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Just Said Yes March 2020

Considering adding a second moh

Kate, on October 26, 2019 at 1:43 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
I asked my BFF to be my MOH because she is my oldest friend/she is basically my sister and I wanted to honor our special relationship. I did this, however, without expecting her to take on the usual duties of a MOH, because she lives on disability income, as well as living a fair distance away from me, and so she doesn't really have the means or the availability to fulfill those duties, which is 100% fine with me. The thing is, one of my other bridesmaids has been really stepping up and has basically been voluntarily taking on a lot of MOH duties. I super appreciate this and want to honor her for all her help, so I was considering making her a second MOH. Will this make my current MOH feel less special/make her feel guilty for not being able to help out more? If I make this bridesmaid a MOH, will she become resentful that her co-MOH isn't helping out with much? Will this make the other bridesmaids, who have also been helping out with things here and there, feel less appreciated? The ladies in my bridal party are incredibly important to me, and I just want to do right by all of them.


5 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on October 26, 2019 at 11:35 PM
  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
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    The duties of a bridesmaid or maid/matron of honor are to buy the dress (having been consulted privately about her budget before the dress is selected), to show up at the wedding sober and wearing the dress, and to smile for the pictures. That's it.

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  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I think that’s a crappy thing to do to your moh. I did almost everything for my brothers wife’s wedding and I was just a bridesmaid, the moh did almost nothing. I never even considered that she would’ve “upgraded”
    my status, that would’ve been such a slap in the face to her long time best friend. Please don’t do that. Just keep telling her how much you appreciate all her hard work she’s been doing for you.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I don’t think you need to make her a second MOH just because she is doing a bunch of things. Just yell her how much your appreciate everything she’s doing. Maybe take her to lunch or do something extra for her when everything is over
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  • K
    Just Said Yes March 2020
    Kate ·
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    I really appreciate the advice. I was just wanting to make sure everyone felt properly appreciated, but I see now this is not the right way to do that. Thanks! Smiley smile

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I'm glad you were able to get great perspective from previous posters! Welcome to WeddingWire!

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