M.W.
VIP June 2019

Confused and need advice.

M.W., on October 15, 2019 at 8:41 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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So my husband and his friend have been friend for awhile now for the longest time I had never met his friends girlfriend. When I finally did met her she came off as a decent human being, love bombed me and kept telling me how much she really liked me. I Suspected something was a little off with her but I always give people chances and like to see the good in people. I must admit 2 people had came forward and told me to stay away from her because she is not a good person and a narcissist but I didn't listen. After while I started to see signs that something just was not right with her. She would cut me off and over talk me while I was talking and switch the topic back to herself, When we would be out walking for exercise she would walk in front of me leaving me behind so she could be in the lead, Give me back handed compliments the list goes on. When I became in engaged she laughed instead of congratulating me and said I over her my boyfriend talking to your fiancé and said I figured it was coming but didn't know when. She would get angry and upset with me when people would tell me my engagement ring was beautiful so she started out of nowhere wearing random rings on her ring finger even though she is not engaged (I honestly think she did this because she is jealous and wanted the attention that I was getting). I had a private shopping party for my bachelorette at a local boutique where I know the owner we were all having a good time but all my friends noticed that she was not treating me nicely and rolling her eyes at me and making snide comments but I didn't let it ruin my day. At my bridal shower she was going around making comments to my friends that I knew my bridal shower was today because I had a new dress on. ( I had no clue my bridal shower was happening I was told we were going to brunch with my best friend and her husband. Prior to this I wasn't hanging out with her as much because I always felt drained after being around her and just didn't feel myself. I honestly didn't even want her at my wedding but I had to suck it up because my Husband is good friends with her boyfriend. At my wedding she for the most part acted decent but she complained about a small handful of kids being at my wedding and she also went up to my friend whom she had only met once and made her feel uncomfortable and called her at saying I facebook messaged you inviting me out for drinks and you never responded. I suspected something was going on so I walked over and my friend thank you so much for saving me she is crazy. ( She had to block her) She was also standing very closely next to my pregnant sister in law and made her feel uncomfortable. She always was talking to my other friend who she only met once at my bridal shower and made her feel uncomfortable as well. Non of my friends like her so it's a huge sign. Now that my husband and I are married I no longer have contact with her, she continues to blow up my phone begging to hang out and I just blow her off and tell her I'm busy because I no longer want to be around her. I have spoke to my husband about this and I have tried to be cordial with this women because he is really good friends with her boyfriend but I just cannot do it anymore. And Ms Nutcase has already started putting a bug in her boyfriends ear saying now that we are married we are to good to hang out with them which is not the case. It's her she's the problem. I am honestly at my wits end and do not know what to do. I want my husband to still hang out with his friend but its putting me in an a stressful situations because they want to do things as couple but I cannot be around someone who is so toxic. Please Help! Thanks in advance.

12 Comments

  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Just tell your husband you don’t feel comfortable doing things with them as a couple, block her number, and move on. He can still hang out with his friend. Sometimes we have to have firm boundaries with people even if they don’t see the issues they’re causing.
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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Thank you Sarah. I hate to be that person that blocks people's numbers but this is sounding like a good idea. I'm not sure what she wants from me. She has been stalking my friends on facebook and has even parked outside of my house and texted me peek-a-boo your wreath on your door is adorable. I look out my window see her car but don't her. I seriously cant make this up! This is not normal behavior. I wish I would have listened to the people in the beginning who warned me to stay away from her.

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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    There is absolutely nothing wrong with removing a toxic person from your life. You don't owe her or anyone else any explanations. As @Sarah and you both mentioned, your husband is still free to hangout with his friend; he just shouldn't expect that you attend, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that

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  • Rebecca
    Expert January 2020
    Rebecca ·
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    Omg, that's really creepy! As others have said, block her number and stay away. She clearly has issues and you don't need that toxicity in your life.

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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Mrs. H Thank you! I always felt like I owed people an explanation because I am just too nice. I just cant do it anymore. I should not have to explain to anyone why I am removing a toxic person from my life. Thank you for the advice.

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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Rebecca: Thank you!

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  • Alyssa
    Expert June 2020
    Alyssa ·
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    This is the type of person who CANNOT stand not being the center of attention. She will wear a white dress to your wedding. I would decrease your interaction with this person as much as possible.

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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Thank you for the advice

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  • Rebecca
    Expert January 2020
    Rebecca ·
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    You're welcome! Just stay strong and good luck!

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    I agree with what the other PPs have said already. Block her number, don't interact with her, let your husband know everything you just shared here (especially the creepy text about your wreath), and don't go out as couples anymore. He can still see his friend but that doesn't mean you need to hang out with her. You don't owe her an explanation; in fact, that might give her a foothold to keep engaging with you.

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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Earias: Thank you so much! I have shared with my husband a few months ago all the stuff she has done to me. He brushed it off and had thought it was harmless but now he is starting to see how truly crazy she is and how uncomfortable I have become when I am around her.

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  • M.W.
    VIP June 2019
    M.W. ·
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    Thank you!

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