Courthouse then Catholic Church?

Well congratulations, twice over! That's so exciting!
I would say do what you have to do to make pregnancy and having the baby easiest, if that's sign the papers now and do the church later than do that.
Overall some Catholic Churches will not always a non Catholic person you both would need to ask the preist in charge of the church about that. They might require Catholic based counseling beforehand if they do agree to it. Each church and each area has its own rules.

Congrats on baby. You will have to make sure this is ok with the church. There are a million rules that not all the churches fellow. It may have to be more of a renewal of vows.

I'm actually wondering the same thing. I dont know how this would work. My fiance and I are also getting married in the catholic church. I was asking him the same thing. But you will have to ask your church. You can also go to catholicanswers.com. it's a good place to ask. They always answer my questions.

Congratulations!

It might be possible but you will have to ask the catholic church & the Parrish Priest would have to do to the regional Archdiocese and make an appeal for a convalidation. Every priest is different, so your FH should ask his Parrish - and also, make sure that he asks a Priest & not a layperson... for some reason Priest are usually easier on these things, than a layperson.

He should speak to an immigration attorney and to his local priest about this. From an immigration perspective, being married doesn't mean you can automatically come to the US right away. First off, you will likely not be admitted to the US on a tourist visa if you state that you are intending to marry someone in the US, because a tourist visa requires that you leave at the end of it, and they will not believe you intend to do that. If you instead come on a tourist visa without telling them you intend to get married and yet get married while you are here, they may consider the original entry on the tourist visa to be the result of fraud, making it hard for you to get any other visa in future. Your best bet is to apply for a fiancée visa, wait until it is issued, then get married in the US within 90 days after your arrival in the US. But it typically requires 6-9 months to get a fiancée visa, so you still wouldn't be living with him until 2020. (And you will likely not even be able to visit him while the fiancée visa is pending.)

From the church's perspective, you would not be able to have a wedding in the Catholic church in 2020 if you are already married; instead you would have what is called a convalidation ceremony. Typically, those ceremonies are small affairs in the church with only a few guests, not something grand like a wedding.

Also, the Catholic church would not recognize your civil marriage. Thus, the two of you would be expected to be abstinent until the convalidation. Some priests would insist that you not live together during that period.

Your situation is complicated both legally and religiously. You really need to get some competent advice before proceeding, rather than relying on an Internet forum.

Absolutely check with the church. They will not recognize a civil ceremony and then marry you (at least in the US - it's different in some European countries where civil and religious ceremonies are required to be separate). There are no hard rules for a convalidation (blessing after the fact) some churches/priests will do it, some will not - it's really at the discretion of who you ask. I'm sorry about the complications but congratulations on the pregnancy AND the engagement!

My parents are both US citizens. My mother is Methodist, my father Catholic. They were married in the Methodist church, then when I was 5 yo they decided to send me to Catholic school, and raise me in the Catholic church. The Catholic church required them to get (re)married there. Basically a vow renewal, but as far as the Catholic church was concerned, this was their marriage date.

I think you will be fine with a courthouse marriage for purposes of immigration and the baby's citizenship, and then having another ceremony later in the Church. Just expect the church to consider the second ceremony the "real" one.

But, as others suggested, your FH may want to talk to his Pastor about it,

Congratulations to you both!

The biggest deal is getting the proper visa. Contact an immigration attorney, the process is long.

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Hi Kelly,

Thank you so much!

Our priest has already agreed to a dispensation for me to marry over there (given that I am not catholic). We are in contact with his priest very regularly - just waiting on him getting back to us about this today! (The 6 hour time difference is a real nightmare when I want to get things sorted!)

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Hi Theresa,

Thank you so much for your reply; i really appreciate your input.

I would also consider the second ceremony the 'real one'. It sounds awful, but the courthouse would just be a necessity to allow us to live in the same country. My worry is that his church would not be happy with us living together before we are actually married.

But given that this is usually to prevent unwanted pregnancies (which this is NOT, by any means), maybe this will be okay?

As I say, I'm not Catholic so I dont really know how this would be viewed

View Quoted Comment Ha! I work for a global company & absolutely understand the time difference - I believe that it’s 5 hrs now.
Good luck w/ everything!

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@2nd Bride

First off, I'm not relying on an internet forum; we have our priest involved, as well as experts in visas and immigration. Im here purely for discussion and advice. Also, as an aside, I'm not visiting in August with the intent to marry - I'm visiting on vacation with family. But if we could sort something at the same time that would be ideal. From what I understand, the circumstances of our situation would not be considered as 'Visa abuse', although this is of course at the discretion of the officer.

I understand that the church would not recognise a purely legal marriage - this is fine by me, since I would not truly consider myself married until wed in the eyes of God. However, this would enable us to live in the same country at least, which would be better for us both and the baby, even if we had to live separately. We are in discussion with our priest about this currently.

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I can't speak for all of the individual Catholic parishes, but my best friend's sister was married in ours when she was 7 months pregnant. She had a regular wedding ceremony, around 100 guests, bridesmaids, the whole 9 yards. And that was without the civil ceremony first. Since you're going to be married through a civil ceremony, I think you'll be all right. Your reasoning for taking the steps you are in the order you are is sound. I think they'll understand, too.