Courthouse Wedding - How do you tell your family?

Just be honest, tell them the reasons why you're having a courthouse wedding.
Don't know if there is a kind/nice way to break the news but in this situation: being upfront is better than white-lying.
Other alternatives: you can host an intimate event with, say, 30 guests... only the parents, or in-between and having a party later with extended families.You can also have a less expensive reception: cocktails and appetizers/hors d'œuvres only, pizzas or BBQ. You can skip booze. The only requirement when you have a reception is to provide enough tables, chairs, food and drinks.

You could say something like "Happy New Year! We hope this message finds you happy and healthy. FS and I wanted to let everyone know that we are engaged and planning to get married in the next few weeks. After a stressful/chaotic/eventful (just adding this in case you want to acknowledge the major life events you mentioned in your post) 2021, we are enjoying our engagement and actually planning to tie the knot towards the end of this month. Of course, we wanted to let you know, as we value your presence in our lives. We send our love, and we hope to see you soon. Until then, we're sending a hug through the mail / phone lines / internet!"

I actually wouldn't mention specific details about the wedding at the risk that recipients think you're inviting them to a wedding. Regarding the photographer, I *absolutely* recommend this. I actually also had a Tuesday afternoon/evening microwedding/minimony in our backyard, and I really, really cherish the professional photos that capture all the moments that I might have otherwise forgotten. ALSO, something I didn't initially think of: many "wedding" photographers have their busiest days on the weekends, so for a Tuesday, you *may* be able to negotiate that the price be more reflective of an engagement session, NOT a wedding. For us, that chopped the cost of photography in half....and then some!

Regarding ways to make it special, it really is up to you and your FS and what y'all want. For us, we had a minimony with just immediate family plus the officiant (one of my husband's best friends who became a notary to be able to legally marry us) and his wife and child. We picked up some appetizers and drinks, set them out in the kitchen, rented some chairs to put in the backyard, made a playlist (and gave a family member the remote to control the speaker), and bam! got married in the backyard. We had some Italian food delivered to the house, and 2 family members made some cakes. We had some flowers too. Overall, it was a really lovely day, and I'm so glad we opted for the photographer.

I wish you and your FS the best of luck in the planning process and in your marriage!!

Congratulations!!


Honesty is the best policy but keep it brief. A simple 'hey, we're engaged and will be getting married soon. We look forward to hosting a party this Sumner to celebrate with you"
We did an immediate family only wedding before we did the big one. We took everyone out to our favorite restaurant afterwards. We hired a photographer for 2 hrs to photograph the ceremony and posed shots afterwards. It was a few hundred dollars but worth every penny to us. I also bought a long white dress for $40 and a veil on Amazon for about $30 to have the bridal feel. I also got a bouquet from a local florist for less than $100. It's a special day that requires little extra touches.
Best wishes!!

My husband and I only told his mom ahead of time because we happened to see her. Our families knew we were engaged and we're still planning the full wedding for March 2023. But, for insurance purposes we wanted the legal part done sooner. Only our two witnesses and his mom knew before we did it. We planned to surprise my immediate family when we went and visited the following weekend and they were all so happy for us! I had concerns that my mom's feelings might be hurt but everyone in my family was nothing but supportive. We told his dad and siblings when we saw them for Christmas and their reaction was the same.

I think if you have a supportive, loving family theres no reason to worry. If you know some of them might get hurt feelings I suggest just having a really candid conversation with them ahead of time. Just call them up, announce your engagement, and then tell them the plan. If they ask why you can choose to be as honest as you please whether its for insurance purposes or whatever. Its your life, and while your family is obviously important to you, you should do what will make the best life for you and your FH.

As far as making that day special, we didnt lol. We just went out to lunch with our witnesses afterwards. I still want our wedding to feel like our wedding. In our minds the legal aspect of it was the least important part, it was just necessary. Our lives really havent changed much now that we're legally married, I just have better insurance and a different legal last name than what I currently go by.