Closest friend doesn't want to be a bridesmaid....

If she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid, she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid. "Talking her into it" would just be pressuring her into something she doesn't want to do. I would just give her a seat in the front row and be done with it.

I wouldn't. Some people just don't want to do it. You asked and she answered. Just let it be. She will be in attendance at your wedding anyway, so she will still be part of your day.

Respect her choice. If you talk her into it, in 6 months you will probably be one of those brides on here complaining about how awful she is as a bridesmaid, that she won't buy the dress, won't plan a shower for you, and doesn't care about your wedding at all. She has the foresight to know that declining now is better than disappointing you later. It's better to keep the friendship intact.

I would definitely not try to talk to her into it. Would you want someone to pressure you into doing something that you didn't want to do for their benefit? Chances are....neither does she. Maybe she can't afford it, doesn't like being in front of people, doesn't like weddings, doesn't like dressing up.. Regardless, it sounds like she made it clear that she doesn't want to do it. I know it'd suck to not have her by your side on your wedding day, but still, I'd let that one go.

If you selfishly disrespect her decision and try to talk her into doing what you want to do, you are not a good friend to her. Let her be a guest.

No, respect her wishes. I also hate to be in weddings. The financial burden, the expectation to plan (help) showers and all that crap. When I asked I made it very clear they did not have to do it, totally up to them. I am also paying for their dresses and I told them I did not want a shower/bach party at all.

The person that I want to be my MOH has said something similar, doesn't even want to go. It definitely stings bc my dream bridal party only consists of her and two other people. I'm almost considering begging, because yes it is so extremely important to me. There's no classy way to get someone to do something they don't want to do though. Definitely don't push, it can only end badly. And I'll try to take my own advice and the advice of others here. But it is really sucky.

No. This is her decision. Respect it.

That's an understandable disappointment, but you do need to respect her wishes. Honestly, I hardly noticed my bridesmaids during the ceremony! She could still be invited, and you could ask her if she wants to get ready with you. I had a good friend at the house with us, even though she wasn't technically in the wedding.

I agree with the others about respecting her decision, maybe she'll agree to help you get dress or something. If not just tell her you love her no matter what & you'll be happy as long as she is there as a guest.

I understand your disappointment. We picture our weddings a certain way and when something huge puts a kink in that picture we've imagined, like not having a bridesmaid agree to be a part of the wedding party, it can be very upsetting. However, like the other brides have said, you should respect her choice. Maybe let her know that the offer is always open to her should she change her mind. If you want her involved you can always invite her to help out with different aspects of the planning, such as going with you to pick out your dress. She doesn't have to be a bridesmaid to still be able to do those things with you.

I agree with everyone else. And your wedding isn't about who your bridesmaids are, it's about you and your FH. At the actual ceremony, they won't be what you're focused on. I think it's more important that she's there to share the day with you.

I agree that you can't push her and maybe this is a gift in disguise! Have you considered not having anyone but you and FH up there? It saves a lot of stress and money.

You asked, she declined- I would be very upset too But you need to respect her decision. Maybe ask her to get ready with you the day-of? Also, include her in things like your shower and bachelorette party.

I agree with the others. If you do try to "talk her into" and she would except then shed be quilted into it and later on possible even ruin your friendship! Id respect her decision and id maybe even ask if she could help you do little things if she wanted to. Like maybe help DIY something or shop for stuff or put favors together. Im sure she knows how much it means to have her part of the planning but if she said no to that as well....then id just giver her a good seat and call it a day.

Date Twin I was in the same boat about a year ago. It kind of hurt. In the beginning I planned on no wedding party. Then two of my close friends all but offered themselves to be MOH and BM. So, I said sure, if they want to great. So, I immediately thought of my best friend growing up who we don't see or talk to so much today, but when we do its like we left off right where we ended last time we saw each other, and every time is always so much fun with this friend when we do get together. We've been besties since we were 14! Still consider each other best friends even though we don't see each other sometimes but for only a couple of times a year. So, when I told her I had a wedding party, two girls stepped up and asked if they could be in my wedding, and I agreed, I instantly thought of her ... she was standoffish about it, not interested! Yikes. I felt my heart sink a little. She's just not into weddings. And I respected that. We are still going to have a great time dancing with her as my guest. No biggie.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I talked to her a little more and she wants to serve cake at the reception so that's exactly what she is going to do. It's disappointing but I am not going to push it. I have another of my good friends in mind to put in her spot!

Ask her to get ready with you morning of?

I had the same issue :/ I just dropped it because she's not one to change her mind and I didn't want to strain the friendship. It hurt my feelings really bad but there was nothing I could say to convince her. The bottom line I guess is that it's better to not have someone in the bridal party who really doesn't want to be.