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Samantha
Devoted July 2020

covid Disclaimer?

Samantha, on July 7, 2020 at 3:09 PM Posted in Planning 0 24
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So, my wedding is this coming Saturday and, unfortunately, a little over a week ago, four of my FH's family members were diagnosed with COVID. We were only in contact with two of them so we got tested and so did my parents since they were there, too. We're all negative and my FH's family members who had it are cleared by the health department to come out of quarantine after tomorrow (so the 9th and beyond). Today my aunt texts me and tells me that she isn't coming to the wedding now because she's worried. I replied back saying that I understand and hopefully we'll all get together next year (she already drove here [Ohio] from Virginia and has been staying with my grandparents - mind you, she left her kids with my grandparents for a week so her and her husband could go on vacation together and now they're spending the current week there with my grandparents and their kids). But then she texted me again asking me if I told all of our guests that some of my FH's family members had it. We've told a few people, including those who are at higher risk, but we didn't make a public announcement. I feel like it's not anyone's business and we were tested and are fine. I also feel like you're knowingly taking a risk when you attend any event or go out in public? Right? Our venue is going to do all that they can do to make sure that people stay safe but I just don't have the time or energy to call everyone and it's too late to send out letters? I thought about posting a risk statement on our website and on the boards where people find their seats. What do you guys think?

24 Comments

  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
    • Flag

    I would let everyone know who would be attending. It's definitely their business if they're going to a wedding, and the bride and groom had been exposed to people who tested positive. I know you're so close to your date that there's a lot you can't do, but definitely do everything you can do. These people are going to your wedding to support you, but I'm sure many people's minds would change after given that information. Posting a statement after people have already arrived is definitely not enough.

  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    While I think you’re right in that people are assuming some risk going to an event in these times, I think there’s an added risk when you know for a fact you and the groom have been exposed to people who tested positive and you’ll be greeting all your guests. I think this is something your guests deserve to know.
  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I understand what you're saying, I reallty do, but I was exposed and tested and my results were negative and it was over two weeks ago, so even if I was positive before, I'd likely be clear now. I put on our website that they are taking a risk but you take a risk every single time you step in public and I told my guests on the invitations to keep checking for updates. My aunt drove from another state and stopped at gas stations, she was probably exposed far more than me.
  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    So we should call everyone and say that we were exposed even though we tested negative? That seems over the top for me. We literally pose no risk.
  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
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    How many people are attending?
  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    140. Tables will be 6 feet apart. Families and co-workers will be seated together to avoid crossing people who don't normally see each other. Buffet will be dished out by the staff who will be wearing masks and gloves. And we were tested negative for COVID and so were other family members.
  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
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    You asked for people's advice, so you must think (even a little) that you should let them know. Even if you do pose no risk, that's the guests decision to make with the information their given. Just like your aunt decided for her own reasons, she no longer feels comfortable attending. Personally, I would be livid if I attended a wedding where someone had come in contact with people (let alone the groom's family who I'm assuming will be attending the wedding) who tested positive and didn't notify everyone, whether they themselves tested positive or not. It doesn't hurt at all to call everyone, stating that you were exposed and tested negative, but thought they should know anyway. That would be the courteous thing to do. You obviously can't cancel/postpone this late, so I'm just sharing my opinion on what I would do. Wish you the best!!

  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    My question was more about the disclaimer. My aunt is a nurse practitioner and I have guests who are nurses. They come in contact every day? Should I tell everyone that I have people who are exposed to it every day coming? My sister cuts hair, whose to say she didn't come in contact? If I'm negative and my fiance and my family are all negative, it's pointless IMO because there's no risk from us. I wouldn't change my mind if I knew that the bride and groom were negative and I would treat everyone else as if they were positive because I know that a lot of people are asymptomatic and that you have the illness before showing signs. I'm sure a lot of my guests know someone who had it and had to be tested, too.
  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
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    Then yes, for a disclaimer I would personally call every guest and let them know, because again, it's the courteous thing to do. Plain & simple.

  • Jennifer
    Dedicated July 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    If you have a wedding website that people are checking for updates, I might add the disclaimer there. I know it isn't anybody's true business to know every detail of your life, but if a guest had medical issues that maybe even you don't know about, they can take extra precautions just in case. Also remember, just because you tested negative when you took the test doesn't automatically mean you don't have it or won't obtain symptoms later. I know it is a slim chance but you just never know. I would just explain the situation on the wedding website and let them know that the people who did test positive were self isolated and remained isolated until they were cleared by the health department. Individuals who came in contact with these individuals also went and got tested and tests came back negative. You might not need to tell them exactly who but that the situation did happen. I see both sides of the argument and you just want to be safe and at least give them some what of a heads up!

