Cousin's wedding date - Update

I don't really want to confront her about the date. She can get married when she wants. What I do want to know is if this is going to effect my aunt's plans to attend my wedding. I really want her to come. I know it means a lot to my mom to have her sister's there. I am evening helping pay for my other aunt's hotel reservation to help her attend my wedding so they can all be there.

Should I contact my aunt or would that be weird?

I would let it go for now, you have plenty of time.

You have no control over any of this. Plan your wedding, have fun, let it go. No use fretting about something you can do nothing about.

ETA: If you can help your aunt attend, that IS within your control so do it if you can but try not to push. It's going to be a sensitive topic with everyone for sure.

Ughhhh I would be pissed!!

I may be in the minority but unless I have to travel, I don't mind being in a wedding two weeks before my own.. I was in one 9-6 and then ours was 9-20. DH and I were both in the first one and they traveled to ours on 9-20. I wasn't offended at all! Now maybe with a dw but it wouldn't offend me. Like the OP said She can get married when she wants.

I'm also in the minority. We had our date tentatively set before we were engaged..After he proposed I called venues and found that our 2nd choice was available. Otherwise we would've changed our date. We didn't announce it until we had the venue booked.

One small good thing: if your cousins is before yours, I would think her mom could attend yours because her own daughters wedding is over. If it was 2 weeks after yours, then your aunt may be too caught up to attend yours.

Just trying out give you something positive to cling to! That's really crappy of your cousin

This seems to happen alot on here, I would be hurt, but let it go... Its going to be one of the best days of your life, and by the time that it is here, once her wedding is over, it won't matter anymore, cuz your up next! Try to just let it go for now and let things fall into place.

@A&J Good point. It might not effect her ability to come to my wedding at all. She might see mine as a nice chance to have that vacation and destress afterwards.

And honestly, another reason that I am sad is that I won't be able to attend her wedding. I would simply have too much to worry about with my own. There is just no way it would be possible.

They do it so they can say "we got married before you" that kind of stuff bothers me

So I decided to call my mom and get her feedback. She said I shouldn't worry. She was visiting with my grandparents last weekend and they said they won't be going to my cousins wedding if it remains on that date because it is inconsiderate. And my mom said my aunt still plans to come as well. I guess she is currently upset at her daughter and aren't really on speaking terms.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- everyone will decide what they like best, but why not have a double wedding? if you're family and the guests list are similar, let alone 2 weeks apart, seems like a good idea to me.

if the dates are so close, sounds like there's going to be competition anyway. having it the same day may actually manage to tone some down in some ways vs people deciding which to go to or possibly focus more resources on.

I have a feeling this is going to resolve itself. Glad your mom was able to give you a heads up

I feel like stitchingbride is trying to troll me or something. Seriously? She may be my cousin, but the guest list will be almost completely dissimilar except a few family members. My wedding is already planned, all my vendors booked and my save the dates sent out. Plus who wants to share their big day? Not me.

That's good news! You can always get your invites out on the early side, as well.

Haha it does sound like a sincere suggestion but yeah... Who would want to share their wedding day?! And the guest lists will be mostly different. Anyway I am glad that your family is supporting you, and maybe your cousin's date will end up changing.

Hahahaha, I'm with Jennifer on that one. I know it used to be common, but there's no way I could do it.

I think that its a pretty messed up thing to do but.. maybe she is wrapped up in the wedding/ enaggement excitement and its clouded her vision? Maybe she will change th date if vendors are unavailable or something? I wish there was something more i could say other than i am sorry!

It will all work out the wy its supposed to. and i second the comment about it not being you for a double wedding. It may sound spoiled but its mine and FH's day!

I'm sorry Jennifer. That is frustrating and you are being incredibly gracious. Sorry StitchingBride, but a double wedding is a ridiculous idea. I'm just hoping that she's totally clueless. I'm also hoping that the rest of the family talks some sense into her.

That is so rude in my opinion. Just out of respect and common courtesy, she should have made her date a little more spaced out than just two weeks from yours.

She can pick a date, but she has to find vendors and venues available on that date. We picked our date based on venue availability for both ceremony and reception and booked 18 months out. I wish her luck with this. It is very flaky and rude to do this.