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mrswinteriscoming
VIP December 2021

Could you live next to your in-laws if it meant cheap rent?

mrswinteriscoming, on March 27, 2022 at 8:20 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 17

My husband and I live in an incredibly expensive area and are not willing to move elsewhere and sacrifice all the things we want for the prospect of purchasing a larger home for less than what we'd be paying here (a 3 bedroom apartment here is upwards of $1,500,000).

Relatives of ours are quite wealthy and own an apartment block near us. They recently renovated one of the apartments which they have been living in while they build a new home. They have offered to us to rent this apartment from them when they do move in a few years for less than market rent - essentially we'd be able to get a 4 bed, 3 bath, 2 car apartment for only a little bit more than what we currently pay for our 2 bedroom apartment.

The catch is, my parents live in the same building, meaning if we were to one day take them up on their offer, we'd be seeing them alllll the time.

Other than the great value for money, there would be great perks to it, but I know my husband will be really really hesitant due to how close to my parents we would be and how often we would see them.

We haven't discussed it yet because it's so far off in the future but it made me wonder generally, could you live close to your in-laws (and see them quite often by default) if it meant really affordable living?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Mimimushrooms, on April 6, 2022 at 1:47 PM
  • H
    Dedicated January 2022
    H ·
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    100% yes, BUT this depends on the in-laws. My parents and my in-laws are chill and not the meddling type, but if I had super meddling parents or in-laws then I might not be so willing.
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  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Hi just as H said it depends on how nonmeddling are but I can understand about see them all the time and you husband be if he knows that his parents are down the ways by you.This is a real toss up because I know you just don't want them there but not everyday give you and husband time for you both settle in your married life. But don't know if I could
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Depends on the relationship. I live in the same building as my daughter and her spouse, and it's awesome. We each have and respect our own spaces and each other.

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  • Jmz
    Expert July 2022
    Jmz ·
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    I would do it because my in laws are pretty awesome and I know his mom would always be down for helping out with kids in the future. 🤪 Actually, we're really hoping to have a house someday where we can eventually add a separate in law suite for them since they live in another country we'd like to convince them to move. 😅 But if I had difficult in laws, absolutely not. You deserve to have a peaceful life!
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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    My in-laws? Never. My husband would loose his mind in less than a week. We live 30 minutes away now and some days that is still too close.


    My parents? Maybe. I moved back home after school and managed to create a new dynamic between my parents and I where they treat me more like a friend and a peer than a child. I am incredibly lucky! My husband loves them, too. We lived with them for 2 weeks while our bathroom was being renovated and it worked out pretty good. It was not ideal but I now know they can respect my boundaries in close quarters!
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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    I would not. It sounds like a great deal and I like my soon to be in-laws, however I would not want them that close and in our business all of the time. It would be too much.
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  • Skb
    Dedicated December 2021
    Skb ·
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    In the same building? Probably not. I love my in laws but I would want some privacy and boundaries.
    Although, I would not mind if we were next door neighbors or live in the same neighborhood.
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  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
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    Depends a lot on the relationship with them. As others have said, everyone would need to have boundaries and respect each other's privacy. I grew up in a two family house with my paternal grandparents. It worked out well because there was mutual love and respect between everyone. It definitely would not work for everyone though.
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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
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    Nope! We live like 10 minutes away and FH is at his parents constantly in the garage and his mom already complains that she doesn't see him enough. She would be all up in our business all of the time. I also just don't have any desire to live with/near my parents again, so I'd say no to that as well.

    As others have said, I definitely think it all depends on your relationship with those people and your boundaries. Will they respect your boundaries when you put your foot down if needed? My parents/his mom wouldn't, so I know we definitely couldn't do that.

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think it's a good idea. i mean they're not IN your house at least or you're not IN theirs. like you'd still have your own space apart from them. and plus... try it out. if you don't end up liking it,then you can find a new place

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    A lot of this depends on your relationship and your ability to set and maintain boundaries. We live next door to my husband’s aunt because he inherited his mom’s house which was next door to his grandparents- now his aunt lives there because his grandparents have passed away. We don’t see her any more often than we see anyone else so usually once a month. We set boundaries early in our relationship that our life was ours and ours alone and I told my husband that if that couldn’t be respected, I would want to move.


    If you aren’t on the same page about how much time you’ll spend with them/setting those boundaries, moving into the same building as them could be disastrous.
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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    Depends on your relationship with them. My in-laws are great, but I know my FH wouldn't want to live that close to either of his parents, for the reasons you stated. We're barely home as is, so to have to share what little time we get together with his parents would be weird. My dad and stepmom, on the other hand, are like us and like their space. So we wouldn't mind that because we wouldn't really feel required to spend extra time together. Maybe an occasional dinner here and there, but beyond that, it'd be normal life.

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  • Tara
    VIP November 2016
    Tara ·
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    If you're not on the same floor or right next door to them, I would absolutely do it!!!

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  • E
    Dedicated February 2023
    Elycia ·
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    My parents yes, his parents no lol

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  • C
    Beginner October 2022
    Cristobal ·
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    We did this, from the DMV, and on one hand it's made paying for our wedding and prepping to buy a house much easier, but be prepared to set serious boundaries. They now know we like our privacy but them understanding that took 7 months to fully get, initially they did not respect that. If it was my parents, it would be a lot easier, so think of two people who don't get privacy or the need for it. It was a process to get where we are now. They're thrilled that we're down the street, but it's taken 7 months to establish the boundaries we need. For you, can you handle that patience and are your parents more understanding and respectful?

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  • Amanda
    Devoted April 2022
    Amanda ·
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    I would definitely live next to my in-laws if it was more affordable but it does depend on your relationship with your in-laws and how well you get along and can tolerate that dynamic of being neighbors.

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  • Mimimushrooms
    Savvy February 2023
    Mimimushrooms ·
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    My in-laws absolutely yes (I love ‘em) my own parents a loud hell no. My mother’s dream is to live right next door to me so she keeps telling me when houses in her neighborhood are on sale (we don’t live in same city). She’ll drop hints that she would be the perfect childcare option, she likes cooking big meals, etc. She’s really overbearing and we unfortunately have differing love languages so we butt heads a lot.
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