Couple not sitting together at the reception

View Quoted Comment You will still be able to hang out with him. You just won't be eating dinner with him. Once dinner is over, people start moving around and dancing and mingling and such.

If the bride knows this, then she should have a sweetheart table. Couples should never be separated which is why table assignments are done to prevent it from happening to anyone else. The wedding party should be same: don't separate them from dates/ significant others either.

I think you’re being overly sensitive to be honest. It’s not ideal to not get to sit with your boyfriend through dinner, but that’s how it goes sometimes if the bride and groom choose to have a head table rather than a sweetheart table. I have had to sit with strangers at weddings twice. You just make small talk and get through it, and then after dinner you can hang out with your boyfriend for the rest of the night. I think it’s unfair to assume you are unwelcome because you don’t get to sit at the head table, especially with your relationship being so new. Go and have fun!

I get that this isn't a great situation, but I also don't think it's a situation where you really get any say. Is what the bride is planning rude? Yes, I would interpret it that way (personally, I think a Sweetheart table or a King's table is a much better option so SOs aren't separated), but at the same time I'd either go, knowing it might be awkward and I'd likely be spending a good part of the day alone or with people I'd never met before, or, I'd decline. How serious are you with your BF? How much does HE want you to attend? How much do you want to have the opportunity to meet his extended family & friends? If yours is a fairly casual relationship and you're basically going as his plus 1 or as a convenience date, then I'd only go if you'll probably enjoy yourself (is it easy for you to make conversation with strangers? do you love a good party and dancing?). If the relationship is casual and you don't like that kind of stuff, then I'd definitely thank him for the kind invitation but decline. If your relationship is more serious and/or you think you might have a future together AND HE WANTS YOU TO ATTEND AS HIS DATE, then I'd suck it up and go and make my best effort to meet people and have fun. Yes, he'll likely be busy much of the day. Yes, there will likely be awkward times -- like when they are taking wedding party and family photos -- when you'll need to entertain yourself. Yes, you will have to do your best to make conversations with strangers (many of whom are his good friends and/or family), but if your relationship is potentially serious you may as well get started building your relationships with people he cares about! In a serious relationship, we often find ourselves doing things because they are important to our partner even if they aren't our first choice. Hopefully, he'd make the same type of sacrifice for something that was important to you. Good luck sorting things out as you make a decision!

Sorry I’m odd person out-but you’re a last minute guest that they weren’t counting on. After dinner, he can sit with you the rest of the evening. And it can give you a chance to get to know some of his friends.

As previous posters have said, you really don’t get a say in this one unfortunately, unless you just opt to not attend. If you’re being invited and the seating chart has already been created, you’re a last minute addition and the bride placed you where there was room and she thought you would be the most comfortable. It sounds like they have a Kong’s table, but likely given the last minute addition (you) there wasn’t room at it.


If I were in your shoes, Having not met your bfs sister before, but still having her suggest that your bf bring you I think makes you a very welcome guest, and I would be excited. It may be weird to sit at a table for dinner with people that you don’t know, but see if you can meet a few before the wedding. You would need someone to sit with at the ceremony regardless because your bf will be in the wedding.
Before you decide not to go because you don’t know anyone at your table, consider how you feel about your relationship. If you feel it could be long term... in 10 years after you’ve built a relationship up with his family do you want to be able to say that you were there to celebrate such a big moment for his sister?

I’ve heard about this happen so it seems like it does happen although I can see what you mean by it being uncomfortable cause it does sound so

I think that if you plan on being a big part of your boyfriend’s life in the future, you will regret not attending just because you couldn’t sit next to him for the duration of a meal. A couple’s head table is very important to them and although it may seem harsh, your individual feelings are not their top priority when arranging the seating chart. In the future you will definitely regret not attending his sister’s wedding, he may become upset if you choose to stay home when you were extended an invitation, and his family will all remember that you were invited but chose not to come. I don’t want to be mean at all and I know I sound harsh, but I do think this is the reality of the situation and you should consider all sides. We opted for couples to sit together at our wedding, but the way that they arrange their seating isn’t about you. Additionally, since weddings are very expensive per person, you are honored to be on the guest list. I had to sit alone at a wedding where my husband was at the head table, but we spent the whole rest of the night together afterwards and still had a blast! Just a few things to consider before making the decision - you can’t go back and re-live a huge life moment like this, and your boyfriend’s sister is obviously important to him.

I was in a wedding last year. I only knew the bride and groom, the bride's family, and one of the groomsmen, my FH (BF at the time) had met none of them until the rehearsal dinner.

We had been dating for almost two years but due to distance we hadn't gotten together with this couple before the wedding. My FH clicked with the groom and his friends and actually hung out with them and helped set up the next morning. He did sit at a separate table than me because the couple picked a head table. He was fine and continued to be quite social. After dinner we spent the rest of the night together.

We plan on having a head table with a table near the head table with SO of our wedding party. I think it is great that his sister wants to include you in her day. You might not be as social as my FH (he's over the top. I've seen him start a convo while walking to class) and that's understandable but imagine the relationships you can form over dinner, especially if you think this relationship is serious.

This happen to me last year but I'm an extrovert and mingle easily so I didn't mind.

It happens. I wouldn't do it I'm having a sweetheart table to avoid this but it's only meals that he will be sitting at head table. Maybe you can hang out or meet some of his friends/family prior to the wedding.

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I agree. If they didn't want you there you wouldn't have been invited period, he would have told you or they would mention it. You will have the dancing, hopefully you get to meet his family before the big day and before the rehearsal dinner. He can always ask to join the table you are in after the dinner.

This is why I hate head tables and think they are a bad idea. Sweetheart tables and wedding party members sitting with their SO's all the way! Even if you did know a bunch of other people at the wedding, it's always more fun to sit with your SO, so I just don't know why couples do this.

Is it possible for you to meet any of the friends before the wedding? Ideally you could go out with some people months or weeks beforehand. At the very least, you should be included during the rehearsal dinner and get to meet other people then. Let your boyfriend know you are uncomfortable with the situation and ask them if there is a way you can meet some people. If I was attending a wedding where I was aware that there was a girl in this position (for example if my husband was a groomsman and there was another groomsmen with a new girlfriend that didn't know anyone), I would go out of my way to make sure she felt included, but I might need a heads up from someone to reach out to that person. I think if you voice your concerns to your boyfriend, you can find a way to meet some other people so it's less awkward.

When my now FH and I first started dating, he was in one of his best friends weddings. They had a head table and they put all of the bridal parties +1's at a table together near the head table.. so it wasn't really that awkward because we were all kind of in it together. It did help that he introduced me to a girl that they had all been friends with since high school who was also a +1 so her and I actually hung out all night and became good friends (still are). I was uncomfortable at first and actually a little sad but honestly you don't even spend enough time at the table for it to matter. Usually you just eat and spend the rest of the evening dancing and having fun.