Controlling alcohol intake (host Bar)

Only do signature cocktails and maybe consider only call brands, not top shelf, announce the bar will be closed for dinner, shorten your reception by a few hours, and cut your guest list so that each guest can have 1-2 drinks per hour without going over your limit.

How large is your guest list? I agree with MrsBdeG that by closing the bar during dinner and potentially shortening your reception will definitely make things stretch. You could also tell the bartender to not allow any shots at all.

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Our guest list is currently 350 but we are hoping for it to become around 315. the cocktail hour is currently a cash bar with the host bar not starting until the actual reception. I could close the bar during dinner but will it be too long of a time of not paying for drinks?

You are not having the wedding you can afford. Your guests should not have to pay for drinks during cocktail hour either. I suggest you cut back the guest list to a number you can afford.

View Quoted Comment Are the 350 people all adults? That’s barely enough money for everyone to get one drink if I’m doing the math correctly.

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It's not about what I can afford. It's what I'm willing to spend. We make close to $200k a year but we aren't drinkers, therefore we are not going to spend $10k on alcohol. It's called setting a budget for certain things.

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No only around 250 are over 21. Maybe 150 of that will be drinking. We both have large families and the high guest list is mostly due to aunts/uncles that are 60+ and will not be drinking.

I agree that guest should not have to pay for drinks since the reception is a celebration and a way to thank them for attending your ceremony but each couple gets to make that decision for themselves. As far as advice, my FH and I are doing 2 signatures details (one chosen by me and one by the groom with different liquors such as one with vodka and one with wiskey), 3 beers, and 3 wines. We are only doing champagne for the toasts. My cocktail is called "something blue" and is a rum and blue curacao. His is more of a whiskey coke and we're still working on a cute name. You would just put a small chalkboard or sign with the menu on the bar. This will allow you to pay for all of the alcohol because beer and wine are much cheaper than liquor. The less options you provide, the less expensive it will be. Hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment I agree with PP. You need to host a reception you can afford without pushing the cost of it onto your guests (receptions are a thank you for your guests so they shouldn't have their wallets out at all).

To stretch that hosted bar budget, I'd cut your guest list down to 80, 100 absolute maximum. I know how hard it can be. My original guest list was north of 400. On my my side, I have over 15 blood related aunts and uncles.

It's hard to cut the list but I'm sure they will all understand that hosting well is more important than hosting a large number.

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Affording is not the problem, for the second time. And our guests have already been invited. But if it is that big of a deal I guess I will spend the extra money. I didn't know alcohol was so necessary for a wedding to be a celebration.

View Quoted Comment I'm glad we can help! Yes free alcohol, even if it's of a limited variety, is very necessary. I would be sure to make sure no shots or top shelf liquor is available to keep the tab in check.

I am not sure where you are but I would ask the bar what their prices are.

this is what our venue in MA charges

Soft Drinks - $2.00Beers: $6.00 - $7.00Wines: $7.00Mixed Drinks: $8.00 - $10.00 Champagne/Prosecco: $9.00 Martinis: $12.00 therefore if everyone has a martini (since its the most expensive) one for cocktail hour, one for dinner, and then one for after dinner ( dancing, social part) that's $36 a person36 x 250 = $9,000.

we are having 150 over 21 guests : our venue allowed us to put some money down ($2,000) and then put the rest on the card for the night, that way we can pay some the drinking bill before hand. also, you should put money for soda and other non alcoholic drinks.

Just to add, I personally don't believe that free alcohol is a "necessity of good hosting" . I have never assumed at that alcohol is free at any event and always bring cash if I want to drink.

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We are having a cash bar at our reception. I have received backlash from this site regarding my decision to do so. People don't have to agree with my decisions nor do I care if they do. We are having beverage options that are free it's just not any alcohol. If people choose not to come because it's a cash bar that's their choice. I'm providing unlimited food, non-alcoholic drinks, desserts, etc... If someone is only coming to my reception to get drunk for free they can stay home. That's my take on it. I think you're smart for setting a budget in this area. I've been to many receptions where it's either only a cash bar or one free drink and then you pay for the rest. It's not only where I'm from that I've seen this. You do what is best for you. Don't let those that want to judge, belittle, etc choose how much money you spend or change your budget.

I chose to spend my money elsewhere for my day vs on the alcohol.

To each their own

View Quoted Comment So if you can afford it, why not treat your guests?
I recently went to a vegan friend's wedding. She's not a meat eater, but she spent money for her guests to be able to eat meat.... I don't think it's fair to limit your guests that much just because you don't drink. $2800 won't go far for 300 people, especially since you need to include the cost of nonalcoholic drinks in that amount.

Went to a cash bar wedding with FH a few years back. Most people heard it was a cash bar and kept going out to their cars to drink. There was underage drinking, and people got so drunk that FH and I had to drive some people (and their cars) the 45 min drive home (several times) because they weren’t being served by a bartender thus couldn’t be cut off. It was awful. Would not recommend cash bar.

Switching to cash bar is very rude. Is there no way for a modified bar or something else?

So what you are saying is you CAN afford to host your guests properly, you are just CHOOSING not to.

What is the appropriate amount that should be spent on the bar then ladies? Should I just give the bartender my card and have no limit? Is that what you're saying? Drinks are $5-$7.

Obviously cutting back to just beer/wine would make that stretch but since that's not something you want to do then I would also suggest making sure the liquor being used isn't top self and maybe limiting those options to a signature drink! I have also been to weddings where cocktail hour was open bar but after dinner it was beer/wine and cash bar for mixed drinks. You could also do that!

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It's not that there is an appropriate amount. It's that guests shouldn't have to put their hands in their pockets for a party you are hosting. It's just good etiquette, plain and simple.

If you want to spend less, then keep it to beer and wine. That right there should knock a chunk off. Or only host mixed drinks at cocktail hour then go to beer and wine for the reception.

It costs what it costs.