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Rachel
Super June 2022

covid blues/depression - no motivation to keep planning

Rachel, on January 4, 2021 at 6:19 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 18
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Hi, everyone -


I must admit that my excitement for our June 2022 wedding has sort of taken a nosedive. On the one hand, I’m optimistic for 2022, but I’m also a little bit sad about it because I don’t know if things will be okay by then. I can just hope for the best and prepare for the worst, I suppose, but it’s becoming harder and harder to do that lately. It also doesn’t help that news broke today of tighter restrictions in the UK and I have every intention of inviting some of my UK family for our wedding and I really want them to be able to attend. I recognize that my wedding is over a year away and a lot can happen between now and then, but I’m struggling to keep afloat and keep my positivity going. I’ve sort of put the remaining planning on the back burner and taken a break as there’s only a few small things left to do, but I find no motivation to get back to it. Even the excited things like picking my jewelry, shoes, etc. has fallen to the wayside and I don’t have any interest anymore. My fiancé and I are just a little tired of everything going on with Covid, etc. and we are trying to keep away from the news, but it’s been tough. We are becoming bored with our routines (or lack thereof) since this whole thing started and it’s just a bummer. Has anyone else felt this way?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Jacquelene, on February 16, 2021 at 3:06 PM
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Daughter's wedding was almost two years ago, so well before Covid. They were engaged for ~18 months. In the first 6-7 months she took care of all the vendors, ordered and received her dress, and pretty much had everything done except the small, "last minute" kinds of things. She ended up basically taking a break from wedding planning for about 8-9 months. She had time to put into other projects, focus more on work, summer vacations, etc. She just enjoyed the planning break, and was then excited and ready to go again for the last 3.5 months when she handled all the final details and last minute stuff.... It worked out great! She had plenty of time to get super excited again before the wedding.

    Regardless of wedding planning, I think it's really understandable that you are exhausted and discouraged by Covid -- especially in CA, things are really rough right now. At the same time, your wedding is still almost 17 months away (like I said, that's about the total amount of time of daughter & SIL's entire engagement, and she still had about 9 months with little wedding planning to do). From what I've read, the current hope is that things in the US might start to "normalize" (whatever that means...) by early fall. At that point, you'll still have 6-9 months. Based on your posts, it seems like you've been a very excited and motivated planner, but once you have most stuff done, it's normal to take a break and focus on other things for a while. Every minute of a long engagement isn't going to be filled with intense wedding planning.... Smiley winking Good luck to you! Smiley heart

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  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    I can tell you that even pre-COVID, excitement about planning will ebb and flow for most people, especially those with longer engagements. Wedding planning burnout is also a very real thing, and you don't want to be so busy planning that you forget to enjoy your engagement. Add the stress of COVID, and, well, your situation is totally understandable!

    I got engaged August of 2018 and almost immediately set a date for October 2020. We got a ton of stuff done by the end of 2018 and I was able to take a nice long break and work on things here and there. About a year out, I started up again with booking my florist and hair/makeup.

    When news about COVID came out in February, I had just sent out our save the dates and was looking forward to really getting into the details. But I was honestly so stressed and overwhelmed and uncertain that I just.. stopped planning until June/July, when we made our decision to downsize. Then it was a whirlwind of trying to communicate that decision and make our gathering as safe as possible.

    No one knows what the future holds or what other pandemics we may have in our future, but I think that time is on your side and that 2022 will look very different (in a good way!).

    Are you and your fiancé doing date nights at home or anything like that? DH and I started doing at-home movie nights every Friday where we order takeout and pick a movie to stream - we alternate who picks the food/movie each week. We started this in the summer and it's given us something fun to look forward to! We also try to get out to the park every weekend; the world doesn't seem as gloomy when you're out in nature.

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  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
    • Flag

    This has totally happened to me, I have found myself feeling completely lost during covid and definitely unmotivated about my wedding. I tried everything, but the only thing that snapped me out of it was human interaction. My fiance and I went to stay with my parents and siblings for a little while, and I came out a literally different person. They were in a bubble with my aunt's family next door, so I went from being able to see 1 person (my fiance) to being able to see 9. Remember that your mental health matters a lot. Since I left their house, I have socialized more--always following the rules, always safely, but definitely with others.

    My fiance also took a break from planning and went on drives to see beautiful parts of our area and to see Christmas lights around the holidays. Just leaving our apartments was such a relief, it took our minds off of everything.

    • Reply
  • Belle
    Rockstar August 2022
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    Ditto op. My excited isn’t as pre covid. However, I keep doing the plan. Collecting songs, making decoration, finding things what I could add to the wedding to make it special, and since we do honeymoon right after, I make a list where to go, what to eat, what to pack, which hotel to stay, etc 🥂
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  • Belle
    Rockstar August 2022
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    covid blues/depression -  no motivation to keep planning 1Make a list, keep adding details!

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    What you're describing sounds like the completely normal and common reaction to ~9 months of ongoing stress and uncertainly (with no end in sight). I would try not to connect those feelings to your wedding because they are separate things. It's OK to feel down, low energy, sad, etc. We are in a global pandemic and positivity isn't a realistic way to feel 100% of the time.