  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    If you got tested before giving yourself time for the 2 week incubation period, I wouldn't be certain that you are negative. I would 100% disclose to everyone that is attending that the bride and groom have been in contact with someone who had tested positive. You don't have to say who, but I think it's fair they have all the facts before deciding whether or not to attend. There is a difference between being potentially exposed by every day activities and actually knowing that you were in contact with someone with the illness. There are plenty of people who are carriers and exhibit no symptoms.
  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you need to do a disclaimer that is very specific. You all tested negative and they have been cleared. It's a non-issue now. I think in a general sense it would be good to put a disclaimer on your website stating if you have felt ill or come in contact with a sick individual and haven't been tested please do not come etc.

  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Yeah, I already had a statement on the website that stated that we understand if you don't don't feel comfortable coming and to please stay home if you're not feeling well. I also encouraged people to try to making social distancing and to use the provided hand sanitizer and to wear a mask if they'd like. Oh and I told everyone to continue to check the website for any COVID updates. This was all on there when everyone RSVP'D and I only did RSVP through the website except a few older people, and for them I provided a note in their invite about COVID. I let my photographer know that I was tested and obviously my bridesmaids and the groomsmen and they were all okay with it. They said they're more worried about getting it before the wedding than from the wedding. I also texted two of my friends who have kids and they both just said congrats on being negative lol but one of them is a home health nurse who goes into group homes and the other works in a large factory, so they're usually at risk of coming in contact with people who may have it.
  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    That's not how the incubation period works. Symptoms can take 2-14 days to appear after coming in contact but you will still test positive even before you develope symptoms. People who never have symptoms will still test positive. My future BIL and his wife both had symptoms within 48 hours of contact. Their roommates have also been tested and are negative because they followed the necessary precautions. They also went to a wedding the next day because they didn't know that they had it yet and one other person from the wedding got it who was sharing drinks and huggig my BIL's wife . Both my family doctor and the testing clinic are aware of when I was possibly exposed and they said that I am clear. They recommend that you get tested within a few days of contact, which is what I did. I had two tests done (mouth & nose) to decrease the chance of a false result. It's also been 14+ days and I have no symptoms.
  • Anna
    Dedicated November 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    You obviously aren’t looking for people’s actual thoughts, but as others have stated, I would be furious to find out you knowingly excluded such critical information. This is just reckless. As others also said, you clearly know this since you asked and are being so defensive.
  • Samantha
    Devoted July 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I told my photographer, my caterer knows, the whole bridal party, our families, and I've been texting friends. My FH's family has been reaching out to be people, too. So far I've been laughed at and/or told it's not a big deal. So far my aunt is the only one deterred from coming.
  • Leanne
    Expert September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    Agree. I think you probably know in your gut it’s the right thing to do. That’s why you’re here asking. I feel for you, because who wants to share that news says before your wedding? Y’all to your vendors and see what they suggest. Last thing you want is a lawsuit.
  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
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    I think your good then.

  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    You don't know which of your guests are high risk. They may have medical conditions you don't know about, they may be in early pregnancy... you *must* tell them you've been exposed.

    You say it was a little over a week ago - incubation for this is up to 2 weeks. Getting tested a few days ago means you could still test positive in a week.

    And you said four of your FH's family have tested positive? How many family members were in contact with them?

    Please take this seriously.

    I say this as a high risk person... that many people don't know are high risk. Even *after* being very vocal about it on social media.

  • BRIYELL
    Savvy September 2020
    BRIYELL ·
    • Flag
    I am bias in this. I was just at a meeting last Monday with someone that had no symptoms of covid until Thursday. People are walking around A symtomatic. If you leave your house you are taking a risk, if you go to an event/meeting you are taking a risk. I took a risk sat 3 feet away from a friend and look where it got me. Quarantined for two weeks and had to go get tested. Doctors wouldn't send you to go get tested if it was too soon. I was told 48 hours and it will be in your system 6 days you should be showing symptoms. Rapid test cant be done if your not showing signs it will give you a false negative it needs to go to lab. Post a generic disclaimer about covid and be done with it. Most high risk people wont come they will see you later with less people.

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