Comparing my wedding to my brothers

Every wedding is different. Not better or worse, just different. To me what makes a wedding great is seeing how happy and in love the bride and groom are and seeing them enjoy their special day.

So I have 3 brothers. I wanted a more simple wedding but my fiancé wanted some nicer things and we are way over budget. Our wedding is in November. One of my brothers just got engaged, and they haven’t announced a date yet but they’re planning to have a very small simple wedding with all DIY and self catering, probably in someone’s backyard. Its going to be fun, no one is going to judge, and we are just happy for them. It’ll probably be even more fun because the pressure won’t be there. Everyone’s budget and vision are different. I have another brother who is not engaged, but I know he will pull out all the stops when he is, it’ll be more extravagant than mine. My third brother is very anti social and who knows if he’ll even have a wedding. So don’t worry, you do you.

My brother and I had weddings 6 *weeks* apart. They were COMPLETELY different events... but each wedding was perfect for each couple. Everyone had fun at both. Ours was everything that we wanted, theirs was everything that they wanted — that’s all that really matters .

Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks. It’s YOUR day and it should be exactly what you and your FH want.

Don’t worry about what everyone else things. I know it’s hard, I’m doing the same. I have 4 weddings within a 6 month timeframe from mine. One is a couple weeks after mine. At the end of the day it’s your wedding and if you are happy then that’s what matters.

I do the same - my fiance's brother got married 4 years ago, their wedding was BEAUTIFUL and all the little details worked perfectly - we aren't getting married for another year and all I keep doing is comparing what we're planning to what they had...what you and I have to remember is that we are different than our siblings and at the end of the day we're going to be the only ones comparing...have fun and enjoy the planning with your fiance, making sure this is YOUR wedding and everything you two want!

You're not crazy, but don't compare. It's very easy to do but it's counterproductive. I got married over a month ago. We had one adult attendant each, no speeches, tosses, cake cutting, etc. Our wedding had only about 70 people in attendance. Most of the guests saw me before the wedding. My SIL is getting married next month and I know her wedding will be very different. It's a church wedding with all the traditions. I'm sure many people will think her wedding is better. To each their own! As long as everyone has a good time and you get married, that's all that matters!

It makes sense you'd think that. Our friend had his wedding a week before ours and it was by far way more extravagant and we knew that since he spent literally twice as much as us. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter because every wedding is beautiful in their own way and everyone is their to celebrate you

With all the social media hype, it's hard not to compare every decision of your life with someone else's.

Once some family members realize we are having tacos and sliders (fancy ones, but still), the eyes will be rolling. Oh well. They can drown their disappointment with a free margarita.

I’m with you! Everyone in my family has gotten married at the same place and had a couple hundred people attend, since I’m the one paying I decided to forgo tradition and go with a smaller venue with a rustic vibe and have only the closest of the close attend the wedding. And I had this image of what my wedding was going to be like which was a lot different than my siblings and I wouldn’t be comparing mine to theirs because it was going to be more toned down than theirs. But things don’t always go to plan, found out why everyone chose to go with the traditional venue it was because 1) it was cheaper per person like $30+ Cheaper 2) because they have been dealing with the family for so long they didn’t require a deposit and you could pay after the wedding day. So now trying to spare my wallet I changed to the traditional venue and now I can’t stop thinking about the details of my sibs weddings that I could have done without if I had gone with the rustic venue.

Every wedding is different and special in their own way. My BIL got married this past September, and we got married this past June. I couldn't help but compare...and so did everyone else. "Oh, they had this at their wedding," "They hired this person," "They...blah blah blah." Our wedding wasn't as GRAND as theirs, but you know what...it was a lot more fun. So don't stress yourself out, and trust that your wedding will be extra special in y'all's way.

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I absolutely love this response! Sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing

Thank you for the feedback everyone! Makes me feel a lot better about the situation!!

Please don't compare your wedding to anyone else's! Each wedding is unique to reflect how unique each couple is

View Quoted Comment 😂😂😂 yeessssss! I'm providing bomb food and drinks. If my family doesn't want to drive out to our destination or leaves early, whatevs. Can't please everyone.

My wedding vision is mine and my FHs alone. I deliberately went for a different vibe than other family members. There were 6 other weddings in our family in recent years. They ranged from budgets of $200-$20,000. They were all special in their own way. There was a beach wedding, big countryclub wedding, small church wedding, beautiful outdoor spring wedding, outdoor/indoor fall wedding, and a vineyard wedding. Everyone is very different and had different visions.

I do have to say the most beautiful wedding was also the hottest and most boring. The most fun wedding ended too quick, and the most expensive thoroughly planned wedding wasn't that impressive.

I went the way of an intimate romantic woods wedding. Perfect for my fh and I. I just hope it comes together. I don't think everyone is into the idea of a casual outdoor wedding in the woods with bbq and a self serve bar, a fire, and a small group of people. That's okay with me. I'm gonna have a blast celebrating my marriage.

It's normal to feel that way, I know I did for a little bit. My brother got engaged about a month before we did and his fiancée is the type to follow every trendy thing on Pinterest. But we all know that type of vision usually comes at cost.

Once I found out what their budget was, more than double ours, I was happy to know that we weren't starting our marriage ridiculously in debt. My FH loves to joke about my thrifty habits because that means more money for video games lol.

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Yes!! This is the attitude I'm trying to have always!! Not just in wedding planning, but in life! We only defeat ourselves when we try to compare to others.

You're marrying your best friend and the love of your life. Make that be more than enough!!

Good food, good music, and seeing the newlyweds.

That's what people care about and expect from a wedding.