Cold Feet?

I think I take things more seriously. Like if we have a small argument then I tend to over analyze it in my head and wonder if we need to work on something.

What @Sarah said... the marriage part? or the relationship part? I've questioned many times whether I really want to legally marry (mostly because we have been together almost 10 years and I hate change), but never my relationship with FW.

Not really about H, but I did freak out a bit when the thought of changing my name. I had always wanted to take his name but it scared the shit out of me seeing it on a piece of mail. All good now.

Not about marrying my FH. I am, however, freaking out about the actual wedding. I'm afraid that I'm going to forget an important detail so I'm basically a huge ball of stress for the next 25 days or whatever it is

Not about FH & our relationship. We knew from very early on that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. However, that doesn't mean that I don't have days where my anxiety kicks in and I slightly panic over the idea of actually getting married. I think a lot of that is caused from stress from the wedding planning. So I usually try to take a week or two off from it and just focus on our relationship. That usually helps me refocus my priorities & energy back to where it should be.

Yeah pretty sure its normal.

You're about to spend the next (x amount of years) well- rest of your life with someone. But I mean, isn't that what you're already doing? Marriage is just the piece of paper that makes it legal.

Not about my relationship with FH. Wedding stuff, for sure! I've been having a lot of wedding nightmares and I wake up and start questioning every little detail. Whenever that happens I just take a break from doing anything wedding related.

My FH and I aren't having cold feet about getting married or even the wedding day. Our stress is actually coming from the fact that after we get married, we'll be MARRIED and possibly having KIDS and majorly adulting. To this point in time, we've lived our lives for our selves and included our families but have pursues our own goals. This will be a team for life and we're both gonna have to work and sacrifice for the other. We love each other and have no problem doing it, but the idea of kids is what freaks us out.

ETA: we're undecided about having kids but realize that one day we probably will. Also, I'm not changing my name so that's not freaking me out.

Okay gooood!

Yes not questioning the relationship .... Just fretting over the wedding.

First it's a LOT of money invested in a wedding.... which is already scary....

But now that the bachelorette party and the wedding shower is being planned and people are booking plane tickets, it's getting real.

And PLEASE with the last name change ... that is bothering me so bad!!

My dad adopted me so he paid about $4,000 for the adoption and name change when I was 4 and it feels wrong to change it.

Also, I am so so nervous about my dad walking me down the aisle. It makes me so emotional, I cry just thinking about it. That's the only part that makes me cry. I really don't want to be boohooing on my wedding day.

Any tips??

You don't have to change your last name, that's up to you! I am super attached to mine but if I were in your shoes, I would be even more attached and proud of it I was also super emotional about my dad too! We did a sort of 'first look' with my dad unintentionally when he came out of his hotel room and I totally cried. Good news was that I got that part out of he way haha! That was the only time I cried that day, and the walk down the aisle with my parents was good. Perhaps consider the father daughter first look too!

I get it with the name change. You could hyphenate, make your maiden name your middle, or not change it at all. It's your choice.

As for day of, I was just so excited I didn't really cry. H is the emotional one. I say just focus on your excitement and hopefully that helps!

I think it's natural. It's something new, kind of scary & stressful. It's like your whole life you've had this one name and now you're literally a completely new person with a new identity and title!

I like the idea of doing a father daughter first look. Maybe I can do it before they apply the makeup lol

Does anyone know how the getting dressed process works? Like do you put on the dress before or after hair and makeup?

You do hair and makeup and then get dressed last. Just get waterproof makeup (or as close as things get to waterproof) and have LOTS of tissues.

You don't want to be doing makeup in a big white dress that's difficult to get in and out of and also difficult to visit the bathroom in.

I did hair then make-up, but I don't know if those need done in that order.

No. The only thing I was nervous about leading up to the wedding was if the actual wedding itself would go as planned.

As far as your name change goes, you 100% do not have to change your name if you don't want to. It will not make you any less married if you don't, and if you have any reservations about it, you shouldn't do it. A name change is something you can do at any time, so you can always take a while after the wedding to think about it, or just never do it at all. It's your choice.

And as far as getting emotional while walking down the aisle, I strongly recommend doing a first look with your FH! It was my favorite part of our wedding day. It made for beautiful photos, made the most sense logistically, and allowed us to get our ugly cries out before we saw any of our guests. It was very calming to have that time together, and then we were just like "we GOT this, let's go".

And your dress should be the last thing you put on. Hair and makeup go first. Can you step into your dress or does it have to go over your head? Try to avoid going over your head at all costs.

Totally get it. Your date is a couple weeks before mine, and the closer it gets, the more nervous I get about the whole thing. Not the relationship, but marriage is so big! It feels so permanent and real (which is the entire point). I think you're allowed to acknowledge the significance and importance of what's about to happen.

If you're unsure about whether you're marrying the right person though, I would be very concerned.

ETA: You absolutely don't have to change your name. You're committing to another person, that doesn't have to involve changing your entire legal identity.

The reason we all know what you mean by "cold feet" is because yes! it is a common phenomenon. It's probably just pre wedding jitters (a less threatening name). But of course look within yourself and be really honest with yourself. We are hopefully past the days where women get pushed or pressured I to marriages they don't want etc... It's probably just nerves and normal to feel nervous! Try to recall your best memories with your FH and maybe that will melt the doubt away.

In my opinion, it's crazy to make literally the biggest decision of your entire life and NOT feel some anxiety. I've known I was going to marry my FH before we even started dating (we were best friends at the time) and I know he is the greatest man and I could cry even just thinking about not being with him. But, if I'm being truly honest, yes, I can sometimes get a little anxious if I'm in an over-thinking mood. Totally and completely normal.

During the last week I have felt extremely guilty on how much money we are spending on the wedding and how it could have paid off a car or my student loan. It makes me sick. I have questioned was I selfish in wanting a wedding, selfish in spending the money. Its hitting me hard this week as the last minute checks are being cut. It will be a great party though!