Courthouse Wedding?

Why hide it from your family?

And your wedding day regardless where you make it at is your wedding day!

For me a courthouse is very different from a church wedding... but it might not mean the same to you. I am Catholic and for me my beliefs as a Christian are important and I feel I must be married in the Church, now for some that doesn't mean anything to them, so a courthouse will do. It depends on whats important to you, but neither is wrong. Courthouse weddings tend to be very informal. You can practically wear anything. I don't think brides wear traditional gowns but they do wear cute casual dresses. I hope that helps. As far as hiding a marriage... I have no advice. Sorry, I don't think you should, however, I wish you a long and beautiful marriage!

My family is abusive, and it will end badly if they know I get married without them. Since they are abusive, I don't want them at my wedding, they would only ruin it. If they hear I had one without them, they would permanently disown me.

I initially wanted a big wedding, but knowing I have to pay for anything on my own, I can't afford what I want.

Thanks for your advice and opinions (:

Im sorry Rachel. I hate that you can't experience your big day the way you want too. You can always do a second wedding in a church or however you envision your dream wedding. It isn't about how fancy, but how special your vows are to each other. You don't have to marry in a courthouse... you could do it at a park or beach (free any public place), hire an officiant (around 50.00), you can get an inexpensive wedding gown at places like davids bridal or even Ebay! Afterwards go to dinner with your family and friends who attend if you can't afford a reception. There are a lot of things you can do really cheap if you want to have a little wedding.

Thanks for the ideas. I never thought about hiring an officiant before. We have been trying to decide what to do after the wedding, and I'm pretty sure we decided to go with lunch (or dinner) afterwards.

I saw a beautiful courthouse wedding recently. The bride wore a beautiful knee length white dress and birdcage veil, and the groom wore a nice suit. Afterward they had a small, nicely decorated cake. Their families were not there but somehow they arranged to have a friend there eho played the cello for them. They made it very special and romantic. Wherever you choose to do it just use your creativity and make it as special as you desire. If the weather is nice, maybe you can have a gathering in the park as your reception. That way you can decorate and have music, refreshments, etc.

My friend had a courthouse wedding and we still found her a formal ivory gown to wear. and her husband wore a button up, dress pants, and a tie. we took pictures during the ceremony and afterwards we all had a little reception dinner at home! it was nice and quaint. it will be perfect with the right people!

Originally I was doing the while big wedding thing, until I lost my job and had to deal with stress and other WR stressors; we decided to have a destination wedding at city hall in the Netherlands where FH is from. I am wearing all of my items that I would have worn for the ceremony. You can wear whatever. I have seen a few pics of my friends that got married at the courthouse-some wore regular clothes, some wore a nice suit or dress! It is up to you!

You don't have to have it in the courthouse; you can have it anywhere, though in terms of officiant costs, the courthouse will almost always be cheaper. You can wear whatever you want, carry flowers, have a photographer even. Lots of our 'elopement' ceremonies are almost like 'big' weddings, without the guests.

As for hiding it, well........you have your own reasons, but I never think this is a good idea unless you're planning to lie to them for the rest of your life. If you have no contact with them, that might be fine, but if not, I can tell you it's not worth it if you have to see them and keep it a secret. It's virtually impossible.

In many states, marriages are public records that are published in the newspapers.

I know you didn't particularly ask for advice, and you can absolutely ignore this, but it might be worth thinking about why it's vital for you to be married right now. Is part of your family's pattern their disagreement with the relationship?

Thanks for all the advice and support!!

As for the issue with my family finding out, they will be living in a different state, so they will not find out unless they get their act together.

Rachel, sorry to hear that...

My Cousin is getting married Tuesday at the courthouse I made him his own Lil bout. And her a bouquet. She bought a pretty purple dress from Burlington Coat. factor because Purple is her favorite color. I bought some bubbles grime the dollar store and I'm going to take pictures with my digital camera. My aunt, His mom order a small cake and we are going to go bake to her house and have a them cut the cake! I didn't know what to get them so I'm bring them special toasting glasses with there names on them.

My cousins FG doesn't have any family so that is why they are doing the court house she was worried what people would think when no one would be there on her side... They are planning a renewal in a year

I agree with Celia...I think you have other options than just a courthouse wedding. You are able to hire a officiant to conduct the ceremony where you would like and the cost would be close to the same. Or venue offers a package called 'instead of the courthouse, which includes a minister. You may check into venues nearby you to see if they offer anything similar.

Also, I wish there was a way that you could tell your family without their judgement or abuse. I am sorry you are in that type of a situation, and I wish you the very best!

Thanks for the comments, you guys really gave me some stuff to consider