Hi all!
August 1 wedding here, although we are strongly considering postponing and already have some soft holds on Spring/Summer 2021 dates. Our reasoning is that even if gatherings of our size (150-200) are technically "allowed" (which isn't even a guarantee), we don't foresee being able to have the type of wedding we want. I haven't seen much discussion on here yet of what a post-shelter-in-place wedding will look like over the coming year, but sadly, I think such weddings will look very different essentially until there is a vaccine or exceptionally effective, tested, and distributed treatment, or alternatively a ramping up of testing and contact tracing that is at earliest many months away and would require the type of coordination between states and the federal government that we have yet to see.
I think having a frank conversation on this subject is useful for (1) those deciding whether or not to postpone, and (2) those who need to go forward with their original date but want to know what reality to prepare for in terms of what their event will look like.
To start the list off, here's how I think weddings might look different (I'm interested in additions from other brides, wedding planners, etc.):
Screening for Attendance:
- Forehead/infrared temperature screening of all guests, needing to deny entry to anyone with a temperature (unless they can somehow immediately get access to a rapid test, which doesn't seem like a possibility for months to come). Note: This wouldn't protect against asymptomatic carriers.
- Once testing is ramped up, some effort to require all guests to take a covid test prior to attendance? This would give other tests peace of mind, but doesn't seem feasible until testing is, again, built out to levels exponentially higher than current rate. I know companies are working on take-home covid tests (think pregnancy test but for coronavirus), but those are many months to a year away, maybe longer.
- Attendance generally: Expect a depressed guest count--like 50% depressed. "I'm not willing to risk my life to attend your wedding" is a reasonable opinion so expect a lot of people to adopt it (even if they put it more politely). And sadly, the ones who do risk their lives to attend may be the ones who really shouldn't do so--i.e., your older aunt who feels obligated because she doesn't want to miss your special day. Also, out of town (and out of country) guests could have additional restrictions on movement.
Changes to the Structure:
- The couple will have to accept that many guests will opt to wear masks throughout the entire event; providing your guests with masks would be preferable for guest safety. So, yeah, walking down the aisle to a sea of guests wearing masks is a real likelihood.
- No hugging of guests/shaking hands/etc. (unless you want to risk passing on coronavirus from your younger asymptomatic friend to your older aunt)
- Seating arrangements: For the ceremony, skipping every other row so people can stay 6 feet apart. During dinner, seating fewer people at each round table so as to increase distance between guests while eating.
- Food: No buffet style (too many people touching the same serving spoons), family style also risky. Waitstaff to wear masks & gloves probably necessary.
- The big one: Possibly no dance floor. Or a dance floor but only younger guests feel comfortable using it...
- Favors: Individual bottles of hand sanitizer? "Cute" face masks? Also, hand sanitizer at guest book, bar, and anywhere else that various guests are regularly touching.
Finances:
- Brides will start needing to make final payments as soon as a couple months before the event. It seems unlikely that couples will be able to predict where their geographic area will be months ahead of time. Many public health officials envision a world where certain geographic areas might have to return to shelter in place/more stringent size restriction policies if there's any significant increase in covid at the moment (think geographical whack-a-mole). So, imagine paying your entire catering bill just to find out two days before your wedding that the city you're getting married in has reinstated a limit to events of only under 50 people because they had a spike in covid cases over the past week.
Dire consequences:
- Yes, there is the possibility that someone, or multiple people, will contract coronavirus from attending your wedding, and, yes, it is possible that people may die. Some brides might say "well it's up to each person to decide whether or not to attend so it's on them," but do you really want your guests to choose between attending your wedding and staying safe? And if the worst case scenario happens and one of your guests die, really think about how that will feel to live with.
Sorry this is such a bummer of a list. But I don't think brides are giving enough thought to just how different their weddings may look if they choose not to postpone. And I think brides who are pushing forward could use some guidance as to protective measures they could take to make their event as safe as possible.
