Beginner August 2018

Corsages and boutonnieres...

Stephanie, on April 11, 2018 at 6:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

So as the wedding draws nearer, I am trying to find places to save some money. I know it is tradition to give corsages and boutonnieres to all the immediate family members, but due to the fact that I am adopted but in contact with my biological family, this list is getting rather long and expensive.

Is it rude to just give flowers to our mothers and fathers and skip the grandparents? It's a savings of more than $100, but I'm afraid the older generation will be offended.

Also, my mom recently got remarried but he and I do not get along. Do I have to get him a boutonniere since he is my mothers husband?


Latest activity by Patricia, on May 10, 2018 at 8:02 PM
  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    • Flag
    Is there an option to skip it?
    We skipped corsages and boutonnières, instead our moms wore flower crowns. We didn't give boutonnières to my moms boyfriend-not my father figure, not close to him in the slightest.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.W.
    VIP June 2018
    Mrs.W. ·
    • Flag

    I'd just skip it. As long as you don't give some to one set of grandparents and not others people probably won't care.

    • Reply
  • S
    Beginner August 2018
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    No, I already asked the moms for their preference on pin or wrist corsages, so they are already expecting flowers.

    I feel the same way about my moms husband, so I don't think I will get him one.
    • Reply
  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
    • Flag
    We skipped it entirely because the list was getting way too long with all the step and half people. We are also doing an elopement package so my bouquet and FHs boutonniere are included in the price we already paid, but we could pay to add extra. We only gave 28 people going with us and would end up giving almost half flowers. I think it's better to give all or none to avoid confusion/hurt feelings.
    • Reply
  • K
    Devoted May 2018
    Kaitlin ·
    • Flag
    I’m skipping it. Although, probably doing a boutonnière for my step dad since he’s walking me down the aisle and I think it would be weird if he didn’t have one. I don’t think any of our parents or grandparents will care.
    • Reply
  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
    • Flag

    I'd skip it. I feel like your moms would (or should be) understanding that you didn't want to exclude anyone, but that the cost was just getting to be too high. Can you talk with them about this and feel out the situation?

    • Reply
  • E
    Devoted May 2019
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    I'm planning on just skipping it altogether.
    • Reply
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag
    Skipping for non grandparents and for us that is one person, my FI's grandma. We were doing great uncles and aunts but we expect close to 10 in attendance and that was going to be way too much especially since we aren't doing photos with them.
    • Reply
  • J'Neil
    Devoted September 2018
    J'Neil ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s fine to reduce the number (or skip it) as long as it doesn’t seem like you’re picking and choosing people (one great aunt over here, one grandfather over there) when you decide who not to give to

    we’re actually only giving boutineers to our fathers and corsages to our mothers and siblings are all in the wedding party so already get some kind of flower. Pretty much anyone with a title gets flowers Smiley smile

    You should be fine to just include your and your FH parents.
    • Reply
  • LaraLouM
    Super May 2019
    LaraLouM ·
    • Flag
    We aren’t doing flowers for any of the family.
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    I think mothers and father is fine and it’s ok not to get one for your new stepfather if he’s not a father figure.

    ive seen some non-floral boutonnières that we’re really cute too. That may be another way to save some $.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Devoted October 2018
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    We are giving both of our fathers, FH, his BM, and our son the ring bearer boutonnières, and both our mothers and his grandma corsages.
    I don't think anyone else will need one.
    • Reply
  • H
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Got married 2 weeks ago. My hubby has both parents remarried, my parents are both remarried, my mother is on her 3rd hubby, but the man I consider my father (her 2nd husband) passed years ago. My mother got married a year ago at 70+ and did not invite me or my fiancee to her wedding (small affair, no one but officiant and her "best friends"). So, we opted to buy a corsage and boutonniere for each of our biological parents and not any of the step parents. (estrangement, distance, etc contributed, but budgeting did too). My mother had the gall to make a stink that her new hubby didn't get a boutonniere (I've literally had about 4 conversations with the man and wasn't invited or even told about the wedding until 2 weeks later), however, the other steps did not (my father's wife has been my step mom since I was 4 years old - they did not have issue). So, my point, you can't make everyone happy, make your self happy, work with your budget, etc. I'm almost 50, no contributions from any of them, and no offers of in kind assistance or input beforehand first. I feel like, if they are involved or close, it might be harder to set limits. But, truly, you cannot please everyone! I had my son walk me down the aisle, so he had a boutonniere also.. I feel like the corsage and boutonniere are meant to signify that really close person/people. When everyone gets one, it is less significant for the close people.

    • Reply
  • P
    Dedicated June 2018
    Patricia ·
    • Flag

    You can skip it if you want. That's what we are doing. My parents are both gone, so that makes it easier for us. I got enough boutonnieres and bouquets for the bridal party, including myself and my groom and it made our flowers so much cheaper.

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