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Super June 2022

Choosing a gown you love even if the entourage doesn’t?

Rachel, on October 22, 2020 at 7:05 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 19

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Hi, everyone!

I want to hear some stories from your experiences with trying on wedding gowns. Did anyone actually pick a gown that your entourage didn’t particular care for or just plain didn’t like? I’m asking because the boutique I’m going to in May has the Lumi gown and they’ve put a note in my file that I want to try it on. I don’t plan to show any photos of this particular gown to my bridal party (my Mom, future MIL, or best friend) beforehand because I have a feeling they’ll point out what they don’t like about it before I even try the dress on - mostly because it’s unconventional, has the dreamcatcher sleeves, etc. I’ve already given a heads up that I’m naturally inclined to go with a bridal gown on the unique/different side and to be prepared if I happen to love a gown that they don’t think is traditional, etc. I have a couple of other dresses on my list that would be considered more “conventional”, but this and a couple of others are definitely more unique!
Anyways, I was just curious how many brides out there have gone through a similar situation where you might have fallen in love with and chosen a gown that everyone “hated” or wasn’t their favorite.

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19 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on October 24, 2020 at 11:48 PM

Master November 2022
Chrysta · on October 22, 2020 at 7:20 PM
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🙋🏼‍♀️ I purposefully took only 3 people with me to my 1st appointment, because I didn’t want a ton of options and I knew I wasn’t going to say yes to a dress during my 1st shopping trip. Then I went alone for 2 additional trips, just to make sure I had a good idea of what I liked on my body without anyone else chiming in. The last trip was the one where I was going to see The Dress... the one I was IN LOVE with and was prepared to say yes to if I liked it on me. I let only my mom come along on that trip since I knew there was a chance I would find my dress. I tried it on & loved it! There was no doubt in my mind that it was The One. My mom, however, wasn’t impressed. She wanted me to keep trying on others. Like most moms, she wanted me in the big white sparkly traditional ballgown. But that just is NOT me. I got the dress I loved & have zero regrets!
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 22, 2020 at 7:24 PM
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YYYAAASSS, that’s awesome! I know I’ll have the same issues with my Mom lol I know she has my best interest at heart, but her and I have butt heads on a couple of things during the planning process, mostly the dress and the cake flavors! She also wants me in something traditional and while I don’t mind, I just naturally gravitate towards the eccentric! Either way, I am definitely prepared - if I end up trying a dress on at my first appointment and loving it, that’s it! Glad you stood your ground, after all, we don’t want to look back on our special day and always regret not going with what we personally loved just to appease the crowd! 💗💗💗
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VIP August 1997
Belle · on October 22, 2020 at 7:37 PM
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I didn’t take anymore with me, so I could make a decision base on what I love and want. I sent a picture to my sis and a couple besties. Others haven’t seen my dress and I didn’t even have the gut to upload it here yet, because I am afraid to have it leaked
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 22, 2020 at 7:39 PM
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Oooooo, that’s wise! Part of me wishes that just my mom and I were going to try on dresses at my first appointment, but oh well! If I don’t find my dream gown at my first appointment, I have a second one lined up where just mom and I are going. Fingers crossed!! I love that you went alone and called your own shots! I have a vision of what I want to look like on my wedding day, no one’s getting in the way of that! 💗💗💗
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Super September 2020
Alli · on October 22, 2020 at 7:41 PM
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Just my mother ☺️ Best decision ever. I based my dress off of my opinion 100%! Nobody wants comments from the peanut gallery lol
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on October 22, 2020 at 7:47 PM
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I took my sister, my FMIL & due to COVID my daughter & her girlfriend had to wait outside (my mother passed 2 yrs ago). I had no idea what I wanted but everyone who knows me, knows I LOVE sparkles & I didn’t want a puffy dress. There was 1 dress my FMIL wanted me to get but I wasn’t feeling it. But, oh that 7th dress....I knew that was the 1!
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 22, 2020 at 7:48 PM
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Exactly! I think everyone has a natural tendency to try to guide us in the direction they think is best for a wedding, especially when it comes to the dress which is one of the most crucial. I am someone who goes against the grain and I’m giving plenty of notice beforehand lol! Definitely don’t need additional commentary!
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Devoted November 2020
Madelin · on October 23, 2020 at 8:03 AM
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The dress I chose was no ones favorite. I had two appointments, one with a woman that's like a mother to me, and the second with my mom, that woman again, and one of my bridesmaids (who is no longer a bridesmaid). Long story short, they all liked different dresses for me. The moms liked plain dresses for me. On one of them, the lace felt cheap. Also, I sent pictures to my sister of all the dresses I tried on, and again she did not like the one I loved. I decided on it because I'm the one who is going to wear it, I know I look fantastic in it, and that my FH is gonna love it. Plus, I had "the one" moment in it. Everyone came around, especially after they I lost more weight to fit into the sample dress at the store. I've also never been the one to follow the crowd or wear what others would want me to wear.
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Expert January 2021
Katie · on October 23, 2020 at 11:02 AM
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I think you should go by yourself. You clearly want a specific dress/designer and if your family and friends don't realize how much you've been obsessing over it they probably will say something you don't want to hear. You want a Haley Paige gown, so you just either tell them what your heart is set on or go try on your own.
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on October 23, 2020 at 11:46 AM
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I don't think anyone "hated" my dress, but I could tell it wasn't my mom's top pick or one of my best friend's top picks. But that didn't bother me!! I've been surprised by some of my friend's dress picks as well, but all that matters is how you feel when you wear it!! 💖
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Super October 2022
Michele · on October 23, 2020 at 11:48 AM
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Everyone has some clothing that they love but others don't personally care for the style. But that doesn't mean they think you're ugly in it. At the end of the day, you are the one wearing the wedding dress, and as expensive as they are, you better be 1000% in love with it. It doesn't matter if they like it, because they think you are beautiful no matter what. Your taste in clothes and styles differ. No one anywhere should cave and get a dress they don't like to please other people, but unfortunately that is all too common and happens more often than not because they forget they are the one making the decision.
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 23, 2020 at 11:49 AM
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That is SO true! I think that’s what’s so great about wedding dresses, they are so individualized and unique to the person wearing it. I am sure there are some who will look at some of my dress choices and think they aren’t “bridal enough”, but that’s okay. I think it’s important to choose a dress that speaks to you and makes you feel beautiful, that’s the key!
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 23, 2020 at 11:54 AM
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You make some great points here. That's one thing I keep reminding my Mom, there have been a few fashion choices I've made (both past and present) that she probably wouldn't care for but it's just "me". I also tell her that she should know how my style is by now based off of my choices and what I like/am into. She did tell me that she's not going to try and persuade me into a gown that she likes because she remembers how she used to try and dictate my prom dress choices when I was in high school and because this is 100% mine and my fiancé's special day, it should be what I like and what I want to wear - not anyone else's choice! I am definitely going to try and keep my focus on what I want and not what others like or don't care for because I don't want to have buyer's remorse!
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on October 23, 2020 at 12:42 PM
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I agree with this. But I went shopping alone, so I may be biased towards that choice.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on October 23, 2020 at 1:47 PM
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I only took my mom & dad dress shopping with me. I decided I did need a bunch of opinions when really the only ones that mattered to me were my own and my parents.
I did send photos to my best friend/bridesmaid ahead of time to show her some of my favorites. She actually said she didn’t like the dress I chose... but when I took her with me to pick it up from the bridal boutique, she said she loved it and it was so much prettier in person.
Again, I didn’t care if she liked it or not lol, it was my dress not hers, but it was nice to hear her change her tune.
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on October 23, 2020 at 9:52 PM
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Girl, it only took 1, 2 dresses until I found the one and I decided on my own with no other voices or opinions.
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Super June 2022
Rachel · on October 24, 2020 at 11:22 AM
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I'm hoping my experience goes as smooth as yours did! I will listen to the opinion, but I know mine is the only one that matters!
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on October 24, 2020 at 8:00 PM
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Oh it was anything but smooth lol
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Master 0000
Judith · on October 24, 2020 at 11:48 PM
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As far as I am concerned, the key is not to bring an entourage to begin with. Say Yes to the Dress started the trend, to create drama. Many stores restrict it or disallow it because a few years of dress sales showed people were less, not more, likely to buy a dress at all. People reconsidering and cancelling orders immediately after they are made, having tears and fights in the dressing rooms and walking out of stores upset, made it clear it is just a bad idea. Once you are sure what you want, or have narrowed down to a couple choices that would please you, bring Mom or some sentimental choice to see it, if you want. But do early shopping with 1-2 people who share your taste in clothing generally. Bringing any entourage of mothers and bridesmaids is counterproductive if your goal is to actually find a dress. And is generally annoying to staff and other customers as well.
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