Cousin’s son

I would say stick to your guns. She should have inquired as to whether or not she could bring her son.

My opinion kids are 10 and below 15 is a age where they wont cry in the middle of your ceremony or run around the reception. But that's my opinion

If you make an exception for one, be prepared to let other people bring their children too.

He doesnt need to be there and its sooo annoying people cant go anywhere without their kids. Im sorry but she can leave her 137 month old child at home or not go IMO

I am having no kids with exceptions #1 If it is an ot guest. However my first reaction is to say stick your gut. But in this case the child is 15 years old. He is in the akward years too old for a sitter. But yet not an adult. Honestly it comes down to how extremely close your are with your cousin? If you are willing to bend the rule for her son. You also made a valid point you are beating yourself up about the situation. And your teenage cousin might not want to come at all.

I had no kids, no apologies. My husband did have a cousin who had an older son like 17 or 18. When I found out the age I said well he’s grown so it would be fine for him to come, BUT he (the cousin) said he was a little **** and he didn’t even want to bring him lol. It’s up to you. But “no kids” doesn’t have a standard age that I’m aware of. However, kids or no kids, with a cut line of any age, you didn’t invite this person period. It’s rude of her to assume he can come.

Stick to your guns and move on. Don’t keep thinking about it. You have enough to worry about if you’re this close.

If you let this kid come, be prepared for other guests whose kids weren’t invited to be very annoyed when they see him.

View Quoted Comment This exactly.

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Actually "no kids" does have any age. It's 18, when they become a legal adult, AKA no longer a kid. If one person is allowed to bring their 15 year old then why can't another bring their 14 year old? If the 14 year old comes, why can't the 13 year old come? A 12 year old is the same as a 13 year old, so they can come too, right? Then you suddenly have every age that is almost the same as the one before, and where do you cut it off? You cut it off at 18, the age of a legal adult, then it's "no kids".

I would stick to my guns. If you make an exception out of guilt, you're going to get backlash from guests who have children whether toddler or teen whose children weren't invited. Your cousin created a breach of etiquette by bringing the teen without your consent and without discussion. Besides, why should you feel guilty when she made the faux pas?

I had the EXACT situation. My cousin got his invite and called me up to say he already told his daughter she could come. As guilty as I felt I told him she can't, no exceptions. You have to stick to your guns because if you allow one then you have to allow them all (outside of the etiquette grouping). Ex: if I said yes to cousin then his sister would bring her kids, word spreads to my brother with his kids, word spreads to his friend with his kid.... If you say no it's "why can he bring them and I can't?" Stand firm.

Thank you guys for all your input! I'm going to stick with not inviting him, because yes, you can't pick and choose kids. Plus, I slept on it and I am feeling a lot better!!

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This exactly times two. When I was 15 I had a part time job and was babysitting. He can stay home alone and if it is an overnight thing, well we are sorry to miss you , let's catch up after the wedding.

Please don't feel guilty - your cousin committed the breach of etiquette, not you.