    • Reply
  • JM Sunshine
    August 2020
    JM Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    By mid -2022 everyone should be vaccinated by then and things pretty much back to normal. I think part of it, too, is that you are already planned out, which is great, but now there's not a whole lot left to do but wait until a month or two for the last minute things. You already have your dress, veil, venue, cake/cupcake flavors, photographer, DJ, florist, save the dates, etc. but have a year and a half to go when that is when most brides are just getting started with the process.
    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PPs. You started planning really early on, and now there’s not much left to do. I think taking a break from planning for the next year would be a good idea, because 1. there’s not really much left for you to plan at this point and
    2. if you continue looking at things nonstop from now until mid-2022, you are going to change your mind on things a million times; which will leave you either unhappy, or wasting a ton of money replanning and repurchasing items multiple times.
    I think it is also waaaaaay too early to worry about covid restrictions a year and a half from now. Take this time to focus on your relationship and enjoy the short time you get to be a fiancé! You can also focus on things like saving money, cleaning up your eating or upping your fitness to stay healthy and maintain your weight, or do something like teeth bleaching or start a great skincare routine to look your best when your day rolls around 🙂
    • Reply
  • Cassi
    Devoted July 2022
    Cassi ·
    • Flag
    Aww I’m sorry you feel so down! I am also a 2022 bride-July-you’re right a lot can happen between then and now so try and keep h tho e faith. I’ve considered a bride box subscription to help bring my spirits up but I know everyone’s different. Just stay focused on the things that are absolutely in your control. Everything will work itself out for your day🙏🏽Good luck!♥️
    • Reply
  • Junine
    Savvy July 2021
    Junine ·
    • Flag
    YESSSS........I’m no longer excited,
    • Reply
  • Junine
    Savvy July 2021
    Junine ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Hello, I’m so unmotivated and not excited anymore. My wedding is in July 2021 and My venue says 8 to 10 weeks out should know whether we have to cut down from 100 guests but how do I keep planning with the unknown at this point I don’t even know when or if to send out the Invitations? I think you will be fine since it’s 2022 wedding but with mines being in 7 months I just don’t know
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring Online ·
    • Flag
    Yes, COVID has been such a bummer on everyone.
    • Reply
  • Cassi
    Devoted July 2022
    Cassi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I misread your post. I thought your post said 2022. I’m sorry! Maybe at the worst you’ll have to do is switch your date-I wish you all of the luck🙏🏽🙌🏽 I hope everything will work out for you I would be worried too 😢 things may pan out at the last minute. Covid has robbed us of so much already don’t let it get you too down and try and look at any positive angle you can find♥️
    • Reply
  • Sweetness
    Devoted March 2023
    Sweetness ·
    • Flag
    I definitely had planner burn out twice. The first time, I'd gone crazy trying to find the ideal engagement ring for FH. I had spent so many days looking at rings, that my mind was creating them when I went to bed! 😂🙈


    The second time I lost the plot over colour schemes, cos I just couldn't decide. Then I got stressed with trying to create something that wasn't in keeping with us as a couple. I blame Pinterest. 😂
    But I will echo what Chrysta said. You fall apart when you stop prioritising yourself. Focus on self care and rediscover who you are outside of wedding planning. You are allowed to take a break. Come back to it when you feel like yourself again.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I am sorry you are feeling this way. I would try to remain optimistic. With vaccines finally rolling out, I think our country/world will be in a very different state come summer of 2022. I think stepping back from planning for a while is a wise choice. You did start planning a little early, so you probably only have small details left to plan. Once anyone gets to this point, it becomes slightly less exciting than the major stuff. I would pick back up at the end of 2021 or beginning of 2022 with a fresh, positive outlook.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Super June 2022
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you to everyone who has left such kind and encouraging comments! It has really gone a long way for me. I think you’re all right, the major planning is pretty much set and done with, so I’m going through a bit of a lull period at the moment and when combined with the current Covid/political climate, it was bringing me down for a bit. I guess that’s the catch 22 of planning early, you’re left with a lot of planning “gaps” in between. I’m sure I would have chosen a sooner date if Covid wasn’t a factor, but it is what it is. Thank you again! ❤️❤️❤️
    • Reply
  • Rochelle
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Rochelle ·
    • Flag

    Hi Girls!

    Our wedding was moved from April 2020 to June 2021, due to these crazy & uncertain COVID-19 times. I was incredibly stressed with planning! When my sisters saw my frustration, they decided to make a present for me, and bought me 9-month susbscription to MissToMrs Boxes!

    Really I’ve been a little down with brainstorming for my wedding because of pandemic but receiving my MissToMrs box gave me some hope that everything will be ok!As COVID affecting a lot of engagement celebrations, it’s nice to have a little box of fun bridal stuff come to remind me that I am a bride! It is so much exciting to open my box!

    Everyday I use my new planner, countdown calendar, jewelry wipes!

    It's really a cute staff to celebrate the engagement and make the next steps in wedding planning!

    covid blues/depression -  no motivation to keep planning 2



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  • Jacquelene
    Dedicated October 2021
    Jacquelene ·
    • Flag

    We got engaged June 2019 for our October 2021 wedding. We booked our venue, DJ, photographer and videographer before 2019 was over. My dress and veil were chosen a year ago yesterday! We booked our florist and baker last May and July, respectively. Our room blocks were also reserved last summer. That's how "on it" we've been.

    We were originally looking at 150-175 people, including a lot of out of town guests, and now that's not a possibility due to COVID. Our venue will NOW only accommodate 85 people (with the current COVID restrictions). Ok fine. The salesperson we booked with has LEFT the company and we're not feeling the person we now have. On top of that, she's not even bothering to change the number of people to 85; she wants us to pay the for the 155 people we originally estimated even IF we cannot HAVE 155. It's totally blown the wind out of my planning sails, and I LOVE TO PLAN.

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