Court Marriage Before the Wedding

It's up to you. We eloped in June 2018 and had our wedding celebration in April 2019. Both dates are special for us, our elopement was stress-free and just a perfect day, our wedding celebration had so much more into it: our parents, close family, and friends.

My bestfriend got legally married March of last year, 6 months before her September wedding. They did this because her parents' income (who aren't in her life) was still what FAFSA had to go by legally so she wasn't getting any financial aid when she herself made very little money. After getting married, her and her husband's incomes combined was middle class but low enough that she was able to receive some financial aid and she really needed it. Since they were already engaged, it seemed like an intelligent decision to me. The only thing I wouldn't do if that was me is celebrate the march date if september was my true wedding date but they celebrate both. We are all different and whatever works for you is the right thing to do. .

Their wedding day was not any less special for either of them, or the guests attending that knew about this / witnessed it. It was still their big day!

I’ve done this! We got engaged Nov. 17th and went to the court house to get married on Dec. 4. And are planning our wedding for Sep. 8.

I don’t feel like its taking anything away, but maybe that’s because we aren’t living together yet. Every once in a while I’ll forget that we are already married when someone asks if I’m married or filling out forms and such.😂 we are long distance and we couldn’t wait to marry each other but I told him I needed to get married in a church and I really wanted a wedding. And I knew that we wouldn’t be able to get married until after Easter. And we talked about this before having the court house wedding. We also haven’t told any of our family and friends, besides those who were with us that we already got married😂.

W e still send each other texts like “I can’t wait to marry you😍!” And “ I cant wait to see you all dressed up”

I think this is a totally personal decision. We considered it. A little after we got engaged, I quit my job to go back to school full time and lost my health insurance. We discussed getting legally married so I could be added to his health insurance, as I didn't qualify for Medicaid and the marketplace was too expensive. We opted not to. We struggled with if we tell people, and if so, would our wedding technically be a wedding or is it then a vow renewal? And if we don't tell people, are we decieving everyone? For us, it just didn't feel right to do it that way. We wanted our legal marriage to be witnessed by all our friends and family, so it wasn't the right choice for us. I absolutely understand the utility of getting married before the big shebang, so if you and your fiance feel like this is a good decision for you, I say go for it.

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That's awesome! And none of your family members cared that you were already married?

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That's so sweet! Thank you!

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I've had the exact same thought. I wouldn't necessarily want to let people know, but I also wouldn't want to lie about it. Thank you!

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Not at all. They were happy for our union and that's what really mattered.

We got married on Valentines Day & our wedding ceremony & reception is July 6th. We did it for personal reasons, but we can celebrate both anniversaries. Lol! His birthday is Feb. 13th & V-Day is the 14th & the day we said, I DO. July 6th will be very special as well but if I had to choose one to celebrate it would be the day we said I DO. I think anyone that planned on being there in the first place is going to be there for the one for family & friends.

The only reason I can think of not to do it is if you are religious and want a religious ceremony. In many religions, once you have a civic wedding, you can't do a full-blown ceremony - only a blessing or renewal of vows. But if you're not set on a religion-based celebration, you should be fine.

My fiance and I talked about doing a civil ceremony to get the legal benefits of marriage a little sooner, but ultimately decided against it because I wanted my dream wedding in my church, which would have been out of the question if we were already married.

If you need to do it for legal reasons, do so. However, I would not tell anyone. This way, everyone is just as excited for you on the day!