Choreographed first dance.. help!

Most check lists place starting lessons about 1.5-3 months out depending on how intricate you want the dance to be.

I started my lessons 3 months in advance. The instructor said that that was enough time to teach us the basic waltz.

It honestly depends on your dance. Some are more intricate than others and may take longer to learn. I would start with lessons once per week for at least a month or 2 to get the basics down and then leave another 6 weeks or so to learn you choreographed routine. This is coming from someone who performs a yearly show and has to learn 3 to 4 routines in about 5 to 6 months with classes once per week per routine. Any choreographer worth their salt will choreograph to your ability. I would give yourself at least 3 to 4 months with weekly lessons in order to have a solid routine in place.

Is it an actual slow dance? IMO why on earth do you need dance lessons for a slow dance.. waste of money that you could put somewhere else. Practice in the.living room and use youtube.. the internet is a wonder. Everytime FH and I's first dance song comes on, we dance to it...

I wouldn't even get dance lessons unless you're planning on giving a show. Just pick a good song, sway to the music, and enjoy the time with your hubby instead of worrying about missing a step to a dance.

I really don't understand these performances, unless professional dancing is second nature to the couple. The entire point of the first dance is for the couple to engage emotionally, not physically. You should be holding him/her and allowing the words and music to touch your heart instead of counting out the beats and worrying about your footing. I seriously don't understand amateurs trying to pull this off.

It sounds like your confidence is through the floor. Don't do this to yourself (and this is coming from someone who sways, but cannot dance -- and wouldn't try to do anything that even remotely resembles a choreographed, spotlight dance, especially in front of an audience of my nearest and dearest -- who will be forced to give you feedback on your "performance" -- and that's what it is). You don't have to do this, and if you're this concerned about your level of non-skill, cut yourself a break and ditch the choreographed dance (even when the couple is great, it always looks like a cry for applause...sorry to those of you who are sold on the idea).

Don't do this to yourself. Do a nice slow dance and relax. Most highly choreographed dances I've seen have been genuinely cringeworthy; the couples look nervous and miserable and after one minute, no one is even watching.

Cut yourself a break and just do a box step.

I'm a dancer and I originally wanted DH and I to take lessons and do a choreographed first dance. He doesn't dance at all and was not into doing something choreographed. I think if we had done it, it would have been extra (and unnecessary) stress for both of us. We picked a meaningful song and slow danced. In retrospect I'm really glad that's what we did, because I was so giddy I probably wouldn't have remembered any of the choreography lol. If you're not much of a dancer I would say skip the lessons, skip the choreography and just keep it simple.

My friend is getting married around the same time as you and they started dance lessons about a month ago. I would definitely look into getting that started ASAP

Dance lessons are unnecessary but if it helps calms your nerves then go for it! We might do a lesson just to get some tips so we feel a little better about having to dance in front of everyone.

Ugh. Is this still a thing?!

@OliviaP i would NEVER attempt a dancing with the stars thing.. definitely not rhythmically equipped for that feat, but we both love love love the idea of doing something more than just swaying to a song.. just a couple extra moves to make it our own

Just sway! If it will make you feel better, take a few dance lessons but... don't stress yourself out trying to choreograph a dance!