Brandi
Devoted July 2020

Courthouse then Ceremony

Brandi, on January 5, 2020 at 6:13 PM Posted in Planning 0 6
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Hi all! Happy New Year! Anyone did a courthouse wedding first and then had a wedding? Like, what was your experience? Did it take the joy or happiness away once you finally had the wedding?

6 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on January 5, 2020 at 7:42 PM
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I didn’t do it but my friend did and she’s still regretting it. I guess it depends on your situation but to me it was important to get married on my wedding day.
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  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
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    Thank you! That was going to be my next question. Like, is it worth it to do both?
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  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
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    My best friend did a few months before her wedding due to some logistical stuff. The wedding was no less special.
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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    To me it was really special getting married at my ceremony. My friend did it so they could get a better mortgage and she’s still sad about it not feeling special. I had another friend who did it when her husband was getting deployed because in her words “if he dies I’ll get all his money.” I ended up not going to her ceremony because she moved and I wasn’t going to travel in the snow storm that weekend, plus we don’t talk anymore so I don’t know how she ended up feeling about it. There’s people on here who have done it or plan to so hopefully someone can be more helpful, but those have been my experiences!
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    Your wedding is the ceremony in which you get married. If that happens at the courthouse, then the wedding is the courthouse ceremony.


    Some people have a ceremony after that and call it a wedding. The problem is, you then have only two options: tell your guests, or don't. If you tell your guests, they may not make it as much of a priority to attend something that is not actually a wedding. If you don't tell your guests, and they later find out you were already married, they may feel like they were lied to.


    There are exceptional circumstances in which this can be made to work. For example, military members often have to schedule a wedding on almost no notice in order to get housing together. Or if one spouse is from abroad, they may be admitted to the country only on condition that they get married within 90 days. Under such circumstances, people understand that the couple is doing the best they can if they have a ceremony after they are already married. But unless there is a really good reason, I would just choose one or the other: a courthouse wedding or a big fancy wedding somewhere else.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    It depends on you. I met a couple in Canada getting courthouse married for immigration purposes but planned to in a year have a larger wedding to invite family from both countries. I do not mean to pry but is there a logistical reason to do the courthouse then ceremony?

    I know a friend of mine intended to but never did probably due to financial reasons. Each person has a different circumstance for the reason but it all depends on how you look. I would say if you are questioning your happiness maybe just do the one wedding.

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