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Dedicated August 2022

Conflicted about dress choosing

Lynne, on February 27, 2022 at 8:28 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 14

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I found out that the dress that I have on layaway at DB won't be here on time (wedding is in August, dress wouldn't get here until mid June to early July). I've been looking at their site in my price range and found some that I really like (two or three haven't tried on). I normally show 6 or 7 people my choices and I think I've been letting their opinions help decide on my dress.

I have an appointment on Tuesday. Going by myself this time. I've shown just 1 person the ones I really like and she likes them to. My mom usually goes with me but she can't this time because she will be helping my grandma.
Is it ok, that I go by myself? Should I keep it a secret? I want to at least show my mom, and bridal party.
I really do hate that I'm letting others help dictate which dresses I try on or not. I'm usually not this indecisive.

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Lynne, on February 28, 2022 at 6:52 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on February 27, 2022 at 8:56 PM
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It’s fine that you go by yourself, but also mid-June to early July is enough time for an August wedding. I started alterations 5 weeks before my wedding and had extensive work done- zipper to corset, 3 layers hemmed several inches, two sets of cups sewn in, and a 5 point bustle- and it all got done in that time.
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 27, 2022 at 8:59 PM
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My day is the 6th of August. I think it's just stress. When I sit and think about it I think I'm trying to please everyone with my dress. My FH just wants me to love my dress. The one I selected I feel comfortable and relaxed, I strongly like the dress but don't exactly love it (if that makes sense).
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on February 28, 2022 at 12:10 AM
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In this case, I think it's actually better that you go by yourself and pick out the dress on your own. Based on several of your posts, it sounds like you keep trying to please others with the dress instead of yourself. Go alone and just make it a fun surprise for everyone to see on the wedding day!
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 12:12 AM
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I like that idea.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on February 28, 2022 at 9:20 AM
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That is plenty of time to get your dress.
I think it would serve you well to stop thinking about your dress. You've been all over the place about whether this was or was not your dream dress and have obsessed with multiple appointments. At the end of the day, your dress is such a small part of your wedding and I highly encourage you to move on.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on February 28, 2022 at 10:22 AM
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It's totally fine to go by yourself! That way, the only opinion you're listening to is yours. I also agree with Kylie that once you decide on a dress, to stop thinking about it or second guessing your decision, since that usually leads to dress regret.

If you order a new one now, will that be here in time for alterations? If your current dress arrives by early July, that should be enough time for alterations, especially if you aren't planning to do anything major (such as changing the dress shape, adding lots of beading, etc). You could reach out to a seamstress now to make sure you get on their calendar for alterations.
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 10:32 AM
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The style of dress I have wanted for YEARS does not look good on me at all. This is my second marriage to my FH, he got married pretty young and we rushed into it. My very first dress was not a wedding dress, it was a white dress that could be worn to an office job. So, yes I want a dress that I love.
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 10:36 AM
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I have talked to 2 seamstresses about the alterations I want on the dress both said it would 3-4 weeks. First time I got married my dress was a white dress that could be worn to an office job. So, I do want an actual wedding dress that I love. That's why I'm going alone, I need to just listen to myself. The dress that's on layaway is not one that I love.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on February 28, 2022 at 11:09 AM
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I'm confused. You've made many, many posts about choosing your dress, and in your last post about the dress you choose that you had in your mind for years, you said you "absolutely love" it, you felt confident, relaxed and comfortable, and that you couldn't be happier. What has changed?
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 11:15 AM
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My wedding is at the beginning of August, wouldn't arrive until end of June to early July. Then it would take another 3-4 weeks for the alterations that I want. Yes, the dress helps with my confidence, I do feel comfortable and relaxed. I love it but I don't remember much of the details of the dress. I always second guess myself when I start hearing negative comments. I will be putting it back on at the appointment. I think with doing it myself I'll ve able to focus on me and not pleasing anyone else thats with me. If that makes any sense.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on February 28, 2022 at 11:32 AM
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In this thread, you talked about how much you love the dress and how it's been the one on your mind for a few years: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/dress-solved/86d2a5812a2177ee.html
I guess I'm not understanding why the dress arriving by early July would mean you suddenly don't love it anymore? The timing with alterations sounds like it will work out?

I think it's common to feel unsure, though instead of looking at new dresses, maybe first go back to the store and try on your dress again? Wearing it may remind you why you chose it. Otherwise, if you find that it's truly not the dress you want to wear, certainly go look for a new one, and I think shopping alone would help you choose a dress that you love! Keep in mind that if you're looking for the dress to arrive by early June, that's three months from now. Buying a new dress now might mean buying a sample dress or a pre-owned gown or something off the rack instead of ordering one. Many places take longer than 3 months to ship a new dress.
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 11:37 AM
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That's what I'm doing this morning. I think it's just stress over everything not just the dress. There is a sample dress of the one that made me feel beautiful and it's available now in my dress budget. The sample sale price ends today, so I really need to put it back on.
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Master October 2023
Cece · on February 28, 2022 at 6:38 PM
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Mid-June to early July is PLENTY of time for your August wedding! And the dress you chose looks really great on you! Not to mention, you have been thinking about it for three years! I would definitely not forfeit that dress. Alterations should easily be able to be done in time.
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Dedicated August 2022
Lynne · on February 28, 2022 at 6:52 PM
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I went in today to try it back on and it is discontinued, they didn't have it in the store. The one I did get gives me the feels and I love it more than the one that was on my mind for 3 years. Which was weird to me.
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