Cousin added children to the response

To be honest, even if you are closer to one cousins children it isn't fair to invite theirs and not the others, especially if said cousins are related.

Edit:

Also if the cousins that added their children in are related to the cousins who's children you invited, they may know those children are invited and figured theirs are as well.

We hired a babysitter for the reception, because the venue has a kids club daycare center on hand

My cousin did the same (but I expected it.) If you are having other children there, I'd just let it slide.

Sucks but I'd just let them know.

I agree with Heather. Plus, if you make this one exception be prepared for backlash. You can't allow one cousin to bring their children and not your other cousins. Someone is bound to be offended. Be prepared to either invite all their children or none at all.

All or none.

I would say if you have people that declined and have room just let it go. if anyone says anything to you, just say, "honestly, they weren't invited". Then people will know that they added them themselves.

Thanks all- I should add I am a first time bride at 51 so most of my cousins have adult children. The cousin's children that I invited are over 21 and the children who were added are 11 and 15. The only children that I had invited were my nieces and nephew, my fiancé's children and my best friend's daughter who I am very close to.

I dont know why this is so difficult for people. Call or email them telling them that its an adukt only event and children are not invited. If they say they dont have a sitter, respond with, that you understand that they can't attend.

I agree with Lilly! This is your day and you have the right to have and not have whom ever you want! You shouldn't feel bad about that.

I say let it go. People are gonna get hurt feelings over everything in a wedding. People need to get a grip - not everyone is a VIP guest. We stated 21 years and older on our save the dates, I told 2 uncles that thier 16, 18 and 20 year old kids are totally welcome - I don't care how many people are pissed about it.

This is your day people need to respect the couple getting married.... That's why I clearly printed on save the dates Adult only reception.... Good luck

Yes you should not feel bad. It would not be fair if you let their children come and no others. I am also having an adults only wedding. Ony child allowed is our flower girl. I would politely say due to the added expenses of everythng we cannot include children at the wedding. They should respect that and if they dont oh well.

I know you said that your one cousin's kids are like your own, but maybe this cousin doesn't understand that per say. It's kinda hard to let some kids come and not others.

Honestly, when I did our guest list, I made it ridiculous on purpose. Hear me out.

If they had kids, I accounted for their kids in the guest list, too.

However, I'm only addressing invitations to the parent's. Most people, like you noticed with your other guest, get the hint that if the whole family isn't listed (including kids) on the invitation, then that means the kids are not invited.

I accounted for the kids JUST INCASE someone asked (and we happened to have space), or if they actually brought their kids without telling me they were going to. That way you don't get yourself too thrown off with the numbers.

As far as your dilemma, I agree with others. I don't think it's fair for you to allow on cousin's set of kids, and not another's. It needs to consistent and fair across the board.

As far as what to do, I would try to have a very sensitive convo with this cousin, and try to explain your position to her. She should understand the problem it could cause for you.

Thanks- I do get everyone's point in all or none- in my family this is how we usually do this. This instance, however, there is more than meets the eye to these invitations and very personal reasons. If I were to invite all my cousins children and in some cases spouses- it would add up to an additional 100 people. I have a very very big family and my fiancé's is even bigger. To me when the invitation doesn't include and guest or in this instance and family- a phone call should be made to the bride or groom depending on the side and ask.

The cousin's kids you invited aren't even kids! You have nothing to feel bad about. Call your cousin and explain. It will be awkward but you can do it

It's no one's business why I invited Aunt Jean's kids and didn't invite Uncle Rob's kids. That's the deal. Kids or no kids, if they're not invited they're not invited. I don't see why anyone would be obliged to invite everyone's kids just because some specific children were invited. Kids should be addressed as any other guest. They're invited because you want them there not as a default. I'd let them know ASAP s they can make arrangements and perhaps even recall their acceptance of your invite so long as you're ok with it.

All or none, and adding people who weren't invited isn't acceptable no matter how close you are to the hosts.

I don't think you should have to defend why you didn't invite these folks' kids to your wedding. Your invitation wasn't unclear; they added their kids anyway. Just call them up and say, "Hi, So-and-So, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The invitation was for you and Spouse only, not for your whole family. We understand if this changes your plans, but we wanted to clear things up."