Coordinator Gift or Tip???

I’m sure she would prefer cash.

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Yeah that is kinda what I was thinking, since she views it as her job... maybe we can get her a personalized wine bottle and an envelop with the cash.

She’s doing a job and deserves to be tipped for good service. You wouldn’t thank your server at a restaurant for doing a good job with a box of chocolates and bottle of wine.

We have our coordinator a very generous cash tip and a personal gift because she went above and beyond

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Yeah I thinks that's what we are leaning towards. when did you present it to her?

View Quoted Comment Honestly, I’d put the cost of the wine towards the cash tip and write a thoughtful card. It’s really kind hearted to want to gift, but I’m sure she’d be grateful for the tip and a card.

View Quoted Comment We have it to her the morning after our wedding. We had a destination wedding and she was part of the hotel so we saw her that morning.

She is a professional A gift instead of a tip is for amateurs if that. How would you feel if at the end of your big project, worked on for a year, one boss gave you a spa day, and the other partner gave you a thousand dollar bottle champagne to drink while relaxing? And skipped a bonus of $1,800, the value of the luxury spa and champagne? Maybe her car needs repairs and het daughter needs shoes. Bottles of wine, nice scarfs, cannot peurchase what she needs from work pay. She works for money. Pay her her fees. If she does a good job, give her more money. For a nice relationship, where she worked hard,, a letter of thanks which she can ise as a reference would be nice in addition to a tip. Send it later.

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Wow Judith, Should I be sorry for having a question? Yes she works for money hence a contract for money that she has been paid. I was just thinking in terms of sentiment I think your response is a bit abrasive.

You can do either. A tip is specifically a thank you for going well above and beyond the call of duty. It should never be expected by anyone for just showing up or if they perform bad service.
If you want to give a tip in the form of a gift instead of cash, feel free to do so.

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Thank you for the support Michele. I was kind of getting attacked up there... I think we will do a sweet gesture to pair with her tip. I just felt like she would love something personal because that is the kind of person she is.

View Quoted Comment It was not meant to be abrasive. But I work with a few independent contactors who struggle to pay the bills, especially when work is not plentiful. Who find themselves given exquisite sweaters they caonnot wear, liquor, especially wines, they cannot drink, mug and thermous sets with funny sayings, while they are on foodstamps. And always, the fact that no one ever , in either work group I have been in for years, has given gifts not cash tips to any of the men. To the women, it happens regularly.

Also, any tips to any vendors should be given only after you and new spouse have had a chance to objectively assess their performance well after the wedding day. They are not offended if you wait to give a tip/thank you card after you come back from your honeymoon, nor is it rude to do so. As an example: if you had a stellar planner and caterer, but the baker didn't show up until a hour into reception and the florist brought all the wrong flowers you said you didn't want and told you to deal with it, in that case neither the florist or baker have earned any tip. A generic thank you card yes, but no tip whatsoever. The planner and caterer would because they went above and beyond. Again, wait until after the honeymoon when you are not on cloud 9 with every emotion on your sleeve.

The thing to remember is, it's not sentimental to her... this is her job. I'm sure she really enjoys you as a client, but that's what you are. She probably doesn't want a wedding keepsake as much as cash, I think that's all people are trying to say.

I feel like you are getting a little attacked for no reason, you had a legitimate question, one i had been wondering myself for my own coordinator. And this is the place where you are supposed to be able to ask things without judgement.

And yes of course everyone loves cash, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't also like something small and personal, how we can we judge that? We don't know her. But you do, I feel like if you think she would enjoy something personal along with a tip you should absolutely do that. That's more memorable than just money anyways. I say follow your gut.

View Quoted Comment Alexandria, thank you so much for seeing not only where I was coming from but that I was somehow deemed wildly stupid for such a question. Maybe I'm becoming more "sentimental/emotional" as my wedding is almost here.
Not to mention I work in a world of contracts I work long hard extra hours. I have clients and I do not expect tips. Granted its not part of my line of work, but my thought process was really from the basis of really knowing my coordinators life now we follow each other on social media, we text when things come up. We discussed my bach party even when she had no part of it.
Needless to say, we plan to give her a monetary tip and will likely also give her something personal. Thank you for being supportive as I thought this site was about until I asked a "stupid question" I appreciate you!!!❤❤❤

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Crystal, I feel like you have every right to be emotional especially as your big day is almost here! That's totally normal. And because you and her are pretty close now beyond what a normal vendor client relationship is I think she will love whatever you do for her! I feel like my coordinator has gone so far beyond what her normal duties are and even with her normal duties she's done them in such a way that I was not prepared for or expecting. She's so kind and always there to listen to by crazy anxieties and worries and to calm me down or tell me that I'm being ridiculous. She's truly made this whole experience (especially during 2020) go a lot smoother and I feel like I need to express that in a gift, not just cash so she knows how important she was in our big day!

Good luck in the rest of your planning!