Church donation

$100 is too much in my opinion but any money to a church is tok much in my opinion.

But I think because you are already paying a heafty amount just to use the church and their required things, $100 or whatever you can afford is a fair amount. And it should be half to the church' you are using and half to the church your pastor came from.

Hi. We're also getting married in a Catholic church. I'm not sure off-hand how much we're paying for the Marriage Prep classes, but I think it's around $100 or so, including the required NFP classes. There's also a donation to the church of $500, plus monetary gifts to whomever is doing the cantoring and altar serving. The folder we got from our parish with all of that info is with my FH. If you'd like, I can check and let you know exactly what we're paying the church. Where is your wedding? I would imagine there are some Diocesan regulations with that sort of thing.

"Any money to a church is too much"? Churches charge money because someone has to pay to maintain all those gorgeous windows and keep the heat on and pay the organist. I don't understand what is so cosmically confusing about that. You can truly access God anywhere, but once you want a building, a minister and coffee hour, there is money involved. It's great that they'll allow non parishioners to use the church and your own deacon; that's not always the norm.

Danielle, those fees are about right for churches in my area, though altar baskets are not always required. (This is why it cracks me up when people think officiant fees are high; church fees makes look like a bargain.)

I don't think 100.00 is cheap, considering all the other fees, since much of those fees, technically, are going to the church. If you want to give the deacon a donation for his church, it should be about the same.

$100?? Thats nowhere near enough. I think the norm is 500. Mine is 210 for the facility charge, 500 for our pastor. 300 for the church coordinator ( if we have a rehersal), and 350 if we use the church pianist..which we are not. We also have to for the pre maritial test and one on one counselng with our pastor Which comes to another 150. Im Lutheran elca

I feel like that's a lot of money!!! Pre cana for us was only $100, music director/musicians at the ceremony is $200, and the required church donation is $300. We aren't required to have altar baskets or anything like that, but my priest did suggest having a small, cheap bouquet to put at the altar for Mary. He told us not to spend a fortune on it, but it would be nice if we had something. I don't understand why it's so expensive at the churches you're looking at! Good luck trying to figure everything out.

Thanks all! The breakdown of the fees:

To the actual church: $600

Cantor fee: $200

Organist fee: $175

We have to attend two wedding prep classes: precana and god's spiritual journey to a joyous marriage ($125+ $175).

I'm not questioning the fees and understand the upkeep I just needed help with the extra donation part and when should we give this donation? At the rehersal or designate somebody to give it after the actual ceremony?

The church is in summit, NJ

$1,000 fees - what are those going to? I mean yea music, but whoever is playing music will be doing that for an hour or so. That's a lot for ceremony music. The $300 for prep classes certainly is way more than the cost of the materials. Same with $400- that's a lot for flowers! Catholic churches are big into the $$. My FH's church pushes tithing and second collections at masses. The fees you're paying for your church are probably in part because its a Catholic church. I don't think $100 is too little, because it is a DONATION and not required. Plus, technically ALL those fees are also going to the church.

I thought donation was in lieu of fees . . . I wouldn't give them a donation if they are charging me $1000, but I would give a donation to the church of your deacon.

ETA: Why do they have to be $400 baskets of flowers? Can you use fakes or a cheaper flower?

The baskets, frankly, are a ridiculous requirement.

The 300 isn't so outrageous, and in the scope of things? It's probably some of the best money you'll spend investing in the outcome of the marriage.

You're in my area, and that's pretty normal, but again, the flowers are nuts.

Offsetting all of this is that much of this can be written off as donations.....

I'm Lutheran and that just seems crazy ridiculous for church fees. (Although I suspect most of the fees are at least doubled being you are non-parishioners). With those kind of fees I wouldn't give any kind of donation to the church, but would give something to the deacon who's performing the wedding.

Our church doesn't require we do any premarital classes, but if we did it costs $65.00.

We have to pay $50.00 to the custodian for cleaning the church and a $20.00 fee for the church to print our wedding programs, which we have bought and are providing.

Thanks for all of your insight. I think we have an idea of what we are going to do. And it's $200 more because we aren't members. The church fee would only be $400 if we were members. Kind of jealous of some of the fees you ladies are sharing with me but it's okay... I'm sure it'll all be money well spent. Thanks again

550 for the church, 150 for organist, 100 for cantor, 100 for priest, 50 for rehearsal, 250 for classes, 20 dollars for alter boys.