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Just Said Yes September 2013

Correct ettiquette for requesting no gifts.

Kristin, on February 12, 2019 at 7:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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Is it ever socially correct to request no wedding gifts? Our daughter plans to get married at City Hall in SF in mid June with just the bride, groom and parents in attendance. At the end of June, they want to have a 3-day celebration of their marriage in Southern California for family & friends.. Since they will be flying there, as well as many of the guests, they’re thinking of requesting no gifts. How would that be worded on the invitations? People have already begun to ask where they’ll be registered. They live in an apt. in SF with no space to store gifts, but eventually want to buy a house. Is there ever a socially correct way to suggest money in lieu of gifts? They absolutely don’t want their celebration to sound like a gift (or money) grab. Thank you in advance for any information/suggestions.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on February 13, 2019 at 4:24 PM

Devoted October 2019
Lauren · on February 12, 2019 at 7:58 PM
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A friend of mine insisted on no gifts. She had a card sent with the invite saying in lieu of gifts donate to the make a wish foundation. It was fine. Nobody brought gifts.
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Just Said Yes September 2013
Kristin · on February 12, 2019 at 8:00 PM
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Lovely idea. Thank you.
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Devoted October 2019
Lauren · on February 12, 2019 at 8:01 PM
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It really made it clear they didnt want cash. They wanted nothing.
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on February 12, 2019 at 9:08 PM
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Usually gifts aren’t mentioned on an invitation, registry information is only listed on shower invitations. If asked it’s fine to tell people they aren’t registered anywhere and would prefer not to have gifts. Most people will bring cash/check in a card to the wedding. There are some people that will want to give a physical gift no matter what so they may end up with a few random things. Hopefully a gift receipt is included and they will be able to return it.
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Expert November 2022
Megan · on February 12, 2019 at 10:31 PM
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I know this isn't the same but one idea or maybe you could do something similar. I don't think this was tacky ( but maybe some will...?) my cousin is flying in for her bridal shower and they put on the shower invite "bride to be will be traveling from far away to be her on this special day! Gifts are not expected,but if giving gift cards are requested."
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on February 12, 2019 at 11:30 PM
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Just don’t register. Then if people ask they can say “we didn’t register anywhere as we are unable to travel with and store gifts, but we are saving up towards _______”
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Master 0000
Judith · on February 13, 2019 at 6:12 AM
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This is the polite thing. Never mention gifts unless a giver brings the matter up with you or your family. Who may, as above, say that they are now in a small space, but saving up to move. Many will give money. Others will simply think, give very small things. An aunt coming from Europe did the reverse. Since we are traveling in US for a month, I decided to get you something so small I could keep it with me. So when in NYC, she bought me sapphire earrings and husband a darker blue sapphire pinkie ring. Good things come in small packages. Not just money is portable.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on February 13, 2019 at 12:01 PM
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If she doesn't register, people will know to give cash. Asking for cash is rude regardless. If she doesn't register, she shouldn't have a shower either.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 13, 2019 at 12:08 PM
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Are you saying they don’t want gifts at all, or they want cash instead of gifts?

If they don’t want gifts at all, you could say something like: “Your presence at our wedding is enough gift for us, so we kindly request no gifts.” Keep in mind people may bring gifts anyway lol. You may want to suggest a charity donation in lieu of a gift.

If you’re saying they want cash instead of gifts, don’t say anything and don’t register. People will get the idea!
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Super August 2006
Cassandra7 · on February 13, 2019 at 12:37 PM
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Don't register and let word of mouth do the job. Some people will give gifts no matter what you do. Saying "No gifts, please" is tacky. Saying it in bad verse is really, really tacky.
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Mim · on February 13, 2019 at 12:43 PM
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Gifts should never be mentioned on an invitation, regardless of the event. They should just not register, people will get the idea and gift them with monetary gifts. If someone chooses to bring a physical gift to the party, they'll need to make a plan to carry gifts back in their luggage and/or ship them back. If they don't want the money they're likely to receive, they can donate it to the charity of their choose.
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Lady · on February 13, 2019 at 4:24 PM
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Well, the correct etiquette is that you should never mention gifts at all (even no gifts!) because it gives the impression that gifts were expected in the first place - which is rude.
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