Coronavirus -- Get married now and party later?

I would get married now with a small ceremony and have a big vow renewal. If our wedding has to be postponed/canceled that is what we are planning to do. I don't think a vow renewal at 1 year is abnormal at all After all, it's a celebration of your love! I also have a big family so I understand your dilemma.

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Thanks Katlyn! It's definitely been a whirlwind...I'm just so worried that we won't be as excited 1 year later....but maybe we will! It's such a a weird time to be getting married right now. Right now that 60 people is just our siblings, aunts and uncles, and bridal party. It's such a hard thing not to have cousins etc. there, but if I included all of my 1st cousins the list would at least double, and at that point, you might as well just go as planned....

what is your date?

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Ultimately it comes down to what you want If you won't be happy with a small wedding with not all family around, you should def do the renewal. You don't want to have the regret. But on the other hand, if you would be fine with not everyone being there, then just do the small wedding. My wedding isn't til 12/19/2020 but it is in NY state . . . which means we will likely have to severely slash our guest list as their rules are going to be pretty strict. As it is now, I am probably going to have to cancel my bridal shower as my work schedule does not allow me much free time in the fall for festivities. My family is very large, so 25% capacity for venues means not all of my immediate family can attend.

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Ugh! I feel you girl. We live in Chicago, fiancee's entire friend group and family is from IL. I am originally from Kansas City, MO and we have a huge chunk of family there and Colorado. So we are monitoring all 3 cities....I feel like at this point I could write a book on all 3 cities Coronavirus restrictions and plans for re-opening.

That being said, yeah...massive family over here too. Collectively, my fiancee and I invited maybe 50 friends...but we sent out 480 (actually 508 with some optional plus ones) invitations...so the rest are family.

Yikes. I am giving you such good vibes. NY is getting hit hard, and it cannot be a stress free ordeal for you either.

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Yeah I am in medical school in the Caribbean right now and flights are restricted from the US. My family and fiance live in Texas but his family lives in NY. Talk about logistic nightmare. I wish you good luck. We can do this!!

We live in the Chicagoland area. We got married on our original date in April with just our immediate family(less than 10 people) and originally postponed our big 350 guest wedding to September but have recently decided to push it back again to September/October 2021. I’m not worried that it won’t be as exciting or anything. I did not wear my wedding dress when we got married so I think the fact that everyone will be seeing it for the first time next year will make it exciting.

I vote option 1! You can still get married with those closest to you, which will be very special! Having the party next year will also give you something to look forward to. I don't think the vow renewal would be weird at all, especially considering the pandemic. And your family and friends, that don't make it to your actually wedding this year, will be very excited to celebrate with you next year!

Hi Megan,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. However, I am loving the suggestions above! I also love how proactive you are being about plan b!

If I were in your shoes, I would go with option 1. Get married now with your close friends and family by your side. Then, do a larger reception next year! I highly doubt anyone will be disappointed to have a night of dancing and food - especially after quarantine!

I'm certain whatever you decide will be so perfect!

Sending lots of love your way!

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Thanks all! It's definitely such a difficult decision. I've been struggling so much, and honestly just having everyone give their input has been so helpful...I feel like I need to get a feel for what everyone else would do to help validate my decision, LOL.

Sending love to all of you!

We are scheduled for June 20th and this week made the decision to go with option 3. small wedding with family and bridal party, no later event. After planning for 2 years already we are not interested in planning and hosting another event next year. Also, for us, we find that some of that “it’s your wedding day” excitement is lost on a later event. I hope you two plan your perfect day regardless!

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Thanks michaela--

That's kind of my thought process here too. One of the major issues is that my fiancee and I differ so much (a blessing and a curse). I would be so happy with a small wedding, but he is really wanting a big wedding, sit down dinner ...the whole shebang!

I figure if it's not important to me, and it is important to him, what's the hurt in doing it? All that to say, I feel like I turned down a small wedding once, and it's very difficult to do it again! LOL.

I'm also worried I won't be as excited in 1 year. Ugh! This is rough!

I have a large family too and we have essentially gone with option 2. While it stinks to have to wait another year, I figure we are spending so much on our wedding that I just want to have the day I had always imagined. We are fairly young and already live together. We have been dating for 7 years (since high school) and our engagement was only going to be 11 months, but we can wait another year for the day of our dreams. Our date was October 3, 2020 in NJ but we are postponing to September 25, 2021. Our guest list is over 300 people (we are hoping for around 230 to actually come) and we can't imagine cutting it down to under 50 plus I would like to see everyone's smiling faces and don't want to have to wear a mask at my wedding! Most of my family is in Illinois and would have to fly here so it just makes sense to postpone. I am sad, but feel good about the decision and definitely less stressed. Our vendors have been really great with the process of rescheduling. When we started the wedding planning process, we ranked what was most important to us and it was most important for us to have all of our family and friends in attendance. So maybe ranking what is most important to you and your Fiance would be helpful.