Courthouse before Destination Wedding?

Is the destination wedding international or stateside? You can only get the marriage license in the state you are marrying or just have a symbolic ceremony but if it is international you need to be aware of their marriage requirements and often it is easier to get officially married in your state.

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Good point - the wedding is stateside. That's what I'm thinking is doing a symbolic ceremony and getting our marriage license/going to the courthouse in the state we live. The problem is with the Holiday, I don't think we can get a marriage license in that state before the wedding.

Please don't lie to your guests who will be spending time and money traveling to your wedding. Many, many people manage to get the license in the state they are marrying so that the wedding their guests witness is the real wedding. I would do whatever you can to make that happen. But if for some reason you can't figure it out, please be up front with your guests that they will be traveling for a vow renewal. If no one will mind, there there is no reason to be secretive.

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I mean... it's still our wedding and ceremony - it's not a vow renewal a week later lol. It's literally just the paperwork. But thank you for your opinion.

Have the ceremony and then sign the license when you get back. You are not lying to your guests.

View Quoted Comment No its not your wedding. The day you got married at the courthouse would be your wedding. The later ceremony would just be symbolic...

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Well if your family member is officiating he just would not have you file the license in that state and you can let him know that. I believe that would work.

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I'd be careful here. Family may not feel like it is just the paperwork. I went to a reception of a close friend who had a friend officiate her wedding and had me witness prior to the giant ceremony. Both sides of the family were very upset, and she saw it as a non-issue because it was just the "paperwork".

I'd just be aware that others might care. Good luck!

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Yo you got married in 2016 what are you even doing here?!

I actually don't care and cannot delete this post for some reason but apparently I'll just be a big fat liar to my guests! That's fine with me

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If it's not that big a deal, why lie about it? I see you edited your post to remove the part about withholding information from your guests. I sincerely hope you decide to just be honest.

View Quoted Comment I'm here to help brides make important decisions about their weddings.


Lying is wrong IMO, especially to the people you love, but that's just how I operate. Of course it's your prerogative to lie if you want.
Best of luck.

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As I just told the other poster who also, similar to you, has been married over a year yet is active on a wedding planning website.. not weird at all... No I will not be honest I have decided to lie and be deceitful.

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Lying is great! You're missing out!

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Thanks That's my thought exactly.

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Fair enough, thank you!

View Quoted Comment Exactly. All ceremonies are symbolic anyway. If doing the paperwork and legal/civil ceremony isn’t that meaningful to you, thats fair. If making goes in front of your family and friends does have deep meaning to you, that’s the ceremony that matters. If it makes it easier, get legally married the week before your wedding. What’s important to your guests is that they get to celebrate with you and share this special moment in your life. I think it’s silly to call it a vow renewal when its really just a wedding and you consider it as such yourself.

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This. SO much this. If people are going to get so pissed off that you signed a document at the courthouse that they don't come to your wedding, I would send them some unpaid parking tickets that need to be dealt with at the courthouse as well.

View Quoted Comment Did you reach out to the state to get their specifications?