Civil Marriage & Wedding Ceremony Tips?

When you legally sign wedding papers, you should inform people that you are already married, because that is your actual wedding. Getting married next year and then having another celebration in 2020 is called a vow renewal or a celebration of marriage/reception.

I would be a little off set if I attended a wedding and then found out the couple had already been married for a year, and some may even be offended if they feel you tried to hide it for other reasons. Once you sign the papers next year you will be officially married and any other type of celebration shouldn't be considered a wedding, necessarily.

View Quoted Comment That's my thought too. We are telling ppl we are going to go to the courts in Dec but come back home and have the reception lol

View Quoted Comment Regardless of whether I call it a wedding or reception, are you saying I can’t do the whole “walk down the aisle” thing just because I chose to be legally married a year before? And that I’d only hold the banquet/ reception in 2020?

View Quoted Comment Sorry, I mean regardless of whether I call it a wedding or celebration of wedding*. It seems to me that the title of it doesn’t really matter unless you’re saying that I would have to skip the ceremony part of a wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, because I know a lot of people get legally married ahead of time for a variety of reasons but they also want to have a wedding for friends and family. And since the legal marriage at the courts is more for us personally, I wasn’t sure if it’s something I need to announce because we’re still planning our wedding ceremony and all a year later. I read somewhere that people who have done this still gets an officiant on the day of their wedding ceremony but they obviously just don’t need to sign a document and turn it in. But I’d rather hear from real people in a forum 😂

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No you can still walk down an aisle and wear a pretty dress, but you're not legally becoming a married couple at the ceremony because you will have already done that in 2019. People should know that they are attending a vow renewal or a celebration of marriage over an actual marriage ceremony. You can still have a reception and everything.

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THIS. So this. I agree with the other posts too that you're more than welcome to walk down the aisle and wear a wedding gown at a later date as long as guests know its a second celebration/ vow renewal/ whatever you want to call it.

My sibling did the whole get married in private six months before the wedding, don't tell anyone, have an expensive (to guests) destination wedding, and then wonder why people are upset when they find out it's not the "real" wedding. Can you tell it still annoys me?

View Quoted Comment Gotcha! Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Yeah 😂 I can totally understand that. I don’t think it needs to be hidden at all. Not like people wouldn’t come to your wedding just because you got legally married a few months ago! Sorry she hid that from you ... of all people, I’d expect her to at least tell her family! 🙁

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TOTALLY AGREE. Have as much fun as you can getting, being and celebrating your marriage: have your ceremony and then your 2020 celebration. I think it says a lot that you asked and considered others.

As for the other questions, invite who you want to the civil ceremony. I had some friends do just siblings and parents, then a nice dinner after. You can always send a 'marriage announcement' after too with any good photos you have. And for the celebration, do what budget allows and again what you want.

View Quoted Comment You can totally do the whole ceremony just change the wording slightly. I got married at the courthouse last year but this Saturday is our “wedding “. We did all the typical wedding things minus the bridal shower, and we did t register. Our invites say “ Join us to celebrate our marriage”. We omitted the ring exchange.

There are people (like me) who aren't interested in re-enactments. And who really aren't happy about being led to believe a re-enactment is actually a wedding. Have your wedding now; have a party later; just don't pretend the party is a wedding (e.g. having a ceremony, walking down the aisle, etc., etc.) You already had the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I like this idea a lot! Thanks

We did this in February. It was just me, him and my son. We did not tell anyone before hand but called our parents right after and let them know. And then let everyone else know lol. We actually both changed our names. We have our big ceremony in Vegas in Oct. I think everyone would have been upset if they didn't know we were legally married already. Every single person is still very much as excited to still come to the bigger ceremony. Don't hide it if you do get legally married before the big ceremony. Apparently this is actually how they do it where his family is from so his mom was really excited. It wasn't on purpose but she was still excited lol.

My friends did this. I was at both ceremonies. Both were totally special and meaningful she did them a year apart. She did not tell people they were married as everyone in both her families, said people wouldn't come. That is every woman's worst fear if she's already paid for a venue, so don't get me started. We did this too. We got hitched legally in April and will be having our reception later in October, we didn't explicitly tell people except our parents, and our officiant. Our invites do say "celebration of marriage" though. so people can draw their own conclusions. We will tell them if they ask but I don't know if anyone will notice or care. I wanted to tell everyone because I genuinely want to tell the whole world I am a married woman! In both of these instances it is PARENTS that gave us this advice. Our parents are more concerned about it than we are. Most people are practical people and understand sometimes you just do what you gotta do. Yes it is my parents and her parents that told her not to tell anyone. Parents opinions matter when they are giving you money toward the wedding, and other things.

My grandparents did this back in 1945. According to Grandma while at college, they got legally married because they thought they could not have sex if they were not married, and their parents did not want them to get married until my Grandfather finished college. They did not tell anyone that they had the legal ceremony two years before, and they had a church wedding after his graduation. And they kept their civil ceremony a secret for another 50 years until all of their parents were deceased.