Commitment Ceremony

Hmm. This is rather tricky. My heart goes out to you for sustaining such a loss but what a happy thing to find love again. When he bought you this ring, did he actually propose? If you weren't in your unique situation, would he want to get married? Would you?

A commitment ceremony sounds nice, I just don't know who/how many to invite to such a thing who would understand that this is more if a spiritual commitment, not a legal one.

I think Meaghan's thoughts are on the right track. If you decide to do the ceremony, maybe just make it a very small and intimate group? Immediate family and a few close friends?

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.

I guess my thoughts are you can not move on into your new life holding on to perks of the old one.

I don't believe in commitment ceremonies and if you are set on one for whatever purpose keep it very intimate.

ETA: It made no sense for me to get legally married but my true commitment to my husband legally, spiritually, and emotionally meant more to me.

I have never heard of commitment ceremonies and believe that if keeping your financial benefits is more beneficial to you then a marriage to your partner, then you are not ready for marriage and it would be werid to invite people to basically celebrate your relationship, not a milestone.

The only commitment ceremonies I really know of were for those people who could not legally get married not those that could but choose not too for benefits of their own. I find it similar to people that don't get married so they both can claim head of household on their taxes

I don't have any advice besides check and make sure your state laws allow you to even cohabitate with someone while still keeping your survivor benefits.

I officiated ss commitment ceremonies for 20 years before ss weddings became legal in Jan. 2015. Because that was the only option for ss couples.

If you won't lose your benefits by living together, just do that, say you're engaged, just never set a date.

I know it makes logical sense on the surface, but deep down it sounds like you may be more committed to your financial benefits than your boyfriend. Marriage is about going all in, putting another person before yourself, and making life happen together. It sounds like you aren't ready to do that. There's. Irving wrong with being in that place, but it would make rethink whether or not I should be having a "commitment ceremony".

There are some significant financial and tax changes after a marriage, so people saying you are more committed to your financial benefits than to your boyfriend are overly judgmental and not terribly realistic. Putting off a wedding to make sure you are not harmed financially seems smart to me. Blazing forward with a "love conquers all" mentality won't pay the bills.

Commitment ceremonies are not unheard of, and one of the main reasons people opt for one instead of a traditional wedding is exactly what you described, the potential for negative financial consequences. Ultimately it really doesn't matter how anyone else feels about it. You said you aren't sure how you feel about it, so it doesn't sound like you are sold on the idea. I wouldn't do it if you are not comfortable with the idea.