Choosing a photographer, show me your real talent...

The photographer was definitely what I cared about the most, also what we're paying the most for, so that was definitely stressful. I wouldn't ask a photographer to "prove themselves" by taking photos of you, that's why they have portfolios. I think they'd be insulted and think it was pretty bold of you to request that. The people in their portfolios are just like you, normal everyday people. They look amazing in those photos largely due to the photographers talent; lighting, angles, posing, and editing. Photographers really know how to work their magic, I was amazed with how much I loved our engagement photos when I hate nearly every picture of myself. Find a photographer in your budget whose portfolio wows you and who is nice and informative at your meeting and then book with them.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I'm not asking anyone directly I'm just making the point of how difficult it can be to see something and not have your own expectations too high bc you don't look anything like that and there's only so much editing can do and still look like you and maybe that's where the problem lies to begin with. It's just a rant from a chronically low self esteem anxiety brain. My venue is relatively new and they have 1 wedding and 2 styled shoots on their site and it's marketing, you want to show your best so I get that what's featured on insta and portfolios is their best. I just know that ain't gonna be us and I'm not... super unfortunate looking I just... yeah. Stress is ahellofadrug

I have an old soul that doesn't understand why things are the way they are sometimes. I'm glad your experience was so good and I know it'll be fine once we pick, just feeling that wedding overwhelm. I got pressured into a dress I didn't want so I went alone and instead of the of the rack they were holding I'm having them order the one I want. I just need to trust myself that I can make the right decision for us. My fiance is super busy right now so it's up to me to get the list of people to meet with so he can help pick.

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It's definitely a lot to deal with, I think you're being too hard on yourself. I've said this to a lot of other brides on this forum when they worry about how photos turned out, we are our own biggest critics. I know that very well, I've spent my whole life making self-deprecating jokes about my appearance with the mindset of "oh I'm just laughing at myself, it's funny" until FH sat me down one day and told me he was tired of it. I thought he was overreacting and told him it was just a joke and he said "no it isn't, because I know that's the way you see yourself/think about yourself". We see flaws in ourselves that literally NO ONE else sees and we blow them way out of proportion.

I hate that you were pressured into a dress that you didn't want, but I'm so glad you're getting a different one. I bought a dress I didn't love and am now in the process of getting a new one. I think you're absolutely right in saying you need to trust yourself more, low self esteem can really take a toll on someone (I should know). Just try to take things one day at a time, you have plenty of time to plan. It wasn't our original plan but I'll have planned our wedding in only six months (our original date was in May 2020). If it starts to be too much, take a step back and breathe. Best of luck to you

When you meet with potential photographers just ask them if they can show you samples of their work with couples that are similar to you or venues similar to your venue. Many photographers have websites, blogs and instagrams where they post photos from real couples! And beyond that they often have plenty of photos or albums that they wouldn’t mind sharing with you privately. The best photographer will listen to your concerns and show you work that helps you understand how they will work with you to bring out your best.

Ignore the venue website. The venues almost always post ridiculous styled shoots because they want to position the venue at its best.. in their control and with their “budget”. It’s easy for a venue to rent one $1,000 table scape than for a couple to rent 10 x $1,000 table scapes. 😉