Cohabitating Catholics

Our priests (the one marrying us and the one doing our Pre-cana) did not care and both are very conservative. Worst case, lie. Say you live together but sleep in separate rooms. Usually that's as much as you need. I did go see a church that wanted me to move out for 6 months but that sure wasn't happening. Tell them flat out it's for economic reasons because it is.

Similar situation here! Most parishes understand that couples live together prior to marriage. It's not something they like but they understand it's common and it's discussed during multiple steps in the pre-cana process. Be honest with your priest, however

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Sorry, but lying is never the right answer. If someone won't marry you because you live together, find someone else to do it.

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I second this.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this too.

I do not intend on lying to the priest - that would be bad karma, right?! But it scares me to think they'll just be like, "Nope we're not marrying you, maybe you shouldn't live in sin! Goodbye!".

My fiancee lived in Herdon, Virginia before we met, his lease was up so he moved to Baltimore. We're getting married a hour outside Bmore.... Do you have to disclose that you're living together.

The priest just looked at me and said "same address" and I said yes. No issues.

Both my daughters are getting married in the Catholic Church this year and both live with their FH's. Neither had an issue with their living arrangements when they did their pre Cana and they were both honest about it.

I’m getting married in Northern VA in a Catholic Church and we are cohabitating. The only thing we’ve had to do is complete about 50 extra questions on the FOCUS questionnaire and discuss them with the priest at one of our meetings. Our priest did encourage us to sleep in separate bedrooms...we just smiled and nodded.

My FH and I were baptized catholic but we are actually atheist now.
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My close friend was married in a Catholic church. She lived with her now hubby then. The priest asked about their living situation, they were straight forward, and he didn't say anything.

I don't think many priest have a huge problem with it anymore tbh. My pastor (who is very Conservative) doesn't care. He said that he just tells couples not to have sex during the counseling- but he isn't their dad so he isn't going to keep asking about it- just asks for that one thing. So I think you are fine! I definitely wouldn't lie or get defensive though

Ugh. I hate this whole charade. I am not getting married in the church for that reason...which I just found out is also supposed to preclude me from being my niece and nephew’s godmother. Apparently it makes me a less than perfect Catholic. I’m wondering where all these perfect ones are! I’m glad others ya e had ok experiences—I’ve heard it go both ways.

I would be honest. You know that you can't lie, and if you tell them the truth the worst they can do is say no and then you'll move on to the next option.

Their concern is for you to be married and no longer be in sin. They would not reject a couple that is trying to get married by the church.

Everyone I know in DC proper, has lied or just avoided it, lying by omission. Not saying it's the right thing to do but I do believe that revealing this will mean that you can't get married (in general terms). I am assuming at this point that the Chuch just appreciates that you stents flaunting your heathen ways (LOL - I do not think this of you! ), and so it goes unspoken. The Church HAS to know at this point and must just turn a blind eye. Same with birth control and family planning, from what my friends say.

Aren't flaunting ^

I had a very similar situation. We got engaged the day we moved in together. When we visited the church for the inital pre-marriage discussions the Priest did ask us if we were living together, since we listed the same address.

We were honest and told him yes. He didn't comment on it or act in a disapproving way at all, he was very accepting. I think it was helpful because in the sessions it factored into our conversations about household habits and spending time together, so it was beneficial on our end.

I would always suggest to be honest about it.