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Just Said Yes September 2020

Courthouse Wedding and later ceremony and reception

Kristin, on June 9, 2019 at 6:42 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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My fiancé and i got engaged a few months ago and have been trying to plan a wedding and reception for about 8 months down the road. After a bunch of planning and almost sending out save the dates, we found out that the date we had thought would work, won’t work out. He is in the Navy, so it is really hard to plan because he is not guaranteed the time off. We decided to just wait until he is out of the Navy- around 20 months away. We still wanted to get married sooner than that, so just had a small courthouse wedding with our parents a couple days ago. I am just wondering what the etiquette is on having pre-wedding festivities and also having a full catholic ceremony and reception at a later date over a year and a half away. We didn’t have an engagement party (because we live across the country so it has been hard to plan) but we would like to do a combo engagement party/bridal shower type party at some point. Please let me know your thoughts.

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Formerbride, on June 9, 2019 at 7:55 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 9, 2019 at 7:07 AM
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Pre-wedding events shouldn't take place after the wedding. You're no longer engaged or a bride, so an engagement party and/or bridal shower wouldn't really work. It's also rude to plan an engagement party or shower for yourself, even before you're married. As long as you are up front with your guests about being married and letting them know that what they're attending is a vow renewal, there's nothing wrong with having a full ceremony and reception.
Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 9, 2019 at 7:39 AM
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I agree with Catelyn. The only other thing I’d do is check with your church about their rules on this. Since you’re already married, you’d be applying for a convalidation so it wouldn’t be a full wedding ceremony and some churches/priests don’t allow convalidations to be large events.
Just Said Yes September 2020
Kristin · on June 9, 2019 at 7:43 AM
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I wouldn’t be planning it for myself, but my MIL has been talking about having some sort of party like that. I fee like it might be too much so i just wanted to double check on the proper etiquette. All of our guests will be informed that we are already married.

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 9, 2019 at 7:55 AM
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Personally, I've never seen a bridal shower hosted after a legal wedding. However, if your MIL wants to do this and thinks it will be well received, go for it. If she were going to do it, I would say to keep it on the smaller side. Etiquette would dictate this is inappropriate but you know your people and situation best.