Christina
Devoted July 2020

covid ceremony... sister in law mad

Christina, on May 9, 2020 at 12:17 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14
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It hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since I made the announcement that we are postponing to next year. Me and future husband are still
Legally getting married on our date and planned on having less then 10 ppl at ceremony. My parents his parents and his brother and my sister in law. Now my sister in law sends me a text... not even saying sorry about the wedding but asking me for a headcount of the ceremony. Then proceeds is saying how she’s concerned about health. Then goes on and say a wedding is just a party...I nicely say she dosent have to come 🤷🏽‍♀️ Do you sis. I’m very angry because whatever she can do what she wants but to not even get a caring text and to jump to HERSELF saddens me.

I don’t know what to say back to her. I have done nothing to this girl. Thoughts ?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Anna, on May 12, 2020 at 11:34 AM
  • Amazing Planning
    Dedicated June 2016
    Amazing Planning ·
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    To remind yourself tenor.gif

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  • Morgan
    Devoted December 2020
    Morgan ·
    • Flag
    Just ignore her😊 If she wants to come, she’ll come. I wouldn’t be begging anyone or trying to convince them to come to my special day
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t say anything to her except what you already did; here’s when it is if you want to come. It irritates me so bad when people say a wedding is a party. We all know it’s so much more special than that.


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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    Agree with pp’s. Neither of my SILs came to our tiny ceremony the other day and we didn’t even care. This day is about you two and she can complain all she wants!!
    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I'd cut her some slack. People are freaked out right now, and maybe she really is scared. She can come if she wants, stay home if she'd rather do that. She didn't have to try to diminish your wedding though, and I agree that she should have been more supportive. Like, "oh my gosh I am so sorry you had to postpone your wedding! I would love to be there, but I just don't feel it is safe for me at this time. I can't wait to celebrate with you next year!" would have been more appropriate.

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  • kahlcara
    Master August 2013
    kahlcara ·
    • Flag

    I think there's a lot of anxiety about everything right now and it's very easy to create the wrong tone with text. I'd suggest trying to assume good intent and that she's concerned about health issues either for herself or other family members and go from there. I have to say, if one of my siblings was inviting my parents or other older relatives to their wedding right now in the middle of everything, I would be pissed and would likely say so. My dad is "high risk" as is my grandmother and I would not want to put them in the position of having to risk their health or not attend their child's wedding. I completely understand not wanting to delay your marriage in these times, but you have to realize there's a risk there, if not for you, for others.

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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    I would just say you’d love family to be there but you understand if anyone feels like they can’t attend because of health concerns right now. She probably just feeling upset she can’t be at the wedding and is projecting those feelings a bit. The most important thing is getting married and it sounds like that’s still possible with some of your close family in attendance.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    What is the current date? If it’s anything in May or June this is very fair (not even allowed in many states).
    • Reply
  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
    • Flag
    I’m also doing the same ie having a small ceremony this year and ‘big’ wedding next year. However, to make sure no one would complain, I just invited the parents to the ceremony...not even our bridal party lol. My MOH was pushing to come but it wouldn’t be fair since my own siblings won’t be there to witness our union.
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Devoted July 2020
    Christina ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    So you didn’t invite sibilings at all ? Just parents ? That helps to put in perspective. We were going to go do parents and sibs. Would still be less then 10. But after her comment might just do parents. I’m more so upset that she didn’t say sorry... It literally happened and we said we would do a small ceremony and she kind of jump the gun
    • Reply
  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I didn’t want to invite siblings because my two sisters live abroad and won’t be able to make it. I’m still considering having my bridal party and my siblings view on zoom. It’s also rude that she said it’s just a party. It’s a celebration of a unity and also in a sense a family reunion. How often do most people get to see extended family besides funerals?
    • Reply
  • Pia
    Super May 2021
    Pia ·
    • Flag
    Christina misery loves company. Simply say you both are also concerned however based on government guideline 10 people are the general consensus. You understand how she feels and respects it however the decision was made by both you and FH and you both understand if she feels uneasy to attend . End of story. Always comeback politely and be the bigger person if she gets ornery have your fiancé deal with her. My suggestion. Keep up good spirits
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    If she brings it up again, tell her it is really the parents and brother you cared about, but of course you invited SIL to be polite. But since she does not appreciate politeness or your good intentions, she can be somewhere else, and you won't mind at all.
    The woman has the sensitivity of a rock. This is still such a shock to you. I am sorry first your bridesmaids now SIL are giving you a hard time over whether or not you will cancel, and now with your alternate plan. Asking you , when it is really clear all they are worried about is themselves. Maybe, in the end, you will have exactly the right family with you. She is no loss. But the best part, your marriage, can start. And maybe by this time next year you can have a nice celebration with friends. Best wishes.


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  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    tenor.gif


    Don't need that negativity!

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