Couples shower at a restaurant- self pay!?

My cousin just had a baby shower like this and I actually just didn't go. I sent a gift through Amazon and avoided the actual shower. It just sounds like a headache for a group of 30 or so trying to seperate checks, open gifts or play games in a resturant area.

I'm sure it could work but I think people will just kindly decline

I would graciously decline her offer. That's not really hosting a shower in my opinion. Also I would not go to a shower that was "hosted" in this manner. I would probably just send a gift later. I honestly think the idea is rude but I understand you are in a tough position. Just tell her you appreciate the thought but it's not necessary.

I would decline that for sure. It's a rude idea.

That idea is very rude. It's nice that she's wanting to "host" a shower for you but it's rude to your guests and it would honestly just be a headache messing with that at the restaurant. I would say to politely decline her offer, or respectfully talk to her about how that plan wouldn't work out.

She didn't offer to "host" anything if she expects your shower guests to pay a tab for their food and drink. Hosting, the type that requires you to profusely thank the benefactor, doesn't apply to a woman who decided to pick the venue/restaurant and then charge each gift giving guest for their food and drink.

Do yourself a favor, and do it soon. Tell her, "Yeah, umm, my understanding of hosting an event includes paying the tab for every guest at the end of the night. Merely picking a restaurant is not hosting the event. So, while we appreciate your interest, there is no scenario in which he and I feel comfortable asking our gift giving guests to pay for their meals at our wedding shower. In fact, that's not going to happen. So, if you can't, as the MOH, figure out a way to host our shower without having our guests foot the bill, we seriously ask you to skip the wedding shower. And that's a non-negotiable."

No, you don't pay for your own meal at a shower you are invited to. Not how this works. It's also rude and makes it seem lazy, cheap, and extra gift grabby since the hosts are not willing to provide a meal or any other hospitality to the guests. I would decline her offer, also.

Thanks all, for the validation. I will definitely talk to her about it.

Honestly, she'd probably spend more at the restaurant she suggested, with her family of four, than actually hosting an event for 25. But of course, I'd never suggest this. She can put two and two together. I'm sure she has her reason for not wanting to host traditionally.

I think part of the reason may be our background. Wedding/bridal showers as we do them here, are not the norm in Cuba. So she may not be familiar with the etiquette.

That's a bad idea and isn't really hosting.

I would skip it also