Courthouse then ceremony?

People on here will tell you that after you're married at the courthouse, the big to-do will be a "vow renewal" and not a wedding.

Personally I think you should do what makes sense for you. I would hope that your family and friends would understand your situation and not judge. I know plenty of people who have had essentially two weddings, like one is a traditional American wedding and one is a cultural wedding. People seem to think that's fine, so I think you should be able to call your celebration a wedding, too.

But I think I am in the minority here on WW. Some people do see it as gift grabby or selfish, so just be careful to explain exactly why you want to have a big wedding after you elope.

I've been on WW for two years and I've never seen anyone call it gift grabby, but it isn't a "wedding." It is absolutely a celebration and OP, if you want that big celebration, you should go for it!

We're doing something similar (courthouse ceremony and then proper wedding) and I don't see it as stupid or selfish.

There are a TON of reasons why people would go the courthouse route first. A friend did it to kickstart the citizenship process for her Dreamer husband. It doesn't make the actual wedding any less special, in my opinion!

My guy and I already own a house together and live like a married couple, so the courthouse is just checking off a box in our planning process. It allows us to do it in our home county, means we won't forget the paperwork on the day of our wedding or anything else and means we can also kickstart some insurance things. While we may tell our closest friends and family, we don't plan on celebrating it besides a nice dinner, just the two of us.

I see it like this: going to the courthouse is legally entering into our relationship with each other and the state/government. Our wedding, on the other hand, is when we commit to each other in front of our friends and family and celebrate our loving union. To us, this will be our 'true' marriage date. The courthouse is just a formality.

I'm glad that you haven't run into that, cuz it's a bummer, but I have definitely seen it.

To me, the military is a whole different planet for marriages/relationships. Unless people have experienced it, they don't understand it. If you want to elope, elope. I'd probably just tell your immediate family & friends, then host a vow renewal & reception the following year. You can still do all the same white wedding things you've ever wanted!

My best friend had to do this, and her sister did this. Both of their 'weddings' were several months after the wedding itself. It was common because of base requirements and benefits. I also had an intimate vegas-style wedding with a reception later on. In all three cases, no one really had a problem with it. We had a lot of confusion with some older groups, but as soon as they understood why, they were just happy to be involved and happy we got married.

I think you can call it a vow-renewal, or a reception, or whatever you want. Just be very clear in what the person is invited to. On our invitations we said, "Join Nikita and Michael at a reception celebrating their marriage." We then further clarified on our wedding website that the wedding would be the day before and gave a sappy/sweet reason why (wanting an intimate celebration).

I realize the reasoning for saying it's not a 'reception,' but honestly, it confused people more. We initially said a party, and they thought it would be a jeans and tee shirts BBQ type of affair!

I don't think that's a stupid idea at all! If anyone gives you a hard time just thank them for their concern and carry on

My husband and I had to do the same thing. Military relationships are quite different, and we basically had to do it just for legal reasons. We got married last week with just parents there, and our big wedding isn't until November. We've only told close family and friends. It's your wedding so I think you should just do whatever is best for you, call it whatever you want, and don't worry about what other people think.

That seems fine to me. girl you better live your life. what do they suggest you do instead? It seems like you and fiancé have thought this through and have lots of reasons for why you reached your conclusion. do you boo