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Beginner December 2018

Choosing a wedding date and period

Janely, on June 14, 2018 at 11:07 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11

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Hi all,
I am planning a destination wedding at the beach 🏖 in late September. I am really confused about picking a date that makes me feel comfortable with my period calendar.

My first choice was sat, sep 29 at 3pm at the beach gazebo. We sent a booking request and were told it's only available in the garden gazebo. Our coordinator suggested if we want to consider our second choice for Friday, October 12 at 3pm.
At this point I was disappointed but went back over the dates again. Upon checking my period calendar I realized that my first choice for Sat Sept 29 is also my forecasted ovulation day. My period is usually consistent regular cycle around 28 days +-1. So far I am not on birth control and always avoid ovulation days for intimacy.
However I do would prefer for my wedding on a Saturday and believe it would be better for many of the guest that are comming from my hometown in the Dominican republic to the destination wedding 6hrs away in punta cana. The rest of the guest are flying ✈ so everyone has to take a day or 2 off regardless.

So I thought maybe if I get started on birth control it would be safe to use dual methods for the wedding night. And also if we stay a couple more days for the honeymoon we should be fine. It's important to us that we are safe as we are just starting our marriage and want to wait at least 2 years before planning to conceive.

What's your advice on picking sat, Sept 29, 2018 plus using birth control because it's at or next to my ovulation day
Or picking Oct 12 which is fine but it's also 3 days away from my period :/ forecasted for Monday.

For a minute I feel like none of them are ideal but ny peri always comes around one way or the other.

-Jane from New York

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Miaaa, on June 14, 2018 at 2:47 PM

Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 14, 2018 at 11:13 AM
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...just use condoms.
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Dedicated May 2018
Samantha · on June 14, 2018 at 11:15 AM
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Keep in mind you might be too tired to be intimate on the wedding night- I know myself and many other couples have been.
I'm on birth control and I do recommend it to ease your worries of getting pregnant and not having to worry about when you're ovulating in general. But it's a big change for your hormones so I wouldn't necessarily start it just for that one reason of the wedding night.
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Beginner December 2018
Janely · on June 14, 2018 at 11:24 AM
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Thanks for the advice!
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Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on June 14, 2018 at 11:26 AM
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Just use whatever method of birth control you are currently using to not get pregnant
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on June 14, 2018 at 11:26 AM
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Honestly if you are avoiding conceiving for 2 years I would just start up on BC to put your mind at ease. Natural family planning like you are doing can easily turn into pregnancy as little things can throw off your ovulation esp something as big and stressful as planning a wedding.
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VIP January 2019
Daria · on June 14, 2018 at 11:29 AM
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I know a couple who uses and swears by this "Natural" family planning method. She's due with her 4th this summer. 3 of her 4 were unplanned. Unless you have a reason that you can't be on hormonal BC, get your doctor to do something. If you do have a medical reason to not be on something, use condoms.
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Beginner December 2018
Janely · on June 14, 2018 at 11:34 AM
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I use it only together with a condom. Sorry I forgot to mention. I would not count on it alone. But so far I've been preety regular. I am considering BC now because we will be married as when we Date its only occasionally.

Thanks!
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Expert August 2020
FutureMrsR-M · on June 14, 2018 at 12:16 PM
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I would stick with what you are doing now. I have tried BC in the past and hated it. My moods were all wonky and my libido was almost always at zero. I also would get extremely nauseous any time I deviated an hour or more on taking my pill or if I didn’t sleep enough. I would hate to experience all those things around my wedding day.

If you want to maintain a natural cycle after marriage, you should consider the fertility awareness method. It’s similar to natural family planning but it’s not associated with any religion and you can use other birth control methods besides abstinence. When used correctly, it is basically 98-100% depending on what exactly you are doing.
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VIP December 2018
Casey · on June 14, 2018 at 12:21 PM
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If you start BC now, you'll be fine by September. I'm on a generic of Seasonique and YES, the first 6 weeks sucked, like nausea and weird spotting, but I've been on it for four years and it's been perfect ever since. No weight gain, and I only get my period once every 3 months. Do it girrrrrrl.
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VIP July 2018
Jen · on June 14, 2018 at 12:58 PM
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Yes - this exactly!
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Super January 2018
Miaaa · on June 14, 2018 at 2:47 PM
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I agree with others about BC. However, if you're interested in longer term birth control (no pregnancy for a couple of years) I'd suggest considering a LARC (long acting reversible contraceptive) like an IUD or implant. Talk to your Dr for more information/deciding what's right for you.
I knew I didn't want to get pregnant for at least two years and wanted the simplest least complicated option for me which was an implant. I don't get periods anymore (although that varies person to person), and I don't have to worry about taking BC on time everyday (I'm notoriously bad at remembering to take medication!). This is highly person dependent and may not be right for you, but it's something to consider.
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