Conflicted

I, too, am a recovering people pleaser. This is going to sound sarcastic, but it's not; you're marrying your FH, not your mom. It's great to take her opinion into consideration on things that you're not sure of, but this sounds like something that you and your FH both feel strongly about and have agreed on. If the only reason you have not to choose this venue is that it's not your mom's favorite, is that really a good enough reason for you? I would really start trying to navigate through these situations and put yours and your FH's desires first or it could truly drive a wedge between the two of you. You could even seek out counseling if you feel like it could help.

I guess I just learned to prioritize. It's very possible that choosing to take your mother's opinions into consideration over your FH's could cause significant harm in your relationship and eventually your marriage. It's just not worth it. Once you learn to start saying no, it will get easier and easier each time.

A fellow people pleaser here! First off, i want to say CONGRATS on your engagement and starting your journey planning what is going to be a BEAUTIFUL wedding between two people who love each other!

It's human nature to always have an opinion, but if we take a step back (including your mom) you have to realize this wedding has to reflect who you and your FH are, not who your mom is. If your ideas do not match up with your mom's that is okay and that is something she is going to have to accept. At the end of the day when you walk down the isle whether its in a church, a backyard, or on a beach, her heart is going to be bursting with joy seeing how happy and you and your FH are on your wedding day. I do not know much about you and your mom's relationship but i truly hope she doesn't make you feel bad about not going with her ideas of the wedding especially because she's helping pay. I strongly agree with PP and the advice she gives. Once you start to say no, it does get easier. The absolute last thing you want on your mind on your wedding day or when you look back at photos is guilt is that your wedding wasn't the best version it could be because it wasn't personal to yourself and FH. It also helps that you and your FH are on the same page. If you feel more comfortable I would ask your FH if they would be willing to sit down with you and your mom and discuss the plans for YOUR wedding so if your mom does try to make you feel guilty to have someone there to keep you on track i hope this helps! You can always reach out if you need support!!

UPDATE: Finally got mom to be on board with the venue that FH and I like! Thank you for all of your encouragements, ladies! It was and still is much appreciated. Now we have to decide between July 25th and November 7th (2020) in Wisconsin... eek!

THIS! When I read your post it honestly felt like something I would text my MOH in my early months of wedding planning. I had plenty of tear-filled nights because my mom (also my best friend) and I were butting heads on EVERYTHING. After a month or two we finally had a good talk and I told her how I was feeling. It was very hard for me because I never want to upset her, but it was only going to get worse. My recommendation would be to talk to her. She's your mom and i'm sure she wants only the best for you. My talk with my mom made me realize that she was only trying to help! Best of luck to you and your Mom!