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Dedicated November 2019

Concerned/rude guest and the aftermath...

Marla, on November 29, 2019 at 10:30 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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I had a negative interaction with my good friend’s husband at my wedding and now she’s not really responding to my texts. I had rented a starry night light from Rent My Wedding for our starry night themed wedding after researching that the small laser light would be safe. He had approached the staff about having it turned off, who then went to the DJ, when they thought it was hers. I explained that I had rented it, that it was safe as long as people weren’t looking directly into the light (it was aimed up toward the ceiling and no one was over there playing with it), and that I would not be turning it off. After he went on about how he was going to take his children and leave if I didn’t turn it off, I said fine, turn it off because we didn’t want to create a bigger scene as we were just at the cocktail hour portion of the wedding. He then moved the light on top of one of the branch decorations, which then worried me that it would fall and hurt someone. Thankfully, it did not and it stayed on for the rest of the night, but you could see them glancing upward at it and talking about it in our wedding video even after he moved it. Our DJ was surprised because she typically uses those lights on the dance floor with people walking by. I would certainly not use something that would be considered harmful. My husband is an engineer, as is hers, and I was assured that it was safe. Even the company states it is safe. I did apologize to him afterward and he said it was okay since he had fixed it. Now, I haven’t really heard from my good friend. I’m having anxiety about this. I was a bit rude, telling him initially that I had paid a lot to rent it and that I would not be turning it off. Not sure what else to do. I really value her friendship and I love her.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Alejandra, on December 1, 2019 at 9:34 AM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
    • Flag
    How often do you usually talk to your friend? Your wedding was less than two weeks ago with a major holiday between then and now. I wouldn’t put more energy into than its worth. She’s probably just been busy.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I think you should on the phone or meet up with her in person face-to-face because emotions and tone can be lost in text messages. Maybe send her a final text saying hey I'd like to meet up with you in person because I just want to make sure that we are okay because you value the friendship. Or try to call her and tell her that and then if after that point she doesn't respond then you just need to let it go. It's okay that you can reflect and say that you were a bit harsh but at the same time I think it's also rude on his part to be demanding of what you do at your wedding. And he also should apologize.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, he was being a bit dramatic and manipulative. He certainly didn’t need to move the light once it was off. Ugh. I agree with other poster to wait til after holidays and grab a bite to eat. Only bring it up if you feel tension there although it might be good if you apologize for your rudeness that you were not happy with her hubby’s threats.


    And post a pic when you have them! I want to se the starry night theme. ✨
    • Reply
  • Brianna
    Dedicated December 2019
    Brianna ·
    • Flag
    I can’t see how this is on you at all. You were not rude to tell him you wouldn’t be it off. You did not in any way, shape or form owe him and apology, though it was nice of you to offer one to smooth things over. This man displayed controlling and manipulative behaviors at your wedding day. His wife could be embarrassed about that. Alternatively, she could be “siding” with him because that’s what she is used to doing. A man who would behave this way at a wedding is obviously familiar with acting in controlling ways, and so perhaps your friend either has been told not to communicate or just doesn’t know where to start.


    Either way, I think it’s best to let her know the door to friendship is still open for you and let her take it from there.
    I’m sorry that happened at your wedding. Please do not fault yourself for someone else’s unacceptable behavior.
    • Reply
  • Brianna
    Dedicated December 2019
    Brianna ·
    • Flag
    *my second sentence should have read “you were not rude to tell him you wouldn’t be turning it off”


    I hate that we cannot edits posts here!
    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    They were rude for telling you to remove your wedding decor. You reached out, if they want to remain resentful for something they did, that’s on them. Enjoy being a newlywed and forget about the drama!
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    The husband in the one who was in the wrong. If he was not comfortable with the laser, he could have left without making a scene. I agree it hasn't been a long time since your wedding, and your friend has probably been busy with the holiday and kids. If your friend is going to be salty about her husband's bad behavior, that's on her
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    He sounds irrational. I would never go to someone’s wedding and ask that they remove or change anything, and if he honestly felt that endangered by it he could have calmly left.
    • Reply

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