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Savvy September 2018

Court marriage before wedding

Leeann, on May 18, 2018 at 11:46 PM Posted in Planning 0 13

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So my FH and I have been thinking of just spontaneously getting married at the courts before the actual wedding day. For one we have been together almost 8 years and have been engaged for two so we are extremely excited to get married already. For two we would have to be married before the wedding anyway because my uncle can’t officially marry us since he doesn’t live in the states and it means a lot to me that he does our ceremony. We are thinking of just getting things done in a week or two because we both are going on vacation at the end of the month and just not tell anyone that we got married until afterwards. I guess I just want your thoughts on this... would you do something spontaneous like this? ... do you think it’s crazy?

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Charity, on May 21, 2018 at 8:11 PM

Master May 2017
Mrs.Whooooo · on May 19, 2018 at 12:01 AM
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Lying to people is never a good idea. Go ahead and elope, but don’t hide it. Use the ceremony where your uncle officiates as a bow renewal and be sure to call it such.
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Super May 2019
c · on May 19, 2018 at 1:19 AM
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We are doing this and I’m so glad! Some won’t agree with it but it’s a personal decision of ours and we won’t be “lying” to family because we will be honest if they ask. We are absolutely nothing wrong with it and I think it’s a way to keep something special and stress free before the big day.
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Super May 2019
c · on May 19, 2018 at 1:20 AM
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There is not we are! My bad.
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VIP July 2018
AQuixoticBride · on May 19, 2018 at 1:43 AM
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I don't see an issue with this if you do it shortly before the symbolic ceremony. There's nothing wrong with wanting a special, private ceremony, which it sounds like you would have to do anyway. But I don't think months of lying to your family and friends is okay. Just be open about your plans.
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Dedicated October 2021
Jody Wentzell · on May 19, 2018 at 9:26 AM
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We are doing the same thing. Getting married some time within the next month.
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Devoted August 2018
futuremrs · on May 19, 2018 at 9:37 AM
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Go for it!! Not crazy at all!!! If I wasn’t having a really short engagement I would be doing the same thing
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Expert July 2019
Diva Bride 2 Be · on May 19, 2018 at 11:50 AM
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I don’t see an issue wit as long as ur honest close family & bridal party if asked (mostly closer 2 wedding date) or decided inform them.
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VIP September 2018
BB-H · on May 19, 2018 at 12:12 PM
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Get married closer to the ceremony and have your uncle perform the vow renewal and be honest when people ask about it.
Or. Get married now and tell people about it with your uncle doing the vow renewal. It's unnecessary to keep this from friends and family, especially since your uncle won't be able to make it legal. Just be honest about this and everything will be fine. There's nothing to be gained by lying about it.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on May 19, 2018 at 1:48 PM
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Do what you like, but don't lie to your guests. That is really not fair. If you elope, you need to tell them it's a celebration of marriage and not a wedding.
Conversely, you could hire a legal officiant to work with your uncle so there can be a legal ceremony that day.
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Dedicated May 2018
Emily · on May 20, 2018 at 9:22 AM
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We did this! Honestly made it easier because we aren’t having to worry about the marriage license or what the officiant says during the ceremony because we’re already legally married.
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Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on May 20, 2018 at 9:49 AM
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This 100%. Do not lie to anyone, it is never a good idea to start a marriage with a lie - you WILL get mixed up and blurt it out. at some point.
People will be very understanding of the circumstances that you want your uncle to officiate what will be a vow renewal. Your invites should state that as well.
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Savvy September 2018
Leeann · on May 21, 2018 at 7:38 PM
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Thank you all for your opinions.. I might have been unclear we are not going to lie to anyone what I meant was we weren’t going to tell anyone the day we decide to do it. So that way that day it’ll be just me and him. We don’t plan on keeping it a secret from everyone I give us a couple hours after it happens to blurt it out to everyone we see lol.
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Devoted December 2021
Charity · on May 21, 2018 at 8:11 PM
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We are doing this too, some people on here told me my family would be furious at me, i told them they dont know me or my family and i want even asking for their opinion on that. We are doing it to save money and because i want my grandma to be there when i get married, shes 86, so i don't know what will happen until 2020 or my other grandma. I already wont have either of my grandpa's. If your doing it for a good reason then who cares what others think, especially others who don't know you. We are going to the courthouse this december 12th, but our wedding isnt until 12/12/20
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