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Daquona
Beginner May 2023

Constant Problems

Daquona, on December 26, 2021 at 11:49 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5
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Hey Future Brides & Grooms


I’m just curious if my engagement is the only one as dramatic as a reality tv show. Everything from hating ass family members, friends, and (excuse my language) systematic problems trying to break up my beautiful black family. I have a daughter from my previous marriage where I am going thru a nasty custody battle and my ex is bitter about my FH and not only has her bought drama but now using my FH criminal history to prevent him from being around my daughter. I am so stressed because I am absolutely in love and I finally have a healthy relationship but it comes with toxic ex’s, baby mom’s, baby dad’s, and a unjustified government. Are these signs to cancel the wedding or should I just push it back!? Things are driving me crazy!!!

5 Comments

Latest activity by W-K, on December 30, 2021 at 8:37 AM
  • Sharonda
    Rockstar January 2021
    Sharonda ·
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    This is tough. I’m not in this situation, but I would definitely seek legal advice on how to handle the custody battle and the impact of your FH’s history so you know all of your options and can make informed decisions moving forward. Definitely praying that things work out!
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  • Daquona
    Beginner May 2023
    Daquona ·
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    I appreciate the advice. He has had domestic violence but has not done anything to my child or any child in that V manner!!! Huh man I’m going to take my time planning
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    Unfortunately, pushing the wedding back isn’t going to eliminate your problems. It’s simply going to push those problems to a later date. With all of that going on, have you considered getting married with just the two of you? That’s what FH and I did… and we didn’t have any drama in our lives (besides the pandemic 🤦🏽‍♀️ 😖). But, canceling our big wedding and eloping in Hawaii was truly the very BEST wedding decision that we made!!
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  • Daquona
    Beginner May 2023
    Daquona ·
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    I absolutely love that you eloped off to Hawaii!!!! Maybe that’s what’s best for us I’ll definitely mention this idea to him!!!
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  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
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    I'm a bit of a subject matter expert on custody and Domestic Violence. Depending on what state you're in the fact that your FH has been convicted of DV can hold a lot of weight in custody hearings. Generally if someone has that kind of conviction they are regarded as being unfit to be around children alone/ play the role of a parent. This is because even if they don't hurt the child in any way physically exposing the child to emotional, financial, and physical abuse of a parent is abuse of the child. I would personally also be worried for your own welfare and being because people who have DV issues don't just change on their own. They'll just hide it for a while, sometimes for years, or it will morph into only emotional abuse but those tendencies are still there, know what I mean? Ways to combat the presumption that would come up in court is if your FH has gone specifically through batterer's counseling, parenting classes, and hasn't reoffended in anyway. It'll also make a difference in how long ago it was and who the victim was.

    From a personal standpoint custody court is no joke. It can spread out for years and be extremely draining on a marriage. I've been separated from my ex husband since 2012. I was finally able THIS YEAR to have a permanent custody order set into place for our two children. Know that the choices you make will effect your custody case so you've got to be OK in the end with being with your FH over being allowed to fully parent your child. That's not a choice I would personally make.

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