Court and official wedding

There is nothing wrong with getting married at the court house and having a vow renewal a year later. However, keeping it a secret and lying to your family is the thing that sticks out. Why does it need to be a secret?

View Quoted Comment It doesnt have to be a secret lol I just meant to surprise everyone

That's why I was asking I wasnt sure how it would be like if we decided to get married at court first or of we should just wait

No, lying and deceiving your friends and family by telling them that they’re attending your wedding is not proper. It’s also not possible to get married then have a wedding a year later. Married people can’t get married.

View Quoted Comment Thank you just wanted to know how that would work if you wanted to go that route by court first or just waiting for the ceremony.

You can totally do the courthouse marriage ceremony if you like but just don’t keep it a secret and your public event would be a vow renewal. Some friends & family might be disappointed they missed the “real thing” though.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your advice. It's not a for sure thing just wanted to see our options. I appreciate your input

I think it would depend on your reasoning, and if you kept it a secret. Some people will be offended by a delayed ceremony no matter what. Others won’t mind. I personally don’t know why you would want a formal ceremony so far after your legal marriage. That just seems like backtracking. But you can do whatever makes you and your fiancé happy, because you two are the ones who have to live with the decision.

You can have a little courthouse wedding and then have a reception afterwards but usually there is a reason why to not have a ceremony. What a lot of people do is maybe they will elope Justin too or just invite maybe really close to family and then have a post-wedding reception. If you get legally married at the courthouse anything you do afterwards would be either a vowel renewal or a symbolic ceremony. Something like that would typically be done if you were maybe getting married abroad and don't want to deal with their process of Legally getting married.

Good advice from others. I'd just echo the part about not lying. There have been some really sad and awkward posts about what happened when the truth came out.... Please don't do that to your friends and family; it's potentially extremely hurtful. I'm a firm believer in free choice and people making the best decisions for them, but I also think they then should be prepared to accept the consequences of their decisions. If a couple wants to marry ahead of the celebration, I say "go for it." But then, tell people and invite them to a vow renewal or celebration whenever you want to. I'm not a fan of the "get secretly married, lie to friends and family, and then have a 'wedding' because we want that, too" scenario. There was one horrendous sets of posts from a MOB who found out, weeks before the wedding, that her daughter had been married for 6+ months and kept it a secret from both sets of parents because she and SIL wanted them to pay for the big wedding.... The parents were understandably shocked and devastated by the LYING, and withdrew their financial support. From the posts, the entire thing became a fiasco. I don't know why someone would risk that kind of damage to their relationships over a party.

View Quoted Comment I'm not that's the reason I was asking since I wasn't to sure how to go about it if we decide to go that route.

Im kind of in the same boat. I almost dont want a reception at all because of cost. Im torn.

I hope so ... that's what we did (it was a year later though)