Amina
Dedicated January 2020

Christmas and wedding expenses

Amina, on December 13, 2019 at 10:48 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19
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Anyone else struggling with Christmas presents with their wedding being so close to the holidays?? Our date is 2 weeks after Christmas and FH is stressing himself out paying for the wedding and trying to purchase $300-$400 in gifts for his family. My mindset is that Christmas is every year, your wedding is only once. Would it not seem logical to just buy smaller gifts this year. Would they really be that upset?

19 Comments

  • Vannesa
    Expert October 2021
    Vannesa
    • Flag

    Get people movie gift cards those are always nice for people and simple. They should understand you guys paying for a wedding.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey
    • Flag

    We are keeping our Christmas small this year. We aren't doing as much as we normally do to save money for the wedding. We also aren't going to be traveling to my in-laws either but that wasn't our choice; but on the plus side it will save us some money.

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  • Future Mrs. A. 馃拲
    VIP November 2020
    Future Mrs. A. 馃拲
    • Flag
    I would definitely be okay with just small sentimental gifts, tree ornaments, candles etc.. there are so many to chose from, you don鈥檛 need to go crazy! People understand that you are planning the wedding! I would stress it
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren
    • Flag

    I would definitely keep it small. Everyone should understand. We got engaged September 2018 and I told my sister (we usually go in on big gifts together for our parents) and my husband that things would be light this year (Christmas, birthdays, mother's day, father's day...etc) since we are paying for the wedding ourselves. In truth gifts will probably be light for a few years as we recoup our savings and save to buy a house. It's your finances, people should be thankful for any gift no matter the size.

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  • Jaimie
    Expert May 2020
    Jaimie Online
    • Flag
    Our wedding is in May 2020 and we agreed it's a small christmas this year. Like his mom is getting two candles and a sign she can hang up. Two cousins are getting $25 gift cards each. We have a limit for everyone. Saving for the wedding is more important
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Champion June 2019
    Melle
    • Flag
    I think keeping it small is a good idea
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Expert January 2020
    Rebecca
    • Flag

    We're keeping it small this year, too. Like you said, Christmas happens every year, your wedding only happens once.

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  • Rhianna
    Devoted April 2020
    Rhianna
    • Flag

    We told our families that we are going very small this year and that they should do the same. they understood that we're paying for a wedding and didn't take it personally. just have a talk with them.

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  • Kyleah
    Super March 2020
    Kyleah
    • Flag

    We did smaller gifts this year as well! Usually we spend upwards of $1000 for all the gifts we need to buy but this year we lowered it down to $400-ish.

    I bake as a hobby so a lot of people are getting baked goods Smiley smile For kids we put a $15 limit on each gift!

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  • Jennifer
    Savvy September 2020
    Jennifer
    • Flag

    We had to set limits this year on Christmas presents too. Everyone is getting something small, but thoughtful, from us. My FH just got let go from his job in the beginning of November so this year has been extra tough with buying gifts, paying bills, and somehow still saving up for the wedding.

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  • Mrs. Sarantos
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. Sarantos
    • Flag
    I bought smaller gifts this year but they鈥檙e still sweet things I think everyone will like.
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2020
    Christine
    • Flag
    This is where he and I disagree. I want to go smaller on the presents this year. He buys for his two sisters and their husbands and then they each have 4 kids. I usually buy for all my nieces and nephews that I've help my mother raise. Theres 7 of them and then we have 4 smaller children and 1 adult. I'm not buying my nieces and nephews anything this year because they moved to texas with my mother and they usually never play with any of it anyways because my mother spoils them. So they understand. So I suggested let just make fruit baskets for his sisters and their husbands and not buy any of the nieces and nephews anything and the adult daughter I got her a cross necklace ( he says that's not good enough ) and the smaller kids we got a few presents that's needed like shoes and then giving them cash where they can buy their own toys or whatever they are into. We sent our parents Chistmad cards. Hes not happy at all ! He says it's not good enough ,but we have 5 dec birthdays , kids to buy for and a wedding to pay for. So I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not!
    • Reply
  • E
    Savvy January 2020
    Elizabeth
    • Flag
    You are not being unreasonable at all. I am getting married 10 days after Christmas and we are paying for this ourselves. Christmas is super small this year and everyone understands. Super small...like some candy in the stocking and 2 gifts under $20 each. But...at least there will be *SOMETHING* under the tree for everyone, and I am grateful, because, I remember 10 years ago when we pretty much skipped Christmas altogether because I couldn't even afford that.
    • Reply
  • E
    Savvy January 2020
    Elizabeth
    • Flag
    By the way...if FH is still twitchy, sit him down with the budget, everything you have spent on the wedding, everything that still needs to be purchased, how much money you have, and how much you can expect to earn between now and then, and show him you have "this many dollars to spend on gifts" and put him in charge of how that money gets divvied up
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Expert April 2020
    Anna
    • Flag

    I'm happy i'm not the only one going cheap cause of their wedding lol. My fh wanted to go all out. My fh likes to spend a lot during Christmas. He didn't like it at first, i told him i'm not going into debt for this wedding. What we did is buy gifts for our own family gifts, instead of both, and just putting both our names on it. This has helped me so much. I also cut out a lot of family gift giving. Every little bit helps. My fh and i are paying for everything, so my family needs to understand they're not getting a lot this year lol.

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  • Andrea
    VIP April 2020
    Andrea
    • Flag

    Our Christmas is super small this year. Smaller amounts of gifts and less expenses all around, mainly due to the wedding. But we don't mind at all. The kids are still getting their special gifts and we're still having a few xmas dinners with various family members, what more could we ask for? Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Melanie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Melanie
    • Flag
    My FH and I told the families we weren鈥檛 gift giving this year due to the wedding. Everyone seems understanding as it鈥檚 a destination wedding and essentially we鈥檙e paying for a week Long Beach vacation for everyone. But of course FH just had to chip his tooth so now we have to pay for that to be fixed and shewwww Christmas would have been cheaper 馃槀
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2020
    Christine
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes! Thank you! That's exactly what I did !!!
    • Reply
  • Quinesha
    Savvy December 2019
    Quinesha
    • Flag

    I am happy I am not alone here! Our wedding is 3 days after xmas... and he still thinks he can go big like we usually do.... NO SIR ABSOLUTELY NOT. lol Its okay to go light for one year to have the wedding that we both want.... and we can bounce back next year!

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