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Savvy August 2012

Couples Shower/Bridal Shower

Mindy, on March 15, 2012 at 9:14 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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Hello everyone---I need some opinions on this whole Couple's shower vs Bridal Shower ordeal. My FH's Aunt is planning on throwing a couples shower for us. I've been in several weddings myself and have gone to such events. They are usually a more casual affair, guys-girls-family-friends and a chance for everyone to get together before the wedding. My sister, who is also my MOH is planning on throwing a Bridal shower...a more intimate affair with close family, friends and just have it be more focused on me, the bride. My FH's Aunt has stated that the wedding party shouldn't be invited to the couples shower because it's not proper to expect people to have to attend two showers and bring gifts to. (totally understand that)My FH and I don't know a lot of 'couples' per se and the ones we do are IN our wedding! I'm really having a hard time wrapping my head around NOT inviting the wedding party which includes our closest friends and my sisters. What are your thoughts???

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Mindy, on March 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM

Master April 2012
Mrs. Jaclyn Willson · on March 15, 2012 at 9:18 AM
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Maybe they can come just make it clear that they can only pick one event to bring a gift to. Or since they are in your BP, they don't need to bring a gift at all.

But I would not invite same people to each shower for the excpetion of the people closest to me or in my WP.
But I see where your Aunt is coming from.
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Master December 2011
Carrie · on March 15, 2012 at 9:19 AM
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I think it's ok to invite the wedding party to both, they don't have to bring a gift to both. This is from Emily Post:

How many showers can be given?
Multiple showers are okay, but be sure to invite different guests to each party. Only close family and members of the wedding party may be invited to more than one shower.

http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/new-times-new-traditions/129-who-can-host-a-shower
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Savvy August 2012
Mindy · on March 15, 2012 at 9:26 AM
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**Also---I originally was going to forgo the Bridal Shower because we were having a couples shower until I realized that my FH's Aunt was indicating that the couple's shower was basically to invite our friends that were 'couples' to come. I got to thinking, "What about all the Aunts, Grandma's,cousins and all the other people that I would normally invite to my Bridal shower? They don't get to come?" And that's when we decided to do both a couple's and a Bridal shower. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is: Who gets invited to what event? Would it be wrong to invite someone to both? Would it be easier to combine them into one big Co-ed event without the 'guest restrictions'?? I didn't think this would be so difficult until I heard I could only invite certain people to each event. Help!!!!!!
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Master December 2011
Carrie · on March 15, 2012 at 9:30 AM
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I think your aunt is confused. The bridal shower is typically women that are close to you. A couples shower basically just means the groom attends and the guys are invited in addition to women. The guests don't have to be just "couples". The link I posted explains what a couples shower is too.
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Savvy August 2012
Mindy · on March 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM
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Thanks Carrie W---I just checked out that link and I agree with what it indicates and also I'm on the same page with what you just stated too, about the couples shower means the guys can come as well. That's how it always was at any of the couples showers I've ever gone to. I think I'm going to have to sit down and go over this stuff with her...in a nice way of course!
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