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Lenae
Just Said Yes December 2020

Controversial subject but please hear me out..

Lenae, on July 23, 2019 at 10:05 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 30
My FH and I have gotten several comments about being engaged at our age.. in your opinion, how young is too young?

30 Comments

Latest activity by 8Bitbek, on July 24, 2019 at 6:17 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    <18. It’s much more about maturity than age. I personally wouldn’t recommend that even the most mature 18 year old get married, but if you’re financially stable and have been responsible for your own well being for a while, you’re capable of making the decision yourself.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I think that's dependent on your stage in life too. When I was 20 I had already graduated college and had a well paying full time job. So there could be really mature and stable young people.
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  • Lenae
    Just Said Yes December 2020
    Lenae ·
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    Sorry typo.. controversial*
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    21 or under. I don’t think you have experienced enough or matured enough until that time. And even 21 is young, but I think couples could make it work.
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  • Rachael
    Dedicated July 2020
    Rachael ·
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    My FH and I are 20 and we have full time jobs in the school district and I was living on my own since I was 15 pretty much. Were plenty mature and he'll be 21 by the wedding and I'll be almost 21 so I think we're fine. But people are saying that we are very young
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  • Farrah
    Devoted September 2019
    Farrah ·
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    I’m 22 and have been engaged since I was 19! We’re getting married in September and we’re ready!
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  • Trista
    VIP September 2019
    Trista ·
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    To me, living at home is too young. Being dependent on your parents to support you is too young. As long as you can support yourself, you're old enough. HOWEVER, I also think how long you've known/been with someone plays a role. If you're 19 and getting married to someone you've been best friends with for the past 10 years and dated the last five, I think that's a very different scenario than if you're 19 marrying someone you've known for a year. I personally didn't want to get married until I was through college.
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  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
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    I wasn’t ready in my 20s but everyone’s different. We waited until our late 30s!
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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    It depends on the person or couple but I feel under 20 is pretty young for marriage.
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  • Elizabeth
    Expert September 2019
    Elizabeth ·
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    It depends on the couple, their life experience, obligations, etc. It's rare to see a couple under 20 engaged. It depends if your financially stable, have been responsible for yourself, and if you're ready for marriage.

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  • Ceelie
    Expert August 2019
    Ceelie ·
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    Haha I come from Utah, where everyone and their dog gets married under the age of 20. I personally think it depends more on how long you two dated. People are always maturing, as long as you know who you’re marrying really well and you don’t see any red flags, youre fine!
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    Your brain hasn't fully matured until you're 25. Ideally, I'd wait until then.

    I was married for the first time at the age of 23. In theory, I should have been ready. I'd been out of college for a year, supporting myself with a full-time job while going to law school almost full-time as well. And I'd known the guy for seven years and dated him for two. But what I didn't realize was that because I wasn't really established in a career, he was kind of treating me as if he were a mentor, guiding me though school and the early stages of my career. When I got more established, it turned out that he really wasn't capable of being part of a relationship of equals. Waiting a few more years might have saved me from ending up divorced just as my kids hit their teens.

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    I think it depends on each person.
    Me? I never considered getting married in my 20s.
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  • Destiera
    Devoted March 2020
    Destiera ·
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    I get it quite a bit as my fiancé is 21 and I turn 21 in less than a month. But, I would say 18 is the youngest, it would make sense as by this time you should be either in school or working. It all depends on the couple if they can financially and emotionally support one another. We planned on waiting but after planning some more, we realized we are capable of getting married and living on our own. We were both ready for that next step together.
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  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
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    Personally I think your age matters less than how long you've been together.

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  • A
    Expert January 2020
    Abby ·
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    18+ is fine. No one should really be giving grief over age unless it’s under 18. I was engaged at 20 (almost 21) and I will be almost 22 wedding time.
    I’ve seen people who were 30 and stable and independent and they were divorced within a few years... then I’ve seen people that got together out of high school, they were both living with their parents, worked hard ,got married and they moved in together they worked really hard to barely afford living together and such but they are still together and happy. You never know when you’re gonna find your person. They just show up one day... and then they change the rest of your life and you don’t have control of that. I’ve gotten some slack for age but I normally just shrug it off! Good luck ☺️
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  • F
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    As long as you both are 18 and over then no one can really say anything. They can have their opinions, but for some it works, others it doesn't. I've changed A LOT since I was 18. If I would have married who I was with then, I'd be divorced right now. When I was 18 I wanted to be married and have 2 kids by 25. Now, I'm approaching 31, getting married in 15 days eeeek! But my world views have changed, and I now have a partner that shares those same worldviews and has the same.life goals as I do. The guys I was with before FH, dont share the same worldviews I have now, so we wouldnt have made it. Personally, I'm glad I waited! But for everyone else, you need to do what's best for you and your partner!
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I'm my opinion? 25, the parts of your brain that involve desicion making, planning, and relationships, are not done developing until about then. There's also a lot of personal and professional growth in those years I think is more important than anything else.
    But overall if someone tells they're engaged you congratulate them and move on unless they're under 18 or not done with high school yet. There's no reason to pee in someone else's Cheerios.
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  • S
    Dedicated August 2019
    Susan ·
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    I think this is a case by case basis. I was a mature 20 year old, but I have also changed so much in the last ten years like we all do. Looking back at the relationships I had in my early twenties, I would not have been happy after a few years of marriage. I guess with time I figured out, outside of those feelings of love and infatuation, what a good relationship looks like for me. So for me, I needed to wait until now, 30, to be able to make a decision. I think this is why the divorce rates by age show that the younger you get married, the more likely you'll get a divorce, because of people like me!

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  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
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    The age question is more a question on whether you are both independent and can grow with each other. It's harder when you're younger because your brain is still developing - you may not think or behave exactly the same way when you're 20 v. 30. That why a lot of people say they 'grew apart' from their high school or college sweetheart.
    However, as long as a couple actively communicates and keeps building on a strong foundation, they can certainly make it - no matter the age they get married at.
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