Choosing the right wedding guests

We've decided not to put money down on anything unless it's an elopement until the pandemic is over. I recommend you have a covid guest list and a after covid guest list. Then make a final decision as it gets closer to your big day.

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That's a good idea! Thanks!

If you're looking for ways to scale back your guest list, often times, cutting out kids could help (depending on the amount of kids you originally invited), as well as sometimes cutting out plus ones for single guests. Friends of parents and acquaintances can also be removed. Otherwise, make a list of who you cannot imagine your wedding day without, and invite only those people.

Right now our guest list is as we first made it. We’ve talked about who we would cut if the pandemic wasn’t better by March and would just invite the closest to us. We also decided to have a minimony in October where we’re inviting about 30 people in case we have to push March back.

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Thank you. I definitely have to cut out plus ones, a lot of people are still asking me if they could bring a plus one and I'm already over my limit.

Our guest list is pretty much the same now, minus about 10 people (nothing to do with Covid, we just lost touch with certain people or decided we shouldn’t have invited them the first time around). Just realize the people who attend will be able to share in the memory of your wedding day, and you want positive people who are there to support you!

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Sounds good. Everything is so unpredictable and it's hard because I don't want to offend anyone if I have to eliminate them.

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Yes! I definitely want and need positive people there on my special day. Wedding planning has been stressful and there has been a few negative people, that has a lot to say about everything.

Are they people we regularly see?
Do we at least see them at Christmas?
Are they friends we keep up with consistently?If I quit my job tomorrow; would I still want to invite my current coworkers?
Those were thoughts I considered. We ended up postponing, and then cutting the postponed date to 50 people. We cut all coworkers, distant cousins, etc. and some friends’ spouses because well we had to lol. But I don’t regret it. Honestly saved us a ton on catering and alcohol.
Good idea to keep it small, everything is so fluid right now with wedding guidelines. Best of luck to you!

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Thank you! That would definitely help me eliminate some people.

We said no kids which would be 8 spots aka $1,000; well, the adults got attitudes and even asked us who is supposed to watch their children so those adults are no longer coming. Never imagined it going that way! But it is what it is at this point. Best wishes

View Quoted Comment Great advice!

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Lol, wow well at least you got to save money! People always want things their way.

We scaled down from 130, to 80. I’d recommend cutting out children. If you’re having alcohol, you could cut anyone under 21. Also, look at your list and consider how big of an impact it would have if ___ wasn’t there- Would it even feel right? If it doesn’t make a difference, cut them. If it does, keep them. You could also cut any person that you and your FH agree you don’t really have much of a relationship with (coworkers, friends of parents, someone’s plus one or girlfriend/ boyfriend).
Everyone should be more than understanding that there’s a pandemic going on, so you have to make these kind of difficult decisions. You’ll also most likely find that some people aren’t comfortable with coming anyway, so that may be there way out. That happened for me, I sent a notice saying something along the lines of unfortunately we had to make the difficult decision of cutting the guest list and that we’d be reaching out to people in the near future to update them on our plans moving forward. People were more than understanding. we also got plenty of people letting us know that they aren’t comfortable coming, and that took care of that! Also, if you are considering also streaming your wedding over zoom or FB live or something, that’s also a way you can include people. Remember that at the end of the day, this is about you and your FH. You guys deserve to have who you want there. No one else’s opinion matters.

Every family dynamic and social circle is different, so some people may be closer to extended family and friends than their immediate family. Only you know who you are closest to.
If you have to cut, pick those you absolutely cannot imagine the day without. If that means mostly friends and a few cousins instead of your parents, then that's what you do.
Cut out obligated coworkers and friends of your parents first and figure out who your core group is.

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Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely take all of this into consideration!

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Thanks! This is so hard lol.

It was easy. We only invited our closest circle of family/friends. So these are people who we’re regularly in contact with and interact with. This is our wedding and a special event. So we want to be surrounded by those who are close to us, who truly know and support us. It’s not a time to invite “just because” guests who are solely acquaintances or rarely communicated with. So
that resulted in 60 being invited. You just have to be honest with yourself and not feel pressured to invite any and everyone to your wedding.

View Quoted Comment I get it. Hopefully people will be a little more understanding because of Covid

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Thank you, I did feel pressured, but i'll try not to feel guilty for not inviting certain family members.