covid ceremony... sister in law mad

To remind yourself

Just ignore her😊 If she wants to come, she’ll come. I wouldn’t be begging anyone or trying to convince them to come to my special day

I wouldn’t say anything to her except what you already did; here’s when it is if you want to come. It irritates me so bad when people say a wedding is a party. We all know it’s so much more special than that.

Agree with pp’s. Neither of my SILs came to our tiny ceremony the other day and we didn’t even care. This day is about you two and she can complain all she wants!!

I'd cut her some slack. People are freaked out right now, and maybe she really is scared. She can come if she wants, stay home if she'd rather do that. She didn't have to try to diminish your wedding though, and I agree that she should have been more supportive. Like, "oh my gosh I am so sorry you had to postpone your wedding! I would love to be there, but I just don't feel it is safe for me at this time. I can't wait to celebrate with you next year!" would have been more appropriate.

I think there's a lot of anxiety about everything right now and it's very easy to create the wrong tone with text. I'd suggest trying to assume good intent and that she's concerned about health issues either for herself or other family members and go from there. I have to say, if one of my siblings was inviting my parents or other older relatives to their wedding right now in the middle of everything, I would be pissed and would likely say so. My dad is "high risk" as is my grandmother and I would not want to put them in the position of having to risk their health or not attend their child's wedding. I completely understand not wanting to delay your marriage in these times, but you have to realize there's a risk there, if not for you, for others.

I would just say you’d love family to be there but you understand if anyone feels like they can’t attend because of health concerns right now. She probably just feeling upset she can’t be at the wedding and is projecting those feelings a bit. The most important thing is getting married and it sounds like that’s still possible with some of your close family in attendance.

What is the current date? If it’s anything in May or June this is very fair (not even allowed in many states).

I’m also doing the same ie having a small ceremony this year and ‘big’ wedding next year. However, to make sure no one would complain, I just invited the parents to the ceremony...not even our bridal party lol. My MOH was pushing to come but it wouldn’t be fair since my own siblings won’t be there to witness our union.

View Quoted Comment So you didn’t invite sibilings at all ? Just parents ? That helps to put in perspective. We were going to go do parents and sibs. Would still be less then 10. But after her comment might just do parents. I’m more so upset that she didn’t say sorry... It literally happened and we said we would do a small ceremony and she kind of jump the gun

View Quoted Comment I didn’t want to invite siblings because my two sisters live abroad and won’t be able to make it. I’m still considering having my bridal party and my siblings view on zoom. It’s also rude that she said it’s just a party. It’s a celebration of a unity and also in a sense a family reunion. How often do most people get to see extended family besides funerals?

Christina misery loves company. Simply say you both are also concerned however based on government guideline 10 people are the general consensus. You understand how she feels and respects it however the decision was made by both you and FH and you both understand if she feels uneasy to attend . End of story. Always comeback politely and be the bigger person if she gets ornery have your fiancé deal with her. My suggestion. Keep up good spirits

If she brings it up again, tell her it is really the parents and brother you cared about, but of course you invited SIL to be polite. But since she does not appreciate politeness or your good intentions, she can be somewhere else, and you won't mind at all.
The woman has the sensitivity of a rock. This is still such a shock to you. I am sorry first your bridesmaids now SIL are giving you a hard time over whether or not you will cancel, and now with your alternate plan. Asking you , when it is really clear all they are worried about is themselves. Maybe, in the end, you will have exactly the right family with you. She is no loss. But the best part, your marriage, can start. And maybe by this time next year you can have a nice celebration with friends. Best wishes.

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Don't need that negativity!