shows up is who shows up we aren’t rescheduling again for covid” I suppose that may sound harsh to some but as I’m sure you know it’s very draining and makes you feel like life is on pause when you have to redo or reschedule over and over. If I was where you are I’d go with the first option. And if they cannot make it or quarantine for that time, make sure you live stream it for them. That’s a tough moment to not have them there but try to remember it’s a day for you two and as important as most of our families are to us you have to be able to have your wedding and start your marriage. We’ve lost 4 family members who other wise may have been able to be there if we hadn’t had to reschedule time is precious and who we have at the moment is precious, at least that’s how I look at it. I wish all the best of luck dear!
    • Reply

